Oh my god. This story has gone so far into the deep end that ... it's indescribably bad.

First of all... rape. Like why? What even is the point? Why are you so incompetent that you feel the need to use rape to provoke an emotional response? It's pathetic and terrible. It's also comical. I facepalmed so hard at it.

This is dragonball. It does not need rape. Rape is a serious matter, and should not be used as a crutch for fanfiction writers who cannot write an engaging story otherwise. Don't use it. A person reading a dragonball fanfiction is not going to want to read about a girl being raped and her friends crying about it.

And now... dampeners and that magical shock thing that knocked them out.

They don't exist. They are stupid. They make the story stupid. You can't just put a magical handcuff on a world destroying super-saiyan. Such things do not exist, and makes no sense.

Neither do magical shock things. The last thing you want is for your reader to think that you could just beat Frieza by zapping him with some gun.

Finally, your A/N. You are being immature. You are acting like a chuuni kid, who does something dumb then cries out loud, "I'm so EVILLLL".

That is fine when you are in the 3rd grade. That is even fine at home with your family and friends. That is not ok when you are writing.

And with that. I'm done. Your story have shown so much immaturity and stupidity that it cannot be tolerated.

Holy. I can't believe you actually tried to justify your bullshit here. You can't. You don't appreciate being told you are an idiot for Gohan not blowing up the stadium? Sorry, but you are an idiot. And your fucking attempt at justification makes you even more so.

If you tried to claim that it was just for the purpose of drama, I would only have said that you've completely ruined the internal logic of your story with your need for drama. Now that you've actually tried to claim that it is logical, there is absolutely no doubt that you are an arrogant, self-justifying idiot who can't admit your own fault.

I don't care about how "relative", "emotional", or "unpredictable" you try to make ki out to be. It isn't. That's just your dumb justification that makes no sense. None of these allows Videl to come close to Gohan. None of it. Your bullshit with 150kg weight-lifting is hilarious. Yeah, you might not be able to lift 150kg, but stop trying to strawman here. Becoming weaker is fine. But that isn't what is happening here. This is becoming human level weak. A weightlifter after 5 years would still be able to lift 100 kg no problem. Now, you are trying to make it so he can't lift 0.000001 kg. You are trying to make it so that a person who could have blown up a planet (literally) can't beat an 11 year old girl who had been training for a bit.

You are wrong. Accept it. You absolutely cannot argue this.

The nightmare is kind of silly and overdone.

The tournament? Sorry, but the idea that any of the contestant can hurt him is absolutely ridiculous. I'm not just talking about Videl here. None of the others should be able to touch him.

And there was no way Videl, who had no Ki training beforehand, could be anywhere close to touching Gohan. I'm not sure you understand just how strong Gohan is (even in your story).

He beat Cui. Cui is equal to Vegeta when he came to the planet. At that time, Vegeta can blow up a planet. And you are telling me that an 11 year old Videl can match that? Are you saying she is tens of time stronger than Demon King Piccolo? And Master Roshi, who trained for hundreds of years? She is a barely trained young girl, who had no Ki training ever beforehand.

This doesn't work. You can't do this. By doing this, you are devaluing every single thing that has happened beforehand.

Once again, you can't just make whatever you want happen. Not when it completely goes against logic.

Stop your teehee in the middle of the story. What are you pretending to be?

Also, the excuse for Krillin not to enter the tournament is weak. Don't need the money? Why not? And why wouldn't piccolo and Krillin compete anyways for fun? They'd get to fight each other, and show the world some actual strength.

Like honestly, it's obvious that it is just plot making them not to compete so Satan could be World Champion. Sorry, but plot making decisions for characters is really, really stupid. You want to maintain a semblance of suspension of disbelief, and when your reader realizes that the characters aren't behaving as characters, but rather as the plot demands, the story sucks.

Also, they didn't revive Roshi? It's been multiple years already. Why haven't they? You can't just write out a character like that just because he is no use to you or you don't like him. This once again goes back to plot making decisions. There is absolutely no way the Z-fighters would just leave Roshi dead.

Ok, first of all, "mating bond" is a fanfic concept (and generally done very very badly and stupidly). Whoever said that Bulma would die is an utter retard.

Second of all, math. Percentages. Multipliers. Please, for god's sake, learn how they work. Or... Don't use power levels.

If you are going to use power levels, learn basic math.

If 8 000 000 is 1%, 50% is not 10 000 000, and 100% is not 12 000 000. Kai-o-ken is also a multiplier. So Kai-o-ken times 20 is 20 x power level.

Super saiyan is a 50x multiplier.

Goku's power at super saiyan was 150 000 000. Frieza's 1% power was 1.2 million, and 100% power is 120 million. This is in canon. You do not have to follow this, but under no circumstance can 1% of 12 000 000 be 8 000 000.

Scared to death of his raw power? What? That's so dumb. Why wouldn't he train or fight? He almost died because he didn't have training, and because he wasn't strong enough?

I mean, it might make more sense if he said that his mother won't let him? But the excuse you gave is retarded. It's utterly unbelievable.

I mean, it's going to lead to some dumb and unnecessary angst about how he will never fight again but he needs to, and eventually, he will "learn" that he will need to control his power. But that is just so dumb. It's like you just read some dumb story where this happened and decided that you must have this shit in your own story, regardless of how silly and out of context it is.

Like, why do you feel like this "character arc" is at all fun or necessary? What does it do other than waste time with a trite and overused cliche?

Don't add in rape or threat of rape. It's really childish to do so. Dragonball do not deal with that subject.

Stop with the A/N in the middle of the story, or the Muahahahahahahha. Seriously, try to have some professionalism.

cool story keep on the good work :) amazing story

Ah, I'm disappointed this story ended as a wip, but it was a good point to end really with Cell gone and everyone dealing with the aftermath, so no cliffhangers.

Anyways, I wanted to say I enjoyed where you went with this. It was truly an AU with unpredictable twists that actually made you care what would happen next.

I don't get why Gohan fans can't handle stories where he isn't the strongest one ever or god forbid the stories where he may not like fighting all that much. You would think fans would be more open to that aspect of Gohan's character considering that in canon Gohan literally dropped fighting in favor of being a scholar at the first opportunity he could get.

But in this story I was rooting for Gohan to find the will to fight again. In this story it didn't feel like Gohan hated fighting, in fact the opposite. But he was just too traumatized and scared of what fighting would bring so studying was just the default alternative. I liked where you were going with the coma...I'd like to imagine that once Gohan would come out of the coma he'd be more open to at least training so that he wouldn't get out of control. And Videl is at a level where she'd be able to match pace with him as a training partner, and then possibly more in the relationship department.

I didn't mind most of the sex stuff, though with two exceptions, I really had to push myself to read this fact past that scene where Vegeta was about to rape 18. If that had gotten any farther than it did I would have had to quit. I really didn't see the point of the scene for either character.

Secondly, I was kinda squicked over Krillen having sex with a 15 year old Peasa. It wasn't until much later that you explained that Saiyan's matured faster than humans, so I couldn't help but think that Krillen was having sex with someone young enough to be his daughter.

Speaking of Peasa, I'm soooooo curious about who the heck her lifemate was supposed to be. One of the sad things about the fic ending as a wip.

And speaking of Krillen, I like that he is someone who can still hang with the heavy hitters. And the dynamic between him and Vegeta was good. It makes sense that Krillen would be helped by training with someone who constantly tries to surpass his limitations like Vegeta. I've never thought of that or read anything like that, but it was really brilliant.

Anyways, this is really really long and I have no idea if anyone is still around to read this, but just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the fic while it lasted. Thanks!

story is stupid dumb lame than anything else in the dictionary why you created this I will never know just what you know the way you made gohan i hate him he's weaK pathetic lazy and dumb I hate it I hate him & I get your story

Shien was kami

Lack of Gohan makes for a non-enjoyable story so far. Its kinda sad, considering this is supposed to be a Gohan/Videl story.

I am very fustrated with this fanfiction... Gohan was mentioned like less than five percent of this fic as well as Videl I got through 39 chapters of this fict and i must say though its a very interesting story change your summary and main characters because this has nothing really much to do eith gohan and videl though your created character was interesting to say the least you just killed it for me making gohan a pathetic weakling with no inspiration i wouldn't have minded if in the cell saga you have at least made him what the original creater had made him which was a bad azz...im really sorry if im ranting its a very creative piece of work but somewhat bashing my favorite character when the summary n main characters in this fanfiction appeared less than anybody else just got me pissed off not really even a character build up might as well change your characters to vegeta bulma krillen and ooc

Great chapter