I'm bad at starting reviews. Let's just do things.

CHARACTERS: So you've already got somewhat of a cast here. So far, Nate seems to be a fair character. However, some parts of him are slightly unrealistic. I mean, in a real situation, he would probably be panicking a lot more, not just going with the punches. Perhaps he's just a person who can take pressure well, but if that's so, it should be emphasized more in prose. So far, Nate's character has been defined entirely through his slapstick interactions with his new environment and the mystery dudes. While that's okay, since this is in the Humor genre, it's pushing more into deep Parody zone than just Humor. Try and give him some characterization beyond standard banter and complaining about how his life is crazy, which has been the staple of this fic so far. Perhaps include some inner thoughts that are not one-liners of him complaining about his life. Or have him make a real conversation with another character, not only banter.

Mystery dudes. They can be amusing, but so far they're all too similar in personality, with the same mocking persona. Like, I know from experience that writing friends is weird. Try and emphasize traits that make them distinct. To solve problems for both the above, I suggest making one of the characters genuinely helpful. It adds variety to the dialogue and opens up a whole new column of characterization for Nate, who has thusfar only demonstrated that he's snarky and gets frustrated because his only real reaction has been with the mystery dudes who all act the same.

Overall, I'll give you a 6 for this section.

GRAMMAR

Infi dun good. I'll give you a 10.

FLOW

It's so far, very choppy and rushed, I'm sorry to say. The writing happens like you're checking off a checklist of things to make fun of about the games before moving on. The writing should flow from scene to scene at an even pace. You're rushing to get to the next bullet point. Try and make things happen naturally - you don't need to critique every unrealistic aspect of the game, and even if you want to, you should spread it out throughout the story and not make the first four chapters solely that. Adding some more descriptions or internal dialogue may help.

Also this is a semi-personal preference, but your Author's Notes are long. I, too, suffered from this a lot, but many casual readers if they see that an AN is long, they will skip it. I'd suggest trying to be more brief and to the point, but that's only a personal preference. Other than that, I'll give you a 5.

AUDIENCE APPEAL

So far, the only aspect of this section you seem to be tackling is humor/satire. This isn't bad, considering that Audience Appeal is meant to be optional and select, but I do wonder if you have any ideas for say, themes and symbolism. Mostly themes, since I highly value themes in fic. So far, the point of your story seems to be making fun of the game mechanics. Which is okay, but people get attached to stories they relate to, and you do that through themes. I dunno.

As for humor, there are some parts that were kind of amusing, but so far the jokes seem too repetitive because the fic is already steeped in banter and the characters are too similar. I'm not the best critic of this since I don't write or read Humor, but you don't need to try and make everything funny. Then again, I have no expertiese in this so yeah, do what you want. I'll give you a 6

PLOT

So far, I'm really not sure where you're going with this. I get that your original element is supposed to be the mystery dudes, but at this point in the game, they are too obscure. People get bored of reading just you making fun of the game and the mystery dudes making fun of Nate. If you're going to add original elements, you'd better add them now. This fic doesn't have any substance so far. Since this is a novelization, people already know what's supposed to happen, so you have to make things different. Mystery dudes are not giving off the proper vibe of vagueness; foreshadowing does not simply entail introducing a mysterious element, it means asking a mysterious question and then reinforcing it until you get to the reveal. Okay, that was a pretty horrible way to explain it. Basically, it's too vague, now, and the writing isn't reacting properly. For instance, Nate needs to ask questions, and the mysterious people need to give half-answers. You don't want the readers to know the whole story, but you also don't want to leave them with nothing. Questions should lead to more questions, not a dead end.

Also the parody/filler to plot ratio feels like it needs some work. To be frank, this section is faring the worst right now and that's why this fic is suffering. We already know what happens in the games, so that's why you have to work your hardest to make this distinct from them. In other words, if the whole rules-changing thing is going to come into play, I hope it comes into play soon. Currently, your characterization is limited, the potential for creative battle scenes is limited, the plot is limited, and yeah, sorry for raining on the parade, but I just care about this fic. Novelizations are supposed to break out and do things that the original game couldn't. So this section gets a 4.

Overall, your score is 62 out of 100. Understand that this is put on a bell-curve scale, not like a school-grade type one. You're ahead of like 80 percent of other fics. Also I know that some of this is harsh and may hurt, but it is not meant to hurt. This is what I may honestly think. Maybe other people think differently. This is a fic with potential, and I did enjoy parts of it, but it can be much better. :)

Love this chapter with its parodying of the turn style. XD It was even more humorous how the other characters talked in Nate's head and just caused him to grow more and more angry.

And oooohhhhh, since this will be a straight run through of your Soul Silver play through, I'm looking forward to many more funny things to come. Good luck, Sky! : )

All these reality benders are one thing, but a level three Pidgy? I dunno if Nate and Ember can handle it, they've got their work cut out for them. Awesome cliffhanger, Sky.

But yeah, I've already given you my thoughts on the chapter (awesome, in case you've forgotten). Can't wait for the next one. :D

HI HI REVIEW THIS IS A REVIEW HI.

So, lookin' fab so far.

(haha it's another fic that starts off with a chess match)

So the characters seem interesting, which is a given considering where they're derived from. The whole supernatural-ish aura also gives some room for possibilities, though I'm wondering how you're going to handle it. The almost "god-like" abilities I've seen are making me wonder how you're going to pull this stuff.

Nathan plays the sane man in Wonderland pretty well, I think. Though I'm interested in if there's another reason those guys want him. I mean, I'd suspect there's a lot of bored people out there. I haven't had a good look at his character yet, but I'm looking forward for some real character development.

The writing seems a bit sparse and it seems to flow a bit fast, and the chapters are already kind of short as it is. There were a few moments when I was pretty confused as to where I was because the transition snuck up and sucker-punched me in the face. The lack of description also threw me off a bit in terms of flow, but I read fast anyway, so that may just be my fault. More description couldn't hurt, though. Or maybe at least internal thoughts or philosophy or stuff or put together some of the one-liners for some nice paragraphs.

The parody on the games seems interesting, and the turns you take from them are amusing. I am hoping for an explanation, though. Parodies are a staple of the franchise, so it would be nice if somewhere you put something to differentiate yourself from all the others.

Hahaha Cyndaquil.

I do like your sense of humor, so far. It seems like this fic should be able to keep my attention. :) This review is kinda short, but thumbs up, go with the flow, don't do drugs, and update soon!

Just noticed that the "Yes,Professor, I have," needs a space and should end with a period. Could have sworn I fixed that...

Anyways, I completely agree with Mr. Nameless Man. Cyndaquil FTW. :D

The story's really taking shape, and I'm looking forward to when the adventure actually begins.

Keep up the good work.

A'ight, let's do this.

First: Very funny, I think humor is good for a story. Lucky for you, you're good at humor. KEEP IT UP.

Second: Sometimes the wording of your...words is a bit funky. Not enough that I can't figure out what you're saying, but enough that I have to go back and reread. REMEMBER: Description and paragraphs are your friend. Description makes things interesting, paragraphs are like...word sorters. :D

Here are your warm fuzzies, enjoy them. :3

Let the warm and fuzzies commence.

You're off to an awesome start, Sky, and I'm really looking forward to the misfortunes that await Nate. Even knowing as much as I do, I'm eager to know more, and I'm eager to see what I already know is going to happen actually happen. :D

Keep 'em coming, and keep up the good work.

Greetings earthling. :P

You're off to a good start with this prologue, Sky. Already set up a lot of the main characters and the cliff hangers you have are quite nice as well. However I noticed while I was reading that your question marks and some other things are spaced away too far. I know it sucks to do so but you should always double check before you post something, since the site can be a meanieface and change how everything is set up. XP

Can't wait to read the next chapter and have the action get going. :D

Good start here Sky, we'll have to see where this goes. AND I DON"T WANT TO STAY FABULOUS! SCREW THAT ONE!