I have one problem with this story I have absolutely no idea what your main character is looked up "quesa" all over google and can not seem to find out what it is or means, if it is a foreign word it would be nice if there was a translation at the end of first chapter. Otherwise I feel kinda stuck since I don't know what one of the characters is, if the explanation is giving somewhere after chapter one or its part of the plot otherwise it's realing making it hard to enjoy what might be a good story

update

Like the story so far but I have one question will jack and Cristina fall in love

I like this interaction in action scenes, and to top that, you shown the characters aren't "Unstoppable" badass, which is really good when Tristina took bullet wound (Not that I'm glad or hoping this frequently happens every chapter). It just goes to show they struggle more so often, especially that unconformable feeling of removing bullet out of her flesh made me cringe, which was really good that you shown excellent detail making it easy for me to visualize their position. The immersion was spot on.

An idea for future chapter if you want it.

If they're able to cooperate and become too good at certain point of story for later, there could be trials and struggle, maybe like:

-They could be forced to split up, situation like; certain areas falls apart or believe searching or retrieving specific materials would be faster (based on missions collecting maybe photo shoots or restoring oxygen). Straining a new insight of disadvantage without eachother.

- Maybe as they split up, and considering you added your OC to this alternative universe, maybe it would be even more interesting to add unofficial new psychos you could wish for to encounter Jack/Tristina. Not too many random crazies at every segment. Make this crazy one different from others. What makes it survive?

These are just thoughts if want to consider adding, I'm not hoping, unless you have your own "artistic integrity"

Overall keep it up.

You know, maybe with a few lesson from Bioshock Infinite, you could have Tristina be a good ammo/health pick up person and pass it to eachother...lol...

Anyway, I re-read you story, and still have no idea if the shackle is still on Tristina since the plane scene, maybe you should have one piece dangling, and Jack has excellent perspective. I mean, no offense to your work, but if you involve an alternative story universe with additional OC, it kind of gets really stale when you have this Tristina be a this "drag-along" with few given line. and given Jack thoughts and few dialogue, maybe this is your chance to have Jack be totally opposing to Booker Dewitt character/personality of Bioshock infinite. "Underwater city...ridiculus..." (Don't inconveniently try to squeeze in City in sky is stupid)

Don't get me wrong about the action detail, it's still great. But I think now should be the time to focus the build the bond, the core of Tristina, her behavior, where her moral stands, and mystery behind her shackle in beginning, maybe Jack will remember it bluntly on plane.

Questioning eachother: "Where was they were heading if plane didn't crash?"

...

OOOHHH yeah bet ya didn't think of that one? lol.

Both could be in awkward silence during walk, as Tristina nervously has trouble thinking excuse for her detainment, maybe mysterious criminal history. Or is she cold hearted thief. Obsestion of loots and money that can reveal her darkside? (Don't get wrong idea if it sounds like I'm forcing you to add these, I'm not, be considerate with plotcharacter plans). And Jack gets headache, unable to remember why he was on plane. Remembers little of family get togather...or is it all fake? Maybe when walking by convenient story of his life, instruments he hated playing as child, or creepy ass doll, favorite dish (and since this is your universe story, you can take advantage what kind of fake memories Jack could be implemented). Something Both jack and Tristina can relate, share their opinions of what they hate, or like, disagree or agree, towards the end. (depending if area they're in makes sense if items the come across)

And don't add awkward romance pause, unless the situation calls for it, or if it's your focus, considering it's an interesting alternative universe that doesn't need to have romance be center of everything.

This chapter update was pretty small, so it's hard to say much, it's enough sign to say you and your story is not dead, that's good.

Okay, I'm seeing some major improvement, now I that since your story it is more story/writing focused, and it isn't a game. (Well, you are doing great job with detail of action scenes is great, and its powers and weapons shouldn't be left out, but don't make a great deal out of them.)

Here's a thing when I've read based on Writing between Books and video game. I've pretty much notice playing and reading books of Halo and Splinter Cell.

Video games tend to focus on gameplay, with world of Bioshock, it graphics and shadow environment created atmosphere, but creating atmosphere was kind of open depending on whether the player rushed passed points of the game to trigger an event to enjoy the story unfold. Game developer tend to add extra rooms to give players more action challenge to explore and loot. So don't force yourself to write the scene like "Oh, Jack and Tristina entered a room, fought some splicers, go check around room to loot...etc,." Just...write what you FEEL like it's must be part of story. But add lots of details.

When it comes to writing in book, or fanfiction, you should focus more on trying to detail the environment based on characters perspective view points. Now I'm not telling you to take away the length of story,

What kind of atmosphere...well we all enjoyed Bioshock of its beautiful underwater city, taking in the amazement of how and why this kind of place was built. Then...(which I do believe you should add more).
Psycho splicers. Like that Crazed women who was crying for her baby in carriage, but it turns out it's just a pistol...Or more moments of annoying lights illuminating splicers creepy shadows, goes out, then they disappear.

Don't forget, Atlas could cite his key word "Would you kindly-" at any given time.

Okay, I'm done reviewing, I'm tired...

Okay, so it's showing some of her personal history little by little, which is great...

I just think maybe you should do this more exchange more...engaging conversation to keep their sanity in check, and maybe some conflicting major tension...hell maybe add scenes of non-official supporting/antagonist character extra for small moments to created drama that could blur meaning of right and wrong that differentiate Jack and Tristina...

But like I said, don;t get wrong idea of me sounding...I don't know the word...sound like an ass I guess...I mean surprise me with some unusual ideas

Seems like Tristina not telling everything about her bright white light powers...she part of the universe, or another universe jumpers...

As for the relationship between Tristina and Jack, I really don't know much, not much impact of following original story I'm reading here.

So far it looks like just an OC you wanted to tag along, I'm hoping you can expand that by having Jack and her having some form of tension of maybe trust. Or you can make up yourself give Jack more personality to him.

But I don't want to say too much cause I'm in the dark here.

I'm not even sure if this is suppose to be a romance build plot between two of them.

Shouldn't one or the other be suspicious how they keep their cool. But I'm gonna assume we're getting there.

Maybe you can somehow make Atlas...unforeseen and feel suspicious about this new tag-along OC of yours why she's here with Jack.

And for the story script, maybe with your OC, maybe she can do something different, that doesn't follow the script, maybe a sign of weakness in the water city of reflection dark of her history compared to in city.

But enough about my review. I don't want to sound like I'm influencing you.

But I'm just making susgestion maybe you can try to do something different with your OC to change original script. Add more dialouge between Jack and Tristina exchange lives information...if they can...

This...is an interesting take on, despite the game being outdated...

good job love that chapter this is the best one i read so far keep up the good work

i love the story keep it up and i hope jack saves the little sister when the time comes