So sad but thanks for the read

Very believable! This totally fits in with what happened on Orchid Lane and what Lisbon's thinking is. I'd like to hear more! Very deep, tragic stuff in the offing.

I ink this is a good start go for the gold babie ;)

I think this could be really great as a longer story. I want to see Lisbon develop, struggle with her feelings, and maybe even make hard choices where she denies Jane? That would be different from a lot of stories where she capitulates to Jane's every wish. What if, because she realizes her feelings, she becomes stronger for it instead of weaker? Just my thoughts. But by all means, please make this a multi chap!

That's totally how I saw Lisbon during last episode. Hurt and love was written all over her face, there is no way she can't deny it anymore - to her and to others (mostly, Jane). And I truly wish that Jane had the oppotunity to prove her wrong and to prove himself caring about her. I do think he trusts her and cares about her, but I can totally understand why she doesnt' get it...because Jane's behavior doesn't allow her to. I wish that Jane would learn his lesson, with the Loreleï fiasco and its impact on Lisbon.

If you write a longer story about it, I'll be glad to read it. If you don"t and come up with another story, I'll be glad to read it too !

That's exactly what could be seen on Lisbon's face. Well done.

I hope you think about enlarging this to a longer story. Mostly, bacause I'm the die hard give-me-a-happy-ending kind, but also because you had Lisbon discribed really good.
As for constructive criticism: I'm sorry, I'd really like to help you with that but I can't criticize anything. It was sad, but this episode "deserved" something sad. The part I liked the most was the whole paragraph where Lisbon started crying about all the things lost and gone wrong-and about Jane, of course. And the last two sentences really sumed it up.

Awesome episode tag! Very well written!

Hello AlwaysACritic, you did a really nice job with your first fanfiction piece. It was well written and intriguing to me because I was saddened by the episode but didn't really know exactly why. You nailed it for me. The last 2 paragraphs of your story just lay it all out there - and I guess it was hard to acknowledge that Jane is really that broken. But I think you are right. To me, this fanfiction stands alone, and I think you could leave it here. Having said that, I do not want to discourage you from writing. I would be very glad to read any of your future projects whatever they are about. Thanks for sharing your work.

Great story for a first one. I think you should do another one :D

an interesting take. I'd like to see more.

wow...all i can say!

Wow, great work. Please continue this story

I think you hit the nail on the head. This is completely how I feel right now. Jane has a lot to make up for if he still wants Lisbon on his side. You write really well. I'll be posting my first Mentalist fanfic too! Thanks!

That was so sad but very well written