Can you please update your stories? I'm sorry for the loss of your friend but would you ease release an update?

Update soon plz

When will be the next update?

Please update your story soon!

Is this a Harry Potter Ben 10 crossover or is it a Harry Potter Sabrina crossover?

Just flashed to the end of the story for a look at the last chapter, and I'm sorry. I didn't realize that's the situation. I'm sorry if my comments were harsh or too non-serious. May he Rest In Peace.

(Well, carp, nevermind. Just read the next chapter, and found it pretty dang good. I mean, I still think you should take my advice - obviously - but I think we're starting to get to the point where it's unnecessary. My advice only really would help out early on due to similarities to the Base show- if your starting to diverge now, then it's probably not as needed as one might have thought).

(Oh, and Sludgepuppy Harry. I gots to c Sludgepuppy Harry. Yay. I'm not using exclamation marks since I'm also starting to contemplate if Clayface removes the need for Stinkfly... I'm just going to assume the same difference between XLR8 and Fastrack, and Stinkfly is faster and weaker, but Clayface is slower and stronger... with added fire weakness).

(Anyways, thanks for the fic!)

So, I've got to chapter 13, where you ask for people's honest opinions, and comment that people's single biggest complaint is how people are comparing Harry to Ben, and claiming that their the same character.

To begin with, I think your sort of missing what people are feeling when people make those kind of comments. We can all see the differences you've made, and we can see all the explanations for how Harry's turned out the way you've wrote him. I don't think that response really gets at the underplaying issue, not do I think the people complaining really know what their complaining about other than a feeling their getting.

What I think everyone else is trying to say is that Harry in this fic, compared to many other Ben 10 Fics they've read, feels more like Ben than most other people's portrayals of the same character (at least in a crossover). We aren't trying to say that Harry can't be similar to Ben, it's just that the differences you made, to at least some of your audience, don't feel big enough to be a seperate character.

For instance: How you explain Harry's childlike behavior and how it relates to his Mature behavior is through his belief that Kids should be Kids, at least until they reach a scenario where they have to be serious. You go into explain that his opinions towards Gwen comes from the belief that she's gone too far to be "mature", and acts like Ben does towards her because of it.

This isn't bad, in fact in certain scenes this Core Concept to the character makes me appreciate the fic more. The problem comes in when you start using Ben's Dialogue in place of Original Dialogue, as it seems to break character, even if you have an explanation for it.

Example: If Harry insults Gwen for being too uptight when Ben does, what does it achieve? It could tell her where she's going wrong discreetly and give her a chance to be a kid, or it could devolve into him looking like a jerk by giving out a stream of meaningless insults like Ben does. A way to improve this scene would be to get him to goad her into a childish argument, before pointing out snarkily that she let her guard down and proved that even she could act like a kid sometimes. It fits with his character, isn't mature, and let's him get through his ideal; as long as you don't add in any meaningless or particularly rude insults, and keep it as a moment of mischief, you should be fine.

Now, that above example was actually something I personally had a problem with in regard to Gwen and Harry's interactions. He was disregarding her like Ben does (which Ben only does because he's dense in all ways), and doesn't seem to make any attempt to "help" her in any way to understand his viewpoint. He sometimes makes comments about it, but it was Max and her own Observations that allowed her to even get that understanding.

Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that you should go back over your work and make sure that Harry is staying in character. Writing everything out, without directly stealing lines, is probably the best way to do it. This is YOUR work, and we're here to read what YOUR writing, not what the show has already written, we've already watched that.

...

ONTO STUFF YOU DID GOOD! I personally thought your original ark was done really well, and to me really showed this portrayal of Harry better than any other chapter. Your OC character was great, the original history was fun, and the interactions held within was creative. I liked how Harry showed us how the thinks with his brain, rather than how in other chapters he seems to inherit Ben's "rush-in/impulsive" attitude. And it also got one of my favorite Aliens from the Original Series into the watch finally (yay)! (Slugepuppies are the best... I wonder if that guy and Harry will meet up for the wedding).

I also like how your messing with the original timeline a bit. Your going to have to be careful of Harry's level of expertise for each experience, and keep in mind which aliens he has (i wanna c slugepuppy), but I like the idea of shifting around what goes where on the timeline. Hopwfully you could even use that to do stuff that messes with arcs, like doing the Ghostfreak Escape Arc before the Clown Bad Guy, so that his clowns are originally Ghostfreaks to begin with (and really throws off the Clown Adventure, as Harry might not have Ben's fear of Clowns, and they would already be on the lookout for Supervillans due to the "Circus Performers").

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My vote for an episode is the Wedding Episode, while also having that be where Max has to reveal his Plumber Past... or just do that episode before the Wedding one

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Anyways, those were my personal thoughts. Hopefully I was able to a bit of insparation for the future!

Thanks for the fic!

I’m going to have to bench this story if only for the simple reason of it doing absolutely nothing. Besides it being Harry instead of Ben nothing seems to be different in the slightest. Looking at the chapter titles you’re just copy/pasting the original Ben 10 story. Why?

This should be about how things are different because Harry is... Harry. I much rather the first chapter be a prologue story in which you explain that Harry experienced the adventures in the original series and then the rest of the story explore how Harry with the motherfucking Omnitrix would change things in Hogwarts.

Love this story can’t wait for the next update, and may Kevin’s soul rest in paradise

Quite intresting story. I'm wating for next chapter

May Kevin's soul find the light.

Love this story it'd be nice to see gwen be more flirty or just more flirty scenes in general like say he turns into four arms and gwen blushes at his bigger bulge. And I really hope they don't go to Hogwarts I'd like it if they just stayed with grandpa

make one of his aliens a pureblood sith, giving him a very powerful connection to the force, and maybe have him make weapons later on when he's grey matter for when he's not an alien, maybe a lightsaber, a plasma or particle rifle, portable energy shield, and maybe some gauntlets that amplify kinetic energy so it makes your punches really powerful and maybe have them shoot repulsor beams like iron man.

Just beginning to read this story. The semblance between Harry and the Tennysons is appreciated, I'm glad you added Sabrina ... waiting to see how you mix the two types of witch (and the corresponding governments). Being Harry's grandson of Max, that means that he is probably descendant of Anodite ... waiting to see how that develops.
I like that although Harry acts like a child, he is serious about several things, like martial arts.