You tell them Lionel, bloody cheek they have. Jean's beauitiful just the way she is. Hope you write more :)

Aww, Lionel can be so sweet when he wants to be! I love this show! Thanks for writing!

Hello!

I love the fact that this is a nice, simple and short one shot.

One minor critique - you have relied on a lot on dialogue to carry the story through. Also, some words following dialogue were a little redundant:

Examples:

["Look at her, Would you want some one like this as a wife?!" Jean said loudly] You do not need to say 'Jean said loudly' By using the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence, you are telling your readers she is already speaking loudly.

Also, some minor grammatical errors -

[Jean jump at the sound of his voice.]

Should be jumped.

But other than that, I thought you did a solid job : )

Aquila