This is beyond hilarious and makes too much (sort of) sense.

... This is far too accurate and what SHOULD have actually happened by far. I am very pleased with this and its result!

Goddamned Quincies. No respect for law and order. I think I saw one jaywalking just the last night too.

Bwahaha! Loved it!

I’d assume that the reason in canon that Unohana died when so many Soul Reapers with worse injuries didn’t was because she was supposed to be the best healer in the Soul Society. Theoretically she can heal wounds that are beyond the scope of anyone else. Still, the logic doesn’t quite fit, and i adore your version of events. You always bring common sense to Bleach and a smile to my face.

This is how you do a deconstruction fic.

I swear, she only died because Bleach got cut before she could be deus ex machina'd back to life...

cool

AHAHAHAHHA! XD An excellent point.

That was pure fucking gold. Gonna mark down a favorite here, yep, good.

GOD BLESS YOU AND BLESS THIS FIC, IT'S PERFECT.

This is beautiful and hilariously written. You did such a fantastic job of having Kyoraku ream her out and I wish this had been what happened because seriously. And there's so many good lines but 'what's that? You don't think anything because you were vaporized?' Shoved me right into hysterical laughter.

This was perfection. You win the Bleach fandom award :)

THANK YOU. We were ALL thinking it, Unohana, so quit your bitching.

Awesome! So THAT'S what REALLY happened behind the scenes!