I'm not familiar with your fandom, so I can't comment on any sort of canon issues or characterisation, sorry :)

This is pretty solid verse, I think only let down by a tendency to drift into cliche ("breaking my heart" "I don't know if I can let go".) I felt that perhaps you were a little constrained by the verse form that you chose? Some of the rhymes seemed slightly contrived, so I'm wondering if you could make better if you weren't trying to shoehorn rhymes in where they sometimes don't belong.

I really love the "indent" line, that was unique and clever.

There was one point in particular where I didn't actually understand what you meant:

"My shaking palms
Don't hide
The pain you feel inside"

I'm not sure of the connection between the mother's shaking palms ("hands" is probably more correct anyway) and the pain her child feels? This could just be me being dense.

Anyway, thank you for writing x