I've decided that I'm now going through a reading binge of all of your stories. So you'll be getting lots of reviews from me. I just can't get enough of your writing. So raw, I love it.

I never realized how abrupt this scene is until reading this. This is a great filler, and I love how you display his thought process. Perfectly in character for him when you add dimension to his character. Amazing amazing amazing. I love this.

This is just...really good. I have also felt like there should have been something in between them almost kissing and the boat pulling up to the shore, but I didn't realize until just now exactly how much I needed something in that place. The insight into Flynn's changing emotional state is fantastic. I especially liked "He has a new plan," and how his priorities all suddenly aligned.

Ahhh...! ;A;

I CANT EVEN ASDFGHHJKLEEERERRREEEEEEEEE
*fangirling*

i can't even

this is just too cute

you're an amazing author

*hi fives*

Oh right away your writing style is so gripping in this story. There's this feeling of just-fast-enough immediacy to the wording, and the transitions are just GUH - your ability to figure out exactly how to intersperse thoughts between tangents, like the flow about adrenaline before you sharply pull us back to the fear idea in a way that draws us from the abstract straight into the plot. That's great, absolutely great. And then, later, your repetition of 'ruin' - very classily done. Really nice description of /why/ Rapunzel makes him so nervous - I especially loved your portrayal of her as a child, because it's so true, isn't it, she's so young and even more than that SO sheltered, and for the childlike nature of her to juxtapose against a sort of wisdom he fears - that was great. AGH this is so great already.

I don't even ship Rapunzel and Eugene - I only vaguely like him, and I crack ship Eugene with Max, but generally romance is completely off my radar in this movie (and you don't even know how many times I've watched this movie) - and you've already got me buying it.

'She is just perfect and he is just a mess and this is not the plan.' - So many lines are great, and there are SO many I could quote, but this one stuck out even more to me for some reason - maybe because it pleases my inner modernist/Vonnegut/Palahniuk, I don't know.

Such a great structure in the 'He needs' to 'He wants' to etc. progression you've got going there, right up to 'How can both be true?'

'He can use this fear.' - Isn't that gripping, too, though, the idea of 'using' fear - I've heard a few times in lit of people talking about channeling fear into adrenaline into whatever, but the idea of it being its own /thing/ to manipulate comes off really unique here.

I'm starting to notice your pattern of short, linked, sequential paragraph-lines, and you do a wonderful job of it - it can be tricky to pull off, but I think that you do. And it becomes effective in a different way once you hit the dialogue between Eugene and Rapunzel, mirroring the choppiness and sort of panic of his thoughts in the moment - which again goes back to the feeling of immediacy that I think you're doing wonderfully.

'she is down a frying pan' - BAH, wonderful comedic timing and phrasing.

Slight typo a little ways down: 'She deserves more, deserves btter'

Again, the repetition of 'ruined' - you are SO good at this agh.

'The hurt from his rejection and subsequent speechlessness is radiant and it pulses off of her in waves. He feels it sink under his skin, into his bones, like poison.' - Lovely imagery here, and phrasing too, 'pulses' and the grammatical structure, even, of 'under his skin, into his bones, like poison' - that series of images.

I pretty much skipped all of the smut scene because I have deep-rooted sex-guilt issues and I'm working through them but I'm not quite there yet, lol, so no feedback on that bit from me, sadly.

Really, really nice closing line and tie back to what's been niggling the back of Eugene's mind all this time, even despite his fascination with Rapunzel, that overarching anxiety that's contributed a really interesting tone to what otherwise would have just been plotless fluff. You took the romance and you took the plot and you /made/ something hard and real out of both of them, and for that I'm really, really impressed with this.

What you did there, I see it! haha

Flynn Rider, now what do I think of Flynn Rider? He's muscular, cute, full of sarcasm...he seems like a perfect guy, but man is he ever a pervert in that mind of his. I now know why Disney didn't have his POV in the movie or that intimate scene for that matter. It would've probably been rated PG 13( or higher, I'm not exactly sure how these things work). Those poor, poor children, they would've probably asked there parents awkward questions on what they were doing. Then after not getting a proper answer, they would've had dreams of unanswered questions in there head, never to be known until they reached the age of puberty! Oh the horror!

Now onto the review for the story. What you thought that was it? Please I'm just getting started.

Raven, this story was beautifully written. Your description of the love Flynn had for Rapunzel was perfect! I wouldn't have written it better myself. You had a great hook at the beginning, and creating the same scene in the boat in Flynn's POV was genius. Although, he seemed very confused in his feelings for Rapunzel. That poor, poor girl. At least he made it up with her with a very sexual encounter. Bet she wasn't expecting that.

Any who, very good story! Very good indeed!
-Sapphire

No no no no no...I just died...just stab me in the heart and get it over with will you...you just had to make this scene even more heartwrenching and dramatic and wonderful than it already is...yep I have officially died.

I should start by saying thank you for writing a 'fill-in'. I too thought the movie changed abruptly. I usually write fill-ins so I can appreciate a story trying to supply missing information.

You have a good plot. Flynn's inner conflict and hesitation was exciting to see here. (I love stories that deal with some sort of turmoil with a main character).

The way the narrative is written makes it difficult for the character's voice to shine through in the story. "When you wrote,...He would have right then. What is wrong with him?" Consider ..."what is wrong with me?" Also another way to improve this would be to add more dialog. I understand that for some stories several lines or paragraphs of dialog isn't the easiest or even possible task, it helps a lot.

Once again, I love the plot and if those few things were addressed, I believe your story would be even better

whoooooooooaaaa !
this one was super great too, I love it, I do I do I do !
I want more rapunzel and Flynn moments, it would have been great if they had put this moment in the movie (okay maybe not, because when I went to the theatre to see it, I was surrounded by little children, and I'm not quite sure it would have been appropriate for them ... but f**k that was whoooaaa (still me and my unability to write comprehensible reviews , i'm much better when I'm writing stories, I should write fanfic maybe...)

see yaaaa !

You are by far one of my favorite authors on this site. I like to read and reread all of your stories often just because of how talented you write. And I just realized that I've never left a review before. Shame on me.
Though I'll be honest, 40% of the reason why I love reading your stories us because of the author notes. Lol

Oooh man... So blown away by this one that it's taking a little bit to collect my thoughts into something coherent.

I don't normally venture into the darker side of this pairing, but I really, really enjoyed this one. The way that you portrayed Flynn's character was unique and your own, but it also had very canon elements to it. The theme of fear that you used was perfect, and not necessarily something that I would have associated with this kind of subject matter. Flynn is really human in this piece, and we get to see so many layers of him, beyond what we are limited to in a children's movie. It's really beautiful, and I love the way that we get to see the relationship with Rapunzal, and how Flynn is using his judgment. Making sure that their first time is more special was probably my favorite part, just because it shows how much he really does care for her. Rapunzal was also portrayed really nicely, and I loved the way that you handled her innocence. They worked together so nicely here, and it was really enjoyable to read.

Pity to mentoin it, but here: "...right back." He says." should have a comma instead of a period at the end of the dialogue, making the "he" lowercase.

Really excellent piece. Well done!

Cheers, dearie!

Ah, Tangled, one princess tale I saw so much potential in. I really like the insight you give Flyn; all the conflicting and frustrated narration really builds up to the saucy part. I'd say though that his thinking goes on for a little too long. I started to think "When's it get to the action already?"

Also, now that you've gone through all this effort to get me emotionally invested in the moment, in Flynn's plans, it's stinging that it cuts off right before everything goes wrong. The film also didn't show exactly how the Stabbingtons got the best of Flynn and that bothered me. I want more!

Nicely done.

Sarah

Oh wow I loved the hell out of this. Truly amazing! I'd love to read a follow-up should you be inclined to write one.

SO. MUCH. FRUSTRATION. Holy wow this is amazing okay? AMAZING. I cannot wait to read more of your writing!