A shame you gave up writing :(

Your deviantart is even deactivated. Never give up on dreams, but also don’t be Drowned by them!

Let me know if u continue, ill give it a read ;p the reviews are good

Does the clone wars happen?

Enjoyed the chapter.

The slaves on Ryloth isn't that hard to believe. During the Atlantic slave trade, It wasn't just European/American colonists going into Africa and rounding up slaves. They instead traded rum, guns, and manufactured goods to African kings for slaves, they had little reason to hesitated because slavery wasn't as controversial as it is today. So I thought the inclusion of slavery as a dark theme was handled really well in this story so far.

I did not like how Rosalie was able to use the force to find the slaves. If they really were reaching out with the force, why were the actual Jedi unable to hear their pleas? The Jedi just don't give the title of master to anyone.

Great chapter. To me this is the best Star Wars fanfic I have ever read.

I'm starting to really like this story

Or, you can be fearless if you have no regard for your own life or personal safety. It's called "not giving a fuck"

Yah, I too would really love it if you keeper Aayla. I've always liked her better the Vos and I personally thing Aayla is the perfect friend for a a character like Rose.

LOVE the new first chapter. But if it wouldn't be to much do you think you could keep Aayla?

Positive side:
I really like this fanfic. I think it and the idea in general has great potential. One of my favorite things about this story is that the protagonist befriends Aayla Secura and restores something that was missing from her life. I also really like the charecter that you gave Aayla and that at the same time you stayed true to her serious side when it came to that. I was actually planning on doing a fanfic like that myself before I discovered your fanfic but couldn't find the right kind of story until I found yours, thank God. I also like Rosalie, I think she's a great protagonist and i think a female protagonist who is in her late teens is actually a perfect charecter for a story like this. I also like the idea that she knows the fate of the Galaxy and the many details, which would make her a valuable target. I also like the idea of a charecter undermining the protagonist and she stands up to her and the ends makes peace. And I also like the fact that she shares with Yoda about the truth.

Negative side (no insults, only meaning to help):
Above everything else I think you need to do more work on the story itself, I think you have the right idea and the story has potential, but I think it needs a lot more work. I also think you need to work on your action sequences, I was kinda having a hard time with visualizing the scenes, the only action scene that I've actually managed to read well was the bike chase with Sing. I also think your Star Wars time line order is off, but I can tolerate that, just as long as the story is really good. I also think you shouldn't have the Star Wars Galaxy co-exist in the same universe with a planet were it all exists in fiction. I think it should all be separate universes. Another thing I don't like is how you did Yoda's pov, I think if you do tell the story from Yoda's perspective then you should have him tell it in his actual manner of speech.

Well that's my review, if there is anything I forgot I'll see if I can edit. Keep up the good work. And may The Force be with you.

how high is her ,midicorian count? Anakins is over 20,000, and Yoda's is 17,000.

It's painful, but sometimes a rewrite is the only way the author can go forward with the story.
But it's the sign of a creative's passion when they are willing to go through it again from scratch.
Why write in 1st pov? I always find it jarring reading 1st pov. I tend to struggle to get into the story. Anycase, I liked the story and I liked the growth your characters went through. It felt at times a bit too chatty which compromised that ethereal mystique of the Force at times. I'll keep tabs and wait for a rewrite. Should be very interesting to see what you do going forward now that you have this as a foundation.

Thanks for another great chapter.

Like how you are changing up the star wars storyline but you still kept the characters the same. Aayla is conflicted about her feelings. (Honestly, who wouldn't want to get close to her). So now she has to confront her master and find out where she stands. Does she love him or not love him?

Thanks for explaining what Rosarie Storm has been doing since her mission into the underworld of Coursaunt. So she became a healer and little more than a assistant. I don't mind this. Just don't make it so she isn't changing. Like the part where she can sense her friends distress because she is close to her. Have her grow but never be fully solid. What I request is just don't make her bound to the code.

Yesssss! An update! Thank you so much, great job as always, this is definetly one of my favorite SW Fics out there, glad to see an update for it! Hope to get another one soon (hint) also, will Storm be meeting Anakin or Padme at any point t in this story (or series)

Sorry for only updating only now. I just got an account.

Maybe its been my long time from reading this story but Spiders death didn't feel as emotional to me.

But other than that, I am happy the way it turned out. Storm is going to learn more of the trade and in time, I hope she can even be a respectable fighter. She isn't stupid to ignore how effective a blaster is.

I personally liked this chapter quite a bit - although I'm sure not everyone will, don't let that stop ya! But PM me, cuz I have a question: when you said the next arch is the last one before the end, did you mean that after that arc is over so will this fic? If so... PLZ NO. I've had too much fun reading a Star Wars fic from you! But even if you never continue or make a spiritual sucessor to this fic, i'll be eager for what you craft next!
Best wishes,
A Very Constipated Genius