Me encantó.. . Será que vas a seguir escribiendo esta genial

Hello Alex :)

I've just stumbled upon your story and finished reading the first chapter. I must say that I find the idea interesting. Had the anime continued, this would've made for a perfect plot.

That said, I find the writing style pretty heavy. I'm not very fond of the way you wrote the dialogs and structured the paragraphs. Believe me, I'm really intrigued by the plot. But the writing is kinda hard to digest.

This is not your fault though. It's just that I'm very picky and demanding when it comes to such things. I like clean and concise sentences and yours are on the longer side.

I hope you don't take this personally. When I make criticisms, I always try to be constructive and moderate. I keep the author's ability to learn and improve in mind and try to give guidance where appropriate. In your case, I know English is not your first language so I completely understand if you sometimes struggle to formulate things properly. If you ever plan on writing again or just want some advice, don't hesitate to PM me :)

On this note, I'll go read the rest of the story. I wish you a lovely day :)

I like the story so far. The only thing that's kind of getting to me is the punctuation and organisation. I think you need to be a little more careful with punctuation (commas, periods, exclamation marks etc.) and organisation of paragraphs (it's hard to follow with different dialogues hidden inside the paragraphs). Other than that, I think it's really good! You capture the characters really well :)

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I love this, it killed me really but awesome jobb

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

P.S it made me cry...

it's

This was a terrific story-really enjoyed reading it.

Best story I've read so far

A good wrap-up. I like how you ended it like the Anime... :)

Yeah.. I like this chapter.. I still beleive that Ayano would be that self-sacrificing. She would save Tsui Ling. Be happy for Kazuma and Tsui LIng if she does revive and Kazuma chose his old love.

Ayano has that big of a heart... That is why she is my HERO :) - fangirling :)

Ayano and Kazuma ...this lovey dovey? No way :)... A tsundere.. will always be a Tsundere...

Kazuma don't deserve Ayano anyways. :) But, I am on my Ayano trail :)

I love the heroic Ayano.. All for love and protection of her friends and always on the side of Justice.

She is my Super-hero :)

Hello.. I have forgotten the story.. So I am re-reading and giving my comments. If a repeat.. sorry..

Like how you kept the comedic, light aspect between the TRIO...

I am still as always an AYANO Fan...

:)

you decided to do your own second season not bad