I totally love it. You know how to write. You do know it, very well indeed. I kinds like Olivia, so I'm really waiting forward her past

I feel like I should point out that a fair number of people will see your summary and automatically think "Mary Sue" because that tends to be what people think when they see an OFC. That's not nescessarily going to be a turn off, but you should keep in mind that the writing and the characterization has to be really good to convince the readers that you do have a good character. I'm not making any judgment of your OFC thus far, but I just want to make sure that you're aware of the fact that people can be wary of them in general.

I was a little confused as to your formatting. The short lines with the spaces in between followed by long lines was kind of distracting. If it were mine, I'd combine lines into paragraphs, or at least make each line go to the end of the page. That's more stylistic than anything, but it does make it a bit easier on the eyes of the reader.

I like the way that you have a bit of a Lemony Snicket thing going here, with the way that you're teasing the reader with whether or not they should continue. That's not something that I've seen in this fandom, so kudos to you for uniqueness. The descriptions are really lovely, and your way with words makes me interested, even though it does seem a little melodramatic. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it did stand out to me a bit.

Overall, an interesting beginning. Good luck in the future and nicely done! SPAG follows.

Cheers, dearie!

SPAG:

"...first enter the world there are" should have a comma after "world"

"...no fears, or knowledge..." no need for that comma

"...could stay that nice?" Not necessarily wrong, but the word "nice" kind of disrupts the tone that you've created. I would choose something a little more flowery, just to keep it consistent and pretty sounding. :)

"...obtained, in order..." no need for that comma

"...happy; If we could..." since it follows a semicolon, "if" should be lowercase

"...baby steps, into the awkward..." no need for that comma

"...than stop right..." should be "then"

"I am not saying all that..." Again, this kind of disrupts the style that you've created. I would either think about rephrasing this to make it a little more flowery, or just leave it out entirely.

"...not going to tell you" Unnecessary. You're telling the reader what they already know.

"...book yourself, you never know..." from "you" on should be a new sentence

"...flabbergasted in wonder over..." Awkard phrasing. Might want to consider rephrasing.

Thank you, Guest for your insightful review. I was just wondering on how you meant over-dramatic. Do you mean the character to be over-dramatic? If so then your right. That is who she is. Or do you mean my writing? Once again thank you for your review. Much appreciated. It is what I am looking for.

Pluses: you set mood well and your settings are detailed
Minuses: your spelling and grammar need work (although I suspect that you'll get a beta to fix that) and you're a tad overdramatic