| Reviews for Hard to Say Goodbye |
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Isa chapter 1 . 5/19/2013 Very cute story! I like the names and locations you picked for the Dorothies and the use of the Toto ghost. A! |
Gene Wirchenko chapter 1 . 5/19/2013 A nice vignette. Nothing "important" happens, but sometimes, nothing does. It does need a bit of editing. 1) "The two children with her who both looked to be around seven years old were a young girl with dark purple skin and long brown hair that was tied into a ponytail named Selva Chopper who was currently dressed in a white and blue dress, with black boots peeking out from under her dress. While the second child was a boy with dark green skin and brown hair named Warrick Chopper who was dressed in black pants and shirt, with white boots covering his feet, and both had dark brown eyes." We have a ponytail named Selva Chopper and some brown hair named Warrick Chopper. The problem is misplaced modifiers. 2) Some of the language is jarring. "hang out with" does not seem at all Ozian to me. I think that "spend time with" or "enjoy time with" would be better. 3) When would Ozma go back to see Toto? Wouldn't Toto know this and push harder for some company? |
Athena Goddess of the Wise chapter 1 . 5/7/2013 You don't know how happy I was to see a fic for my new favorite web comic, and this story certainty didn't disappoint! |