A bit vague but i like it.

This moved waaaaaaaaay too fast :/

Overall I understand the concept and you layed it out ok, but seriously lacked descriptive detail and dialogue. Any real feelings would take at least a few days to surface, let alone if you were a slave who dealt with pleasuring on a regular basis. His trust simply wouldn't extend to someone he doesn't know... *sigh*

Meh. Its not badly written, just lost me and well- if you write a plot at all, make sure it has some stock.

Awww loved it 3

You write well and put just the right punt

There's only one part of this that I really didn't enjoy but otherwise, I liked this.

Me Likey :D
I just have one thing to state, that is as much for you as it is for so many others here on fanfiction I know...
Andcient Egyptians didnt have slaves! They were a really obedient people by nature, especialy obedient to the king, however they had _VERY_ few slaves, which were mostly war prisoners, if any. Egyptians werent a cruel civilization or anything like that, and they didnt really practice slavery until the Romans came...
I just thought I would get this out there... trust me, I did enough research on ancient Egyptian history :))
Other than that, it was really cute and fluffy, and I like how you didnt have the lemon too detailed or too long, keeping this about the story, not the porn. Well done XD

Loved it! It's such a sweet story!

I really liked this. 3

good job

You know this is like my favorite pairing right?! Thank you muse;) haha anyway great job;) I loved the idea like mmmmmmmm yummy:) I like how Atem would do anything for Seth and the other way around:) love at first site, great job:) I loved it:P everything was awesome:)

-Forever keep writing;)

nice work enjoyed it very much :)

I loved your story; you managed to make it feel longer than it actually is, it has a "background" to the characters. I hope you will consider extending it, maybe a second part? In any case, it is very good as it is. Thank you for sharing.

loved this story! thank you! I love Seth and Jono stories hope there can be a second part of them.

This was very nice and so well written.

I'm glad they freed him. He will have friends and a lover.