yes sir that was very cheesy

hisoka seems pretty ooc but still enjoying the story :)

gay vampire that sparkles lol

seems promising though, if i were hisoka i would question what ut is that she knows but aye lesgo im ready for another adventure

In all honesty I don't see why you want to rewrite this story. I think it's perfect the way it is

Both of our hearts were cut in half, we’re still alive, and were given each a half, because SCIENCE/MEDICAL REASONS!

Her feeling feel a little rushed but the story overall is still good.

I love this so much, and how you write Hisoka! 3 Honestly if I were ever to be given magic or any power that could make clow cards work you sure as shit better believe I will be doing that, probably nothing else lol XD 3

In my opinion, it would be better if you wrote the story in your character POV because it is much easier and the readers could relate to it as they read the character thoughts whereas the third person reminds me of any narrative book I had read at school, poetry or Shakespeare.

Although, chose what makes you feel comfortable and don't pressure yourself too much. The whole point of writing is to enjoy yourself. I'm saying that as a fellow writer.

Love itZ

lucky girl
i'm jealous

AT FIRST I WAS LIKE WHAT AND THEN I WAS LIKE OH IT'S THIS FANFIC

And then I got really emotionally confused and conflicted but I still love it and want more update soon please~

I hate Illumi more now so this really made me emotionally confused and distraught at the end there lol keep it up!

Fucking Edward XD

I love you story it's the greatest one i eber read (but GET YOUR BUTT TO WORK I WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER)

Uh isn't the 2011 version the more accurate one cause 1999 is full of filler and inaccuracies right...