UGH THANK YOU IM CRYING AGAIN

GAWD

UHOH

NO

The Other just JINXED himself, didn't he?

Woaaahhhh you just made me a hardcore loki/amora shipper! I've got tears in my eyes! Amazing job! Keep it up xoxo

Loved this

Oh dear. I am glad that you wrote this scenes. They clean up a lot of confusion and I greatly respect that you listen to your readers and pay heed to their comments, questions and confusions ... but maybe it would have been better to do a sweep through the whole fiction and edit the chapters, maybe even rewrite them. I have done that with my work as well, going so far as deleting whole chapters before posting them again. It hurts, it takes time, but this story is something you care for, so caring about it thoroughly is paramount

The flashback is really sweet, but the chapter is far too short. There is a lot of conflict between them, even though Sigyn strikes me as not confrontational in nature. There's your chance for drama, use it!

But I must say that your chapters get better and better the more you write. I just wish they were longer; it would do wonders to the pacing.

There we go again!

There's a freudian little typo in the third line (fourth sentence) - hear, not heart, but I'm pretty sure that's what it came from ;)

All in all, you have done really well in your effort to build up atmosphere and introduce non-konfrontational and showy, overconfident Amora further. It seems that the farther the story progresses, the better it gets. Right now, you are on the roll

This was really a nice chapter and it didn't feel as detached as the other chapters. In fact, it is carefully written, and that care shows.

Let's talk a moment about character design, though. Your version of Sigyn is portrayed as an otherwordly beauty, barely even to be considered "human". Ephemeral, dreamlike, aloof yet benevolent, more creature than person for the time being, that's what I gathered from reading. All these traits don't mesh well with the trust she is supposed to show, and that's where character design kicks in. Let me explain through one or two examples from movies.

By the time the first quarter of an hour was over, I knew all there was to know about Luke Skywalker. He was the hero of the story, humble in his lifestyle, as shown in his sourroundings. His dialogue with his uncle and aunt showed us that he was an orphan, but was okay with it. He also longed to follow his friends, join the rebels because it felt a noble cause. The viewer understood from a few lines and the way he carried himself that he was gentle, kind, but also brave, gifted, noble and honourable. This wasn't shown through action, it was shown through composure, his tone, his voice, his appearance.

Another example is more recent: Pacific Rim featured a russian couple, pilots to be specific. They had hardly any dialogue (if any at all), but they wore heavy armour, looked always composed and always with straight shoulders and an air of war veteran around them. They were both complete badasses, of that there was no doubt - hair, beard, make-up, everything about them just screamed "tough as nails". When they were both in a room that was to be blown up, they exchanged a mildly concerned glance and then calmy walked away. This showed the viewer two things: 1. badass. 2. trust in each other (as they had the same idea without ever voicing it to each other). 3. Equals. They both engaged each other as equals; none of them had to take the lead in this event. They just did it because it felt natural to them.
That is character design masterfully done, as it took only a glance to define those minor characters and their relationship with each other.

What I want to say: That's how it's done. You don't need to spell everything out for the reader. Readers are smart, they draw their own conclusions. But you need to take your time with the design and ask yourself "Have I shown what this character is all about?". You are doing well so far - I've seen Amora and have a good idea what she is about (Manipulative seductress, cold at heart, pragmatic). I don't know what Sigyn is supposed to be - relatable? That's not what she is. She is distant and then becomes so close to the POV-Character, I don't really know what to think.
Loki is problematic as well; while I really, really know that writing him is *hard*, I don't know what he is about in this fic. He is enigmatic even as an POV-character, rarely does or thinks anything that defines him and is just hard to grasp. Spelling it out what it is won't cut it - show it. If your version of Loki is impatient, don't tell the reader, show how he paced up, how he gets more and more frustrated. Describe the facial expression, how he straightens his shoulders, how tense he gets etc. etc.

I hope I have made my point somewhere in this wall of text. Sorry

Nice introduction of the Enchantress, but this chapter is suffering from the usual suspects: unfocused, strangely paced and character design needs a more sophisticated approach. I really love your descriptions though and truly wish that this fanfiction will eventually play into your strengths as a writer - chewing the scenery, building up the drama. Patience

That took me a few weeks. Sorry, I have been busy

I think that is the best chapter so far in aspects of writing as a craft. It's skillful, dramatic, but also a little unfocused, I'm afraid. Perhaps paying more attention to the emotions of your characters, especially the POV-characters would help?

That being said, you ended the chapter on a cliffhanger, which is good. On the other hand, I wish your chapters would be a little bit longer for pacing.

I see why you are uncomfortable with dialogue. In this case, there were just so many characters to include. I can relate; the more characters join the conversation, the more difficult it gets, and you have done so not smoothly, but you have done it. That's a victory in itself.

I can also see that you have a good grasp of character design and stay true to it, which I respect tremendously. This conversation could have gone quickly into OOC-territory, but it didn't. In fact, I very much liked Loki adressing every weapon pointed at him. Very stylish.

There's always a but. But ... the conversation is a little unclear. Sometimes I don't know who says what. Also, the really important battle happened off-screen? Loki fighting for his life and *winning* for the moment happened off-screen? That's a pity, I would have liked to see this, as well as his motivation.

Very dramatic, short and crispy, no pun intended. You have the gift to get powerful emotions across, but really, I have trouble with the present tense. It so doesn't fit your style, which is a little old-fashioned, but rather beautiful than pretty. Not sure what to make out of the Other's appearance here, since I'm not sure you intended the statement for the bigger picture. Yes, Frigga, a really sympathetic character goes down - but there goes Frigga. As in Odin is just beside her. As in the throneroom of Asgard, surrounded by guards and other people who should be there, who should react.
Also, that raises the stakes, as somebody or something who would just casually kill the wife of the most powerful being around to get some petty revenge (or rather "You have failed me"-moment) is tough. It means "Nothing can stop us anyway, so kiss my boot". These stakes are *high*. This isn't an accident, that is striking at Asgard not while it is distracted or weakened, but when it is strongest. I don't know if this was your intent.