I really lke skot. She reminds me ofmyself.

Gerard Colson, 18, Massachusetts. Darkest Desires. Placed 8th.

hey look i made it onto your profile

Decided to start reading this despite it being long over. I Loved the idea of the eleven tributes jumping, very creative and I really liked the character portrayed here, he seems pretty awesome to be honest :)

Here I am.. with some EXTREMELY late reviews, I apologize for that. But, I shall review now! May take a bit.. but I shall. I also forgot which chappie I left off on and I tried to review 'Fences' and Fanfiction was all like 'nooo' and I was like okay. But.. I am here! YESSSSSS

Ah, Isaac, he's all sad. He killed White then? I believe if I remember correctly.. anywho, he's trying and Brazen.. Brazen, dear.. Brazen. They are at a theater? I can see Brazen dying soon, truthfully. I mean.. just.. yeah. I mean.. like.. well.. haha, yeah. On a side note this arena is pretty cool.

Dang Gamemakers. They betta find each other. Eh, they probably will. Goodness, I feel horrible for not reviewing. Truthfully, I read it, just didn't review. But, I shall now. Sorry, man.

Iris.. Iris... you killed Avalon. She was the one trying to save Koder and.. I like how it's now his POV. Oh gosh, that's sad. Doesn't Daraeh dislike him? I mean.. gosh, my feels. The poor kid. I ship Ander and Mohair sort of.. but.. maybe it's just friendship. probably. IDK. Okay, okay

Well.. hmm.. I'd say Koder, Cloe, Isaac, Mohair, and Leta were the stand outs.. so basically all of them. hehe.

Dimanine's surprised me a bit, honestly. I thought she would make it a bit further but y'know! I finally figured out how to pronounce her name!.. I think XD/

Great job, I really enjoyed all of these details and emotions in it :)

I'm not hilariously late to review this, nope xD Apologies in advance for the not-so-spectacular review, since most of it is recaps and I can't really comment on anything being a surprise there or whatnot.

She's taking her new status as victor quite well following her time in the arena, all things considered. Naturally, Cloe's tired and still adjusting and is naturally affected by what she's witnessed, but she's not having a mental breakdown or turning to drink or drugs just yet and it doesn't look like the Capitol's going to go out of their way to make her life a misery either, so for a victor, she's doing well.

Not much to say for the recaps, but it's still funny how Alain's death is one of the most detailed in Cloe's thoughts, LMFAO. Oh, and of course Daraeh gets a special mention ;p I'm surprised that Rhoena didn't get an entire section of the chapter dedicated to her :)

By the way, you keep spelling 'forty' wrong. It doesn't have the letter 'u' in it.

What I like is that she's still retained some of her old self, but it goes nicely along with the strength that she's acquired during the Games. Yeah, I agree that it's nice to have a victor that can come back a stronger - well, kind of - person whose life hasn't been destroyed by the Games or who has been completely hardened by her experiences and can look forward to something good. I actually loved that scene with her family and how she chose to start afresh with Aryanna's family (y) I was expecting her to just stand up to her father but the addition with Aryanna's parents was brilliant and not cliche, so yeah, you get my approval for that ending.
And the ending line, yes, that sums up Cloe's development pretty nicely :)

- Immy

Forty chapters and now we're here at the epilogue 33

Cloe's more detached, especially before the recaps. She's still in shock, but at least she can hold it together and want to get it over with. She's not fighting to escape and retreat into herself like some would.

The recaps... wow, it's been a while. I feel like I'm rereading the story in a dream or something lol. I'd almost forgotten about Declan, wow.

I LOVE the ending scene you chose and the way it unfolded. Classically, she would have reunited with her parents, maybe even avoided her aunt and uncle because she lived and star-of-the-district Aryanna died. But nah, it wasn't typical at all. She went forward to the people she had hurt, reconciled with them, and left her harsh parents behind. WELL DONE. Fantastic writing and powerful emotions. Good luck in the future, Cloe.

And the best of luck to you as well, Jake! Happy writing! 333

Wow, well, this has been a long and fantastic Games.

I would say the fight itself was heavily skewed towards emotion over action, tbh I didn't actually realize how far it was into the fight until Fortune's POV so... yeah.

It sort of dawned on me, reading this, how much I actually liked Fortune at the end. His section here was the most well balanced of the three and his last words- wishing good luck to the girls, because they'll need it- were really great ok imma miss you Fortune

And then Cloe vs. Daraeh, heavily emotional but a lot of tension, a good finale overall. I'll miss Daraeh, though. I liked her a lot at the very beginning, went off her at the beginning of the Games, and started loving her again right at the end.

Cloe as Victor- You've been writing towards her for a while, actually, she and Aryanna had the best dynamic and the most complex storyline. But with the guilt she feels and the development she's gotten, it was a good choice. Congrats, Immy, you've got a victor! XD

Standout, Fortune for physical/emotional balance.

Yes, I'm happy!
Going into the Games, I was looking to the Careers for a Victor already. With my awful bias, I wanted Rhoena to win even though that was totally unrealistic and I knew it wasn't going to happen, and at certain points I also wanted Chip or Eden to come out on top.

Shocking death? I hardly remember any of them at this point... maybe Brazen's, because of the theatre, or Scout because I didn't see her dying at that point.

Favorite alliance: Scout and Rhoena or the cousins.

DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE
Looking back on the story and trying to be less biased... Mercury and Rhoena were my most loved.

Aryanna and Cloe's reunion stood out to me, as well as the reveal of the zombies (which included death but wasn't a death in itself you know?).

Happy writing 33

DUUUDE INTENSE

death comments yes?

Exactly who should have died here, really, so good decisions on your part Jake! Callista was going cynical and she was sick, it was her time to go. The fight between her and Fortune was impressive though, district partners pitted against each other in the end.

Taylor, yeah, she was coasting through the first part of the arena with Dash by her side, going to Rhoena developed her a fair amount but then she was just... idk hanging out for a while. This was really the only way I saw her going.

And Rhoena. I mean, I saw this coming too because seriously, she wasn't strong, she wouldn't have gotten far on her own. She's only come this far because of Taylor and formerly Scout. Yep, I loved her narration in the beginning, unfortunately the Games overpowered that. But she got stronger, which was impressive. Bye babe.

Standout? Fortune. Emotion and general death yknow?

WELL
when we didn't know the official victor I would have said Cloe for both lol guess im lucky

Happy writing!

Wow, poor Isaac. He's probably the one that my feelings for have had the biggest change- from detestation to liking, that's impressive. Another arena death, close to the end, I suppose the tributes just can't find each other as easily?

Well, they found each other in Rhoena's POV at least. Normally I'd be freaking out about the cliffhanger, but I've read this already and that was a while ago so nah it's just like yeah ok.

ew these reviews suck im sorry

standout? Daraeh, her emotions were strongest here and she doesn't seem as broken (quite) as Rhoena, and Isaac's POV was mainly action/death.

not answering the Top Three question because I know lol oops

Favorite tribute? Rhoena and Cloe, really, they are the emotional ones and Cloe's grown on me a lot. I loved Rho from the beginning but she hasn't done much to improve that either.

I didn't see Daraeh or Taylor coming this far, to be sure, and realistically Rhoena should be dead too. Callista's impressed me as well, fighting off withdrawal through sponsor gifts.

Happy writing!

It's been a great ride for Isaac and Eden, finally they were forced apart and that catalyst was what took down the alliance in the end.

This chapter was truly one of the most broken in terms of emotions. Isaac, whi was running, to Fortune determined but melancholy, to Callista hardened but shattering and then Cloe, totally destroyed by the arena.

Great emotion, however aside from that not much of a standout chapter and I'm trying to catch up soo...

Standout? Fortune, his POV had a weird mixture of action and reflection and it was cool.

UM
rhoena lol duh

Happy writing!

Great story, loved reading it.
BB

Cloe wanted it much more than Daraeh, it was plain. I really liked that you kept Fortune out of the final two.
I suppose the last POV was the most striking, but it was all a build up. Again, I really like how you incorporated more what was going around all the characters (how they were feeling physically, what they touched and saw) because it gave a much sharper visual than just hearing their inner thoughts.

The second part of these Games (final 10 down) was excellent. I think it was a little difficult to hit off (in terms of plot and characterisation) while there were too many characters in play, but later, it became really excellent.

Victor potential? Daraeh, Eden too had potential. Cloe of course and for a second I thought Taylor just might get lucky. The boys were less striking in this SYOT for some reason.
Who did I want? Well... The way things went, Cloe made the most sense and the story was all the better for it.

The most shocking death? I can't honestly say. There were zombies, and Chip's death felt a bit random (no grudge here ;D) but I guess Callista's was awesome because of the way she lost her strength while somehow gaining character.

Favorite alliance? A lot of things happened around Taylor and it's the most memorable one right now, so I'll stick to that one.

Particular moment? There was that part where the Careers got separated (I think Mercury was involved) because some fell through a trapdoor or something and I thought the whole scene was pretty great to give us an idea of how screwed up the arena was.
Okay this is vague, but I read that chapter at least two months ago.

I love how you described Pyat. He likes the games, yet he does have morals and knows that it is wrong. Doesn't want a rebellion, but would love to see president Snow taken down a peg. Very good job! It is realistic for someone who grew up in the capitol.

So it was Daraeh and not Taylor, damn. lol
Taylor deciding that Rhoena deserved it more was sweet and the way it was written was very believable. That part was also a great prelude to the battle.
Again, I think you balanced feelings (the awareness of what was going on around them) and thoughts very well. It kept the pace fast and the focus on the characters sharp.
Callista had a great death, I was actually smiling, because it doesn't feel like she lost. She's dead, I shouldn't smiling, but as storytelling goes, wonderful, Jake.

Cloe's desire to live overpowers her conscience even if the conscience is there. It's the same with Fortune, but in this story it wouldn't make sense for Fortune to win. For a long while I thought Daraeh had the biggest chance out of the non-Careers but at this stage it would be very ironic for her to win.

An excellent chapter

So here I was last time I was reading.

Isaac had done a full 180 and grown into his qualities by shedding his reckless, self-centered side, so it was only fair he would go. lol.
More seriously, in terms of plot, he was the logical choice and I enjoyed what you did with him. His part was very well written because there was a lot of feeling and just enough thinking to make it real and show how far he'd come.

Daraeh... Well here go my hopes she may become the victor. Her part was well written though and it gave a tragic, more *next door girl* aspect to her character. She tried to be a Career, at least in terms of attitude, but she couldn't be.
At this point, I suspect Cloe will win. She had more screen time than the other remaining tributes (also because everytime Aryanna appeared, the POV involved Cloe indirectly), a great arc and she seems a reviewer favorite.
I've never become attached to her, because as I said many times, I don't relate to her, but, as a character, she's solid and real and if she wins, considering how her newfound strength also came with a certain hollowing out, she'll incarnate the darkness of the games in a very striking way. It wouldn't be a happy ending for me to see Cloe win, but it would be a great ending at this stage.

I loved Rhoena's POV and the way Taylor didn't kill Callista. The Games should be all about people thinking about killing and then realizing it's hard and that only a few of them can do it. The tension here was great and seeing Callista like this was very bittersweet. She has been a very interesting character but now that we've seen her vulnerable side (in which she still kept a fair bit of dignity), her arc is done and she'll be among those who'll die next.

There's always someone like Rhoena in the final group. Someone who stayed away from the action. I actually didn't see Fortune coming this far. I always love his point of views, stylistically, but the character himself wasn't that much more special than the other careers.

Think: Cloe, Fortune and Taylor (since she can now fight).
Want: Callista, Taylor and Daraeh because it would be unpredictable. lol