I am happy this story is still alive. :)

LOL, why get dressed? I would have gone to the screen in my undies, because, hey, is Hackett going to do anything to me, at this time? Also, why not answer him in his office? Why go down to the CIC?

With Lance's voice, Hackett just wouldn't say "bloody".

I hate to say it, but there are many missing commas. Though, the spelling does check out.

Thank you so much for being of the very few, if not the only, author who takes the fact that Joker and others need to sleep.

"any of own"? Use Ctrl F to find the errors I point out. :)

While your punctuation needs help, I do LOVE your style of justifying what happens in ME3, such how Shepard might truly talk the students into remaining on defensive, like Jack wants them to.

Glad to have you back! :)

Great to see you working on this again. Super-awesome plot reorg via getting the Primarch involved in large scale mission planning and Turian troops involved as well. Solid alliance building for sure. Sorry to hear that RL is an issue for you as it is for so many of us. Hoping to see more of this excellent story soon and thankful for your hard work on it so far.

Mek? You mean "mech", don't you?

Don't forget; you need a comma after each quote.

The Geth fleet took out much of the Citadel Defense Fleet. It was the Alliance Fleet that took Sovereign out, along with the remnants of the Citadel Defense Fleet.

"In all my years, there is no such thing as 'luck'."

Do you think that Cerberus would get along with Weyland-Yutani?

Chloe did send Garrus some chocolate, that should say something.

I just hated how in ME3, the ME1 and ME2 characters never talk to each other; e.g. Ashley NEVER speaks to either Jack or Miranda, or in your case, Thane.

Hmm, now that's an idea where ME3 could have made better use of Kelly; if Maleshep made her pregnant, Cerberus could have tried kidnapping her.

"which is a big..." What?

Too few women care about what their man thinks or feels.

I'm still loving the story. Don't disappear or anything.

All of the characters are OOC here. Hackett, Shepard, TIM.

Ah, so lovely; one thing I HATED about ME3 is how the Normandy's new Thanix cannons NEVER see action, despite there are several instances in the game's story where they would have been VERY helpful. Rescuing Grissom Academy is one of them.

Ain't it sad how Samantha Traynor steals Liara's fire in ME3 at least twice?
Thanks for having them work together instead.

Yeah, Cerberus murdering a student, wounding another, and having a third dragged with NO WAY to rescue him was 100% nonsense. Thanks for changing that. :)

"Bloody"? "Arse"? Does Jack have a British accent now?

Harvesting Harvesters makes no sense, as the Reapers are only supposed to harvest sentient creatures.

"obviation" might be the wrong word to use.

Please tell me you aren't going to include the nonsensical intervention of Cerberus on Tuchanka.

Ain't it sad that we Humans are made into the weakest form of Reaper-unit?

I would so want to impregnate Traynor.

I still say it would be nice to have Chloe Michel on the Normandy as well; ME3 forces you to choose one or the other; why not both? Especially for Garrus' sake. :)

Your creativity with dialogue is awesome, but the lack of commas really throws me off.

I'm rather glad you made Shepard the praying sort.

For the safety of both Kelly and the child, Kelly needs to be brought on board again.

Harbour? Ah, you must live in the UK or Australia. :)

Remember; when I point out an anomaly in your typing, use Ctrl F to find where I am pointing at. :)

"bonded far closer than..." what?

It's Leng, not Lang.

As to the spy, which I suspect is Maya Brooks, PLEASE do what no other writers seem to do and that is show mercy.

You killed Rupert Gardner?! NNOOOO!
Who was Burt Jenson?

I do have to wonder; how did TIM know about the Collector trap?

It might've been better if Shepard was simply battered and comatose, but still alive, back when the SR-1 was destroyed.

More commas are needed. :) Other than that, spelling is good, the dialogue is well written, and the action is still thrilling. I am feeling anxious for Kelly though, and Shepard's love-life.

Ah yes, sync-kills; makes me wish there was a co-op story where we had two Shepard, with another player playing as the other Shepard.

Razial, thank you so much for having Shepard ask the questions he should have asked in ME3 to fill in those plot-holes.

I hate to admit it, but the conversation between TIM and Shepard needs a few punctuation corrections.

Dammit, I was hoping Ashley would saved from that stupid plot-inconvenience of being in the hospital due to injuries from Eva.

I so wished I could delete the dreams, or at least change them, so that we could see, say, Kaiden, getting destroyed by the Reapers.

I so wanted to violently shake Traynor up and fiercely demanding, "What have you Alliance bastards done to MY SHIP?!"
Seriously, I HATED to overhaul results. The ship was a fricken' mess!

Dammit, You mean that you brought back Ken and Gabby, but there is no sign of Rupert Gardner, the cook/janitor?

Ah man, does the young Dr. Chloe Michel not exist in this story?
Chakwas' niece? It's a small galaxy. :)
I think the Citadel would have so many wounded that Ashley would have to share her hospital-room.

Udina being Councilor felt like such a huge ret-con.
Another thing I hate about Ashley being scripted to be in the hospital for the first 40% of the game is that she's not here in the Council chambers; I would have LOVED to see fill the "I told you so" balloon.

Let me reemphasize your need to add punctuation to this story; it's awesomely written, but if I had $100 for every comma this doesn't have that it needs...

Boy, I sure HATED how in ME3, any rant that Shepard is entitled to gets brushed off unheard. Thank you so much for changing that.

Remember in ME2, finding another Prothean beacon, that shows you the same message all over again, only this time with the Collectors?

"It may be the only hope", not "it maybe the only hope". :)

Another thing I HATE about ME3, is how the plot magically changes from "defeating the Reapers" to "Retaking Earth".

Please make Tevos a smarter and more honest person than she was in the game.

PLEASE, don't split Shepard from his other lovers.
Is Shepard so stupid he can't do math? For Kelly to be this close to birth, it's obvious there could only be one man for the father, unless she is very promiscuous.

PLEASE don't let this story die, and please, bring Kelly back on the ship. I want her to give birth on the Normandy!

I so utterly HATED this part of the story, especially in my first playthrough, as it was then that I realized ME's new writers decided to turn the war into a threeway.

Another that ME3 seriously lacked; ME1 characters talking to/about ME2 characters; example, I wish Jack and Ashley had spoken to each other.

Don't be too hard on Ashley; it's not her fault she got a new writer and designer for the events of ME3. Her original creator described her ME1/ME2 self as a "soldier who happens to be an attractive female", and then said about her ME3 version as, "a sex-doll with a gun."

Speaking of Cerberus' horrible past, I think a cool little plot-twist would be having Tela Vasir show up alive. And then you reveal how Shepard had showed her mercy.

That's twice I've seen this error; It's "Omni-tool", not "omi-tool".

Overall, ME3 really does rob the player of choices they should have had like they would have in the previous two games.

"pencil pushers", not "pencil pushes". ;)
"en route", not "on root". 'Tis French for you. :)

The way you portrayed the kid is so much more realistic; the way the game portrayed him made you seriously question whether he even existed.

"Godspeed" is a single word. :)
Boy, I sure hope you didn't follow Bioware's choice to kill off Emily Wong via a stupid Twitter post. She would have been so much better than Diana Allers.

Ever watched Dr. Strangelove?
Yay! The marine NPCs were saved! :)

PLEASE bring Kelly back to the Normandy; the Medbay would be a good place for her, as she can comfort any wounded/injured refugees they get on the Normandy.

Chloe Michel would make a nice addition the ship as well. The more the merrier.

It would be so nice for Shepard and Ashley to be lovers again; a man with many wives. ;)

You say "lift" instead of "elevator"; are from Australia or the UK?

Don't forget that the Normandy has advanced weapons of it's own; the Thanix-cannons are basically "mini-Reaper" blasters.

PLEASE tell me Ashley rejoins the Normandy.

The existence of the Shepard clone confirms that Ashley has every right to be suspicious.

Whenever I point out an error, use Ctrl F to find it and see for yourself. :)
"Ma'am" , not "Mam".

I, for one, wish that once EDI got a hold of EVA's body, that she would reinstall skin and hair.

"Pour in", not "pore in". :)

"There is only way"?

Your scene of Shepard and the Admiralty is SO MUCH BETTER than what ME3 coughed up.

If you are going to be writing a battle scene, PLEASE do include the "other" Reaper units, like Abominations, Scions, and Praetorians.

Awesome so far. :)

What does OS mean?

PLEASE don't allow Kai Leng to outlive his welcome the way he does in ME3.

Damn Bioware for not letting Jack rejoin my team for ME3.

James Vega has by far the worst "character entrance" of the Original Trilogy.

PLEASE, make Kelly and Shepard more than just friends-with-benefits.
He did save her life from certain death, after all. :)

"Underwear" is too ambiguous; what kind does she wear? :)
Shepard should tell Kelly that growing old alone-and-childless is NOT fun, contrary to feminist propaganda.

As a man who knows how to charm chicks, why doesn't he have anything going with Jack? They too would make a great couple.

Please, please, PLEASE, hear my plea and don't abandon this story.

Cool

Interesting chapter. Huge chunk of material. Mostly well done but there are some ongoing spelling issues "necessary" is often misspelled. I can't find examples right now but you may want to double check this a bit. In future I'd encourage somewhat shorter chapters as I think you do better with them than these mega-chapters but you've traveled a lot of material here and given a great deal of insight into your thoughts on the characters and their reactions. Thanks for your obvious hard work on this, looking forward to the next installment.