Well that was hauntingly beautiful!

Dear Tom Hilts, This is a beautiful story, written with great attention to detail, without resorting to purple prose. I like the idea of your examining things from the POV of Maximus' family. There are a few tiny errors: in the third sentence, you have written: "...a richly looking man dressed in royal white clothing..." That should be either "a rich-looking man," or "a richly-dressed man in royal white clothing." In the line about the birds of prey, you used the word "not" in such a way as to be contradictory; it reads as if the birds were *not* silent, and of course you meant to say that they were. And toward the end of the tale, when Maximus' wife says, "Come home to me Maximus," there should be a comma placed between the words "me" and "Maximus." As I said, these are tiny errors, but they are still errors. Otherwise, the story is flawless, and a delight to read. I found the idea of Maximus' young son having a premonition about his father's death to be intriguing, and you have done a good job of portraying it. Thanks for writing and posting this. Sincerely, Darkover

I am sorry "E" and "Dianna" but sometimes I just write like that, I thinks its a curse... :D

Congratulations, you wrote a story that is more tragic than the canon. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner.

sniff, sniff, Gee thanks now I am more sad! I liked it though! I like the way you tell it.