Your story had some good points but you made the Colonials advance way to fast. One cannot upgrade their entire salesforce in just 6 month, with prototype technology to boot. Also you gave the Colonials some 200 or thereabouts ships. But when the Cylons meet the Lucian Alliance you say that they bring over 1000 ships. Let's say they build 40 Basestars a year they need 40 years to get to 1600. And if they had 1600 they would have easily overran the Colonies. Also for 1600 Basestars you would have over 32,000 Raiders. For one Planet!
Second the escape of Dean was cringe-worthy. How does a blind folded tied up person escape a Squad of soldiers in their own base? That just does not make any sense. And why were the team's out there in the first place?! They got lifesign readings on the Cityship and on the Spaceship in orbit.
Third Character shields for Kara and Kelly were really strong How does Kara get shot down on a new planet evade all capture and get picket up by her people without a single casualty. That planet was in the middle of WW2! And how does her being captured on planet make her the expert when the Colonials storm the facility where the ZPM is stored? Why is she even on that mission she is a fighter jock not special forces. And having the Jeep blow up and the ZPM land right by the Colonials was just lazy writing. Look up how tight security was on the Manhattan Project. No special forces team would just be able to walk in and literally have the objective fall into their laps.
In all the story has some great potential but with Earth basically being run by morons and the Colonials being Mary sues it made everything very predictable.
I hope you can improve on that and make people take more realistic actions and decisions and don't just upgrade tech that fast. It just does not work like that in real life. It's like giving Michelangelo the blueprints to a Abrams tank. Even if he understands what he is looking at he does not have the tools to build the tools to even begin to get that Tank built.

I had to go back to chapter 24 to pick up on the farancalis story,I guess they got the ZPM.

Kelsey Lee and starbuck were staging a raid on francalis and now suddenly they're on an uninhabited planet?

Wait a minute,how did Carter and Mitchell suddenly get back to the Hammond?the beaming tech is short range and Ragnar is two days travel by ship.

Seriously the going to the bathroom escape trick, no modern Earth soldier would ever fall for that. Theres a reason earth prison cells have a toilet in the cell. Also the soldiers would have just used a zat gun on her when she made a break for it.
This entire fic you seem to be writing the Earth as unintelligent bumbling idiots. You BSG bias is coming through strongly. They somehow keep magicaly upgrading there tech in days.

You are massively underselling asgard plasma beam weapons, there biggest damage comes from the heat they generate which can kill a ori mothership in 4-5 shots, a fleet of 12 hatack 2 304s and a asgard ship couldn't even break there shield. Unlike most ship-based energy weapon systems, which are designed to fire individual pulses of energy, the Asgard plasma beam is a narrow, high-intensity beam of superheated plasma. It uses no magnetic fields.
Even if there magnetic field could was able to block plasma it would still fail for the simple fact that tauri power generation is way more powerful.
In the stargate cannon its always portrayed as the one with with the most powerful power generation going towards shields and weapons wins.
Tech development just doesn't happen this fast, it took the US 50 years to figure out the gate and another 6 months for carter to devolop a dialing program. Also they had to develop algorithms to account for stellar drift.
Why did earth even show them how the stargate worked they could have just traveled by ship.
Theres no way the earth would let them get there hands on ancient tech when there acting so belligerent and behaving just like the ori, not to mention attempting to send a war fleet towards Earth. They would have just cut there losses and destroyed the city ship.

I feel like assuming she even speaks/reads English and not Greek (as is the usual implication), she still wouldn't immediately assume "toaster." Human Cylon models weren't introduced during the first war and not discovered until after the Invasion.

Overall I just really feel like chapter 1 needs an edit.

And when you are being interrogated you do not say your callsign, it's name, rank, and service number.

No, it's nowhere near ok, it's actually pretty abysmal: the plucky, YASS QUEEN SLAY daugher, the magical understanding of the english language and the knowledge of the latin letters, the corny introduction...
It's like you were going for the cringiest, most overused tropes because they were the easiest, laziest to use yet failed miserably even at them.
I'm out of here.

wow, you've made earth pretty pathetic, didn't you? just misstep after misstep, stupid after stupid, and unprofessional after unprofessional. the only thing earth and the sgc seems to have going for it is technology and sheer spunk.

i really like your story so far but i would like to correct your german sentence since you are missing a few words."Bewegen Sie sich schnell und greifen an bei Sichtkontakt."

Let me guess: you majored in women studies or something just as ridiculous and as faraway as possible from STEM , otherwise you should have known, from highschool at least, that this isn't how degaussing coils work.
In fact the coils would have made the damages even higher, by channeling and concentrating the plasma bolt even more. But the story is still fun none the less.

Nope sorry but I am stopping here I want action not the usual ancient meddling BS plot.

Very interesting story. The Kobal origin is a very reasonable explanation that allows the Colonials to keep their faith, yet have it fit into the SG universe.

I do wonder about how Athena could have been so easily tricked by the Cylon false flag defeat.

Looking forward to starting the next story.

Spike

I understand the colonial anti plasma cage reducing the effectiveness of the Asgard weapons but it better not completely neuter them either. There is still a huge discrepancy in the technology levels.

Thank you for all your work in writing this story and sharing your vision.