Just stumbled across this one. It’d have made for a great scene in an episode. Love the push and pull.

Well, gorram it. I tried to post this review and went and told me I'm not allowed because I've "already left a review here." What. Ever. (It won't let duplicate reviews of the same chapter...hasn't for a number of years. :-/ )

So, on a different browser where I'm not signed in, here's my SECOND review:

Man...this story is so good.

"Father. Husband. Catholic. Who is he if he's not that?"
THAT sums up the dilemma. Who is he if he crosses the line of NOT sacrificing his children or his marriage? And the description of it getting harder "year by year, day by day, moment by moment-to keep making that decision" is perfectly phrased. And his concern that if he were to give up his children, his wife, his God, his identity and integrity...who would he be and what value would he have anymore to bring to her? I really like that reflection.

And Liv...the description of what El can see, of how she needs someone to treat her as flesh and blood, as someone human, to worship gently and in adoration at each part of her body, to have the last person who touched her be someone she loves and respects and who offers that back...Lovely. I like her wanting to have sex, needing and wanting, as another story (SG1, though) had someone put it: "What I need...is for the last person inside of me, to have been someone I love." Him saying her name, then neither of them finding words...you write that so well, the long silences they have where there is so much to say, but most of those are things they're not willing to say, territory they're not willing to traverse...so the silence hangs too long until they...just have silence. I can't even figure out HOW to write those echoing silences they have, and you have such a knack for it. I love that you can convey those frozen moments.

Well done, as usual. That brittleness, that edge...without it, they're not Liv and Elliot, but MAN it's a hard thing to hit in words on a page. And yet, you bring in the guilt, the anger, the longing, the hesitation, the disdain (that they each have for themselves at moments and fling outwards)...and you make it gold. I LOVE that El is *jealous*...but that he knows that he's choosing a five-to-one and following his ethical position...and HATING it while still WANTING it both ways...because...the heart wants what the heart wants.

Their testiness...Liv's "NOT business" (because, DUH, Elliot)...Liv's confession to El that she wanted sex...her further confession that she couldn't manage it...it's a conversation that has him, for this story, knowing more than I think he ever did, but it makes for one interesting conversation in a world where he did know more. Liv THROWING those details at him in anger and frustration (at Harris, at herself, at El)...it's really good.

You got this so right. But he would've definitely been doing a wrong thing for all the right reasons. And that's why it grew continually harder. That's love, that's Liv.

Great nice

AHHH this deserves more reviews! I love Elliot battling with himself and what he knows he has to do and what he desperately WANTS to do. Brilliant writing and I'm so glad you shared it.

And BAM! You do it again.

Oooooh, YOU are VERY good. So well-written. And I usually don't even bother with one-shots. Glad I did. ;)

oo this is different! i want moreeeeeeee

Well that just hits you right in the gut. Also this is so perfectly Elliot. Asshole extraordinaire. Haha. He really makes the worst comments at the worst times possible. But I do love that despite all that he always knows her.

" if he's so certain he's done the right thing, then why does he feel like he just missed out of the greatest opportunity of his life?" Oh man. That...that just killed me.