Oh, YES. Beatboxing Legion is frabjous.

Loved this story! Hilarious! I can't wait to read the extended version!

Why did you cut it?! I would have read many chapters of this story! It's brilliant!

Kasumi, you may not have heard me, but I had to keep muting to laugh at this. This just made me giggle, and after the convo with Sam about april fools, I couldn't help but read this. It's well written and entertaining, nice flow throughout and the dialogue tips the scale from making it funny, to fracking brilliant. Well done, babe, I am loving this and really hope you make it into something more.

EEEK!

Full version!
*goes*

This is great, btw :)

Hahaha, this was quite good. Thanks for the laughs.

This... was totally awesome!

Though I'm not particularly one for Shakarian, you do it well here. Also, the bringing up sex talk while arguing in front of the whoel crew? Perhaps a line crossed, but in a totally acceptable and hilarious way if the goal was to make them all super uncomfortable!

Nice stuff here! I need to go check out the AO3 version to see who pranked Mordin, I'm really curious. Everyone crammed into the vents got me to chuckle, as did most of Jack's tirade.

Initial impression: It's really good, really good. Very funny, especially when Shepard and Garrus are having their argument. You even include some of the more easliy forgettable members of the crew. I will have to check out the "uncut" version of this.

CONTENT: Kelly is scared of rodents? Is that actually canon? Everything else seems fairly close. Why Joker would make Legion start beatboxing, I don't know. MEETS.

CONVENTIONS: I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes. Did you have someone beta it, or are you just that good with English? Either way, well done. EXCEEDS.

FLUENCY: Everything is well put together, but you do tend to phrase things the same way. It works to tell the story. MEETS.

WORD CHOICE: You do a very good job of using the right words to get the story across. EXCEEDS.

ORGANIZATION: My biggest complaint is that you set your sights way above the limits imposed by the fic. It's a good story, and would probably be great without the challenge guidelines, but you clearly didn't pick something that was within those guidelines. MEETS, but close to approaching.

CHARACTERIZATION: Very few complaints with the tone of any of the characters. I don't buy Kelly being rodent-phobic, nor the beatboxing, or Joker dousing everyone with ice-cold water (turning on the sprinklers, I can see, just not that cold, because yowza). MEETS.

VOICE: Overall, the fic still does a very good job at keeping people reading through to the end. MEETS, almost exceeds.

Niiiiice. I actually thought for a while there that Miranda was secretly behind everything, but it was a good ending with those three.