its been 6 years is this dead?

Dude please update please

5 years still waiting

soo... how did Moka survive entering the Senkaimon anyway?
As far as I know Ichigos group needed a special converter to be able to do that.

really i dont know how weak is outer moka, but is she really that weak she cant get free from normal, human? well, just asking :p

You've never actually talked with a Toothbrush in your mouth, have you? They aren't big. They don't impede your speech so as to make you speak with 'w's added to every single word.

... You use "sucking" entirely to much. Vampires do not "suck" someone. They FEED from someone. To suck someone implies oral sexual contact of some kind. "Feeding from him was like feeding from a nuclear reactor. Not "Sucking from him was like sucking from a nuclear reactor". Get real.

I must say that I've never heard any fights making noises like "Hpft" before. Maybe in your stories, you should leave out adding "sound effects". It's childish and doesn't contribute in the least to the story. Describe fuckers getting their shit kicked in. Not sounds to describe it.

Also, your writing is as if Rukia never stayed and live in his house before which makes no sense whatsoever. If they managed to support Rukia, then they could support Moka as well. Your story is WAY too forced. Although you are probably not reading this, I recommend a rewrite to adjust the story and fix there characters.

Read up to 3 chapters so far and I already have so many questions and problems. Ichigo is way too ooc! Not to mention him, even his family is! I mean what kind of father has that much distrusts towards his son! Now, i’ve read the reviews and if Ichigo actually did get hurt from just an adjuchas than that would be disappointing. Especially considering this is past the Ginjo Arc.

I agree with basically everything fellow reviewer 'SomethingAncient' said.

You don't capture Ichigo very well at all. He's way OOC. I know you wanted to add Melodrama but that isn't even close to how Ichigo would react in pretty much any of these situations. Especially during the lunch bit where Moka finds out about Masaki. Ichigo would never blow up at someone like that just for asking about his mother.

To describe it: It's like his petulance dial was cranked up to 11. You basically turned Ichigo into a cookie-cutter angsty teenager while removing some of his more redeeming qualities.

All in all, I can't continue reading this.

please update your story's its been 4 years

Ichigo being hurt by an adjuchas...

Dude the way you write is really stiff you should like loosen up with the way you write and they way the characters talk it’s like there narrating everything also leave out the small time skips it gets annoying also the way you put in all the sound affects is kinda dumb and if you dnt have a co writer or someone to look over your stories before you publish them you should look into finding one or someone better