Hey man good job with this story its amazing and one of the best fanfictions I have ever read. I was saddened when I noticed that the story was discontinued. I doubt you will see this and decide to write one more chapter and give Yui, Asuna, and Kazuto the ending they deserve but if you do I feel that it will end one of the greatest SAO fanfictions ever written.

Alright, before I royally fuck up and leave myself in a state where I can't review, let's give the review.

First of all, I'm super sad that this story isn't finished. You are by far my favorite writer, and this story is amazing. I wouldn't be that sad if the part you abandoned wasn't both a cliffhanger and smack in the middle of the climax, but whatever, that's why I learned how to visualize. I mean, to me, even a rushed ending would've been a bit ending, I don't care if you just rush by it in an hour (considering you wrote Sweet and Sour's "Want" in a mad rush, I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out amazing). Honestly, I know how it feels to be disillusioned with a story, I once dropped an entire story on it's birth because something caused me to lose all interest with it, but I really want to see this finished. I know it's abandoned, never to be updated again, but if you have time, even an hour with nothing to do, I want to see it done. I want to see how they fix it, how everyone reacts to Yui, how they react to Yui.

Alright, now, for the actual review. Also, if everytime I mention "Want", I'm referring to Sweet and Sour Chapter Five: Want

To clarify, I'm not a big fan or a hater of SAO, I find it okay, that's about it, but this story, man is it great. It's no Silent Melody, but you can tell how well you can write. When the story began, I feel it didn't have the shine as Silent Melody or better chapters of Sweet and Sour, simply put, it didn't feel as polished or refined, but believe me, that's not horrible. Even if it wasn't quite to SM or SaS levels, it was still fantastic and shows off how you can write.

First of all, let's talk about Kazuto. First of all, I like the fact that you only refer to him as Kazuto, this is a mistake I see so many people make, but his real name is Kazuto, not Kirito, and somehow, you always call him Kazuto, just a minor note that I like. Anyways, his character is amazing. In the original SAO and even GGO, you don't know much about his personality. It feels bland and kinda mysterious, he doesn't say what's on his mind, he says what's appropriate, so I don't know him well. But you, man did you do a good job on him. For starters, since we hear his thoughts, we can really see him for who he is. Also, he doesn't feel like the Marty Stu he does in the other series, he's flawed, he makes mistakes, he gets angry and upset, he feels real. He feels alive. He is interesting, likable, hardworking, stubborn, yet also easy to anger, naive, and even kinda witty at times. He goes from being (not my words) a bland stereotypical harem protagonist to a multidimensional, complex character. I like seeing characters beyond their source, and this is a great example.

And with that high note, let's bring it down a bit, with Asuna. To me, she is probably the least interesting of them all, mainly because she doesn't feel too different or developed compared to Kazuto, if anything, she feels just like her SAO counterpart. I said earlier, I like to see characters beyond their source, and while this would be easier than say, Madoka Magica, I can still see issues. To me, a talented author can go beyond what they learn or are shown in a story. It is great if they are like they are in the story, rather than being out of character, but a truly impressive writer won't just make them in character, but will grow them as characters, in ways believable to them and that can make us adore said characters. Asuna is the only one I feel who fails at this.

Now, I don't think the others are too big a deal. Rika is the most interesting one with her unrequited love, but there isn't too much I can say about her. Let's skip over Klein, Keiko, Agil, Sugu, and Asuna's Family because this review is already crazy long. Simply put, I don't feel there are any bad or unnecessary characters, though I feel some characters could've done more.

Only three left, and then then the two villains, so bear with me. Hitomi is a great addition, her character is believable for her situation, she is great for bringing conflict within the character. Her situation is great and I like how important she becomes to the story. Takanashi is pretty interesting, I like the idea of how he hates sympathy and how he could relate to our MC, plus, his idea is pretty good. Hideki is pretty good, but doesn't go much further beyond his role.

Now, there's the villains, Takashi and Fuzen. Takashi I feel was the more interesting one, he wasn't just evil, he was broken and complex, he wanted revenge, and when he lost, he accepted his lost and thought it over, helping Kazuto through some of his turmoil. He is fantastic, though there wasn't much for him. To me, while his character was good, he was a pretty lackluster villain because it just felt, kinda fast. Fuzen though, he is the opposite of Takashi. He is a pretty cliche, lackluster character, but he is a fantastic villain. He puts our character through so much turmoil, yet he never tries to kill them, instead, making them suffer. This makes our characters inner conflict so powerful and he is the catalyst of it all.

I know I said I had no more characters, but I almost forgot one, the most important one: Yui. Or maybe I didn't forget and wanted to write about her last, because to me, she is by far the greatest character in the story. Despite the fact she only gets like... 3 chapters of development, she is the most interesting. Her introduction was amazing, her wish to be human, her apprehension to seeing her parents, her hatred of her AI form, her maturity from her months alone, all this is incredible. To see a character like Yui acting so... negative, it's really interesting, and makes her easily the most complex, interesting, and likable character, despite how little we actually see her. Not to mention the fact that she fuels the entire climax, the best part of the story. Overall, she is great, I would put her at Silent Melody levels of well made.

Anyways, with the characters out of the way, let's get to everything else.

First up, writing style, diction, and fluency. The story flows really well. I said earlier that the story didn't quite have that shine, that polish and refinement that was on your later stories didn't really exist here, at least, not now. I liked how the diction (word choice) was still really good and did a good job painted a portrait of our characters, but this didn't have the atmospheric nature of Silent Melody, nor did it have the thought-provoking atmosphere of "Want", nor did it have the pensive, melancholic atmosphere of "Anything" (Mei Hates Christmas). If I had to compare it to anime, where Silent Melody would be... Madoka Magica and Want would be Girl's Last Tour, this had a more early Your Lie in April feel, very bright and sunny with occasional darkness. But that isn't bad. It feels, relaxing in a way, like a brighter future can come, before, well, the conflict.

After Takashi, that had darkness, but it didn't feel as severe since it happened so fast, after that, it went back to before, with hope of a brighter future, before the real conflict set in. After the introduction of Yui, that was when the story shined. It became darker, we can see how powerful the internal conflict of Kazuto is, the fear and stress of the situation. I compared the chapter The Spaces Between to Sea of Arrows because of some similarities I noticed, but they weren't so similar I could call Sea of Arrows a rip off of Spaces Between, which is a good thing since I love Sea of Arrows. After that, the story was incredible, it was suspenseful, always left me on the edge of my seat, and had me only wanting more and more.

Now, the situation. One issue I had with SAO was how they never really showed the negatives of the three year long SAO experience, to them, it was just... something that happened, but in this story, we get to see the conflicts caused by it. The need for VR, the conflicts between friends and society, the fear of coming back, all this worked perfectly in the story's favor, and I really like the idea that it will end with them cutting their ties to VR for good. I felt the beginning was kinda bland, but still not bad, but the relationship was interesting, and really grew as the story progressed. The idea is really good, to have Yui become human, and only works for how Yui felt during her introduction. I really wish we could see the story end, because I've yet to see a story to this level.

Now, onto the conflict. I'm gonna ignore the Takashi thing, since, as I said before, it really happened quite fast, and focus on the real conflict, Yui. The idea of it is pretty good, and right off the bat, we can see how this could make the story, but then came Hitomi. First of all, I don't dislike Hitomi because we know exactly why she did what she did, but what she brought to the table was fantastic. When she brought in her opinion, this caused our character to have doubt, the ultimate weapon for combating the completion of a goal. With the doubt, our character was forced to face the negative effects of what the project was doing to him, and that was amazing. To see the character so conflicted, so damaged, physically, mentally, and socially, by the events, only shows how real all of this is. I love psychological stories, and this is is a perfect example of this. The moral dilemma is also great, because we know why Kazuto is doing it, but we also know how it is affecting him, so we are left deciding whether we want him to continue, or give up. That's good writing.

Now, what else can I talk about. Plot, execution, pacing, idk. All at once, okay, since this review is already stupid long. This review is gonna cover an entire page by itself. Plot was really well done, you follow all the rules and it never felt dragged out. The execution was really good, while the basis is pretty good, the way it was executed was what made the story for me, the characters, the narration, the diction, everything. The pacing was also great, while I talk about how fast the Takashi arc felt, it makes sense, I mean, it's not like that attempted murder was gonna last a month, so the pacing was good. And finally, there were flaws, but I feel none of them ruined the story. Sure, you mixed up Sympathy and Empathy a couple of times (they are two different things), and the beginning was pretty slow, but nothing ever made me hate the story.

Now finally, the end, where I rank the characters. The contestants are: Hitomi, Asuna, Kazuto, Yui, Takashi, and Fuzen. Takanashi, Rika, Sugu, Hideki, and Asuna's mom are not a part of this because while they are pretty important, I don't feel they play a big enough role to make the list.

First is easily Yui, she was complex, interesting, and an overall well made character despite getting the least actual development. She also played a fundamental role in the story and was just amazingly made. Her story was interesting, her personality was interesting, everything about her was just well done.

Second is our MC Kazuto. His inner turmoil is insane, and how we see him change, how we see his failures affect him, how he makes mistakes, how he doubts, all this makes him feel so interesting and unique. He goes from the bland harem MC to this complex, interesting, flawed character with so much for him. He's also really likable, since he can endure so much.

Third would be Hitomi. She fits into this story perfectly, her role is great, and the way she becomes significant in the end is realistic, interesting, and important. Her backstory was great, and all in all, amazing.

Fourth would be Fuzen. While he doesn't go far in the "character" category, being cliche, one dimensional, and purely wicked, he works perfectly as the villain, and really causes the story to be where it is now, which is great. The way he taunts and mocks Kazuto, the way he riles him up, the way he acts that he can't lose, it makes him such a powerful force to want Kazuto to win.

Fifth would be Takashi. I had to add him because he is one of the main villains, and while he is a great character, I feel he doesn't have too much involvement in the story aside from his few chapters, and then his talk with Kazuto. He's a good character, but lacks the development needed to be a remarkable character.

Last is Asuna. The reason I put her last is because I felt she had the least amount of growth in all of them. She felt no different than in SAO, which kinda makes sense since she more or less says what's on her mind, Asuna from SAO is too much of a Mary Sue to be a perfect character in a story like this. I feel in all your stories where you have a bunch of important characters, there's one dud, and Asuna is this dud.

The best chapter, was chapter 22. This is where we see the doubt fester and take place, and how it deeply affects Kazuto, and how it hurts those around him as well. This is interesting, thought provoking, insightful, and really powerful. Overall, while chapters came close, this was a Red Diamond in a pile of gemstones. (Red Diamonds are the rarest, most expensive gemstones in the world, as well as being really beautiful).

TL;DR
Overall, this story is amazing. Sure, the beginning was slow, Asuna was pretty meh as a character, and the villains aren't anywhere near as strong as Silent Melody, you can really see how well made this story is. The characters are fantastic, the story is really good, the execution is amazing, and the conflict makes the story. If you haven't read the story yet, and for some reason decide reading reviews first is smart, go read it, it is more than worth it. Just a warning though, the ending is nonexistent.

Final Note: Please, if you read this, please update this. I don't care if you spend a month writing it, or the amount of time after you finish a test, but I would love to see it end. You are an author who can write a story better than I can imagine, I can't do an ending like you, so if you can, please continue. Go back to this home you abandoned, and fix it up, and we will meet you there.

Next time, I will review Silent Melody and Ethereal Days, bye!

If the bbookisnt over than why hasn't the book been updated in 4 years.

I like this story a lot! Don't have much time but did is a good story

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Are you gonna finish this fan fic its one of the best ones please

To be completely honest, I'm fuckin annoyed with Kiritos attitude towards the girls who throw them self at him. I get they're your friends but seriously dude wake the fuck up. Jesus Christ you friggin man whore. You know they like you romantically yet don't put a stop to it. I hope Asuna dumps your gay ass cause you deserve it

One of the best fan fics I've ever read and believe me. I've read alot of fanfics. It's really sad you stopped updating this story but I understand. Thanks for writing this story and hope someday you might update it again. Maybe.

Nooooo! The capsule needs to be saved!

Every story is good here :)

MORE! I LOVE THIS!

i lo e it

Omg! This is literally the best fic ever! Please please please don't give up. Your work is amazing! Love love loved it!

Piz do more it is sooo good

Awwhh. Sad that this story will never be updated again! This was one of my favorite SAO stories... :,(