What the fuck did I just read

Wait what?!

While the writing quality of your story is good in terms of spelling only, please note this part of the Content Guidelines:

"Please note FanFiction does not accept explicit content, Fiction Rating: MA, and the rating is only presented for reference."

Please remove all of the detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature in this story if you want it to remain at this site, or upload it to a site where "Fiction MA" content is allowed like Archive Of Our Own.

It was so good that I literally cried when oncie opened the door with heartbreak

I-I ...NO words. Feeling shaken up, I don't know anymore...

not enough anal penetration

Wow.

That was a bit overwhelming.

At least I see we have someone here that knows how to type/spell correctly. Don't leave off the punctuation permitted as well. A!

But seriously. Gotta love the classics?

Touching towards the end there. But we're not too different people. Aye, aye, aye! Don't let my heedless frustration bother you. I like how this turned out.

I guess I wanted my "other self's" girls? Unless a few dudes came here for some eye candy as well? Sharp teeth, long tongue... Why do I bother anymore...?

Nice, nice, though. Good job on this. I don't care how old it is. I left a comment on it anyway.

Signature,
The Greed-ler
From the Thneed Corporation

(P.S. Don't forget to buy a thneed for only $3.48!)

Damn. This played with my emotions; and not just in the sexual way.

OK THEN. I JUST...
My friend recommended this, AND WHAT IN HELL, MAN. I JUST. I CAN'T.
I need to hug Oncie and cry, what the FUCK. Augh, I'm sorry, this is an amazing story, but the ending threw me off a cliff of feels.

Wow. That ending was a twist I did not see coming.

Woah...that was intense.

Positive: I like how you describe the Once Ler as a nerdy teen, and I also liked the relationship between him and I at the beginning of the story.

Negative: I wasn't the biggest fan of the ending with the Once Ler busting in. I assumed it would be Once Ler AND Greedler at different times of the story, but not at the same time.

Grade: B

... The feels! You should continue this!

OH MY GOD, MY FEELINGS! This was so interesting! XD

Intresting. Though it was difficult to read. Maybe a format problem on one of our ends.

Omg u should really continue this !