Why does it says complete? It doesn't look finished to me.

I want more!

That mannequin head Mary was stabbing in the game, came back to get revenge.

Wait... What. What?! WHAT?! What just happened? Did they DIE?! Soooo confused... Ah well. Fantastic writing, and great job incorporating parts and lines from the game into the story. I hope to see more of this one day... I assume you haven't written a sequel, since I didn't see one in your profile. Ah well.
Wonderful writing, and the plot twist ending really clinched it!
Ciao for now,
DragonSiren7

And here I thought it was only going to be humor...I should have read the genre.
This is great! There should be a sequel for this! Oh! What if it was all just a nightmare right before the day itself?!
...Yeah...
Okay, bye
Afiction

0-0 Oh my
Excellent writing (as always :3)!
Set up a lovely parallel to the actual story, what with Mary being slightly off her rocker due to her father not exactly being there for her. Also, reignited my fear of driving XD

Ooooh! You should... write a sequel to this... when they're in the hospital/comatose/in-an-imaginary-world together... and... I don't know what happens after that. But this is pretty cool, and I like your characterization of Ib, especially! How interesting it is to see her from Mary's point of view!

I think was supposed to be a ones got but you should TOTALLY CONTINUE IT! If you need any ideas just come to me! :D

"I don't know some of these words."
I. GET. IT!

Weird but great! You've even used their lines on the game well. I dunno if the story is really finished but in think you should continue to finish this until they are out of "deep abyss boulevard"

Although I'm not much of a fan of Mary, I thought it was hilarious when she pulled the doll out of her bag and freaked Garry out with it xD Neat story, so far!