This fan fic is extremely well written! If only there were more reviews to make it popular... You know, the latest updates appear on the first page of the Anime/Manga section? *hint hint*

Interesting concept... More would fantastic!

Took me some time ... but now I've got here and read it ... it's still as interesting as I remember it to be

Ok, I really liked the first part. The detail was great, it was very well written. It really gave off a "half there, half not" a good way of setting up the story with that sort of philosophical talk, which is good; it really set the mood.

The details and grammar overall were quite good; in terms of grammar especially, you've improved noticeably and considerably since your first works.

I like how the whole chapter seems to hold a gloomy, half-conscious sort of feel, like the story is slowly awakening from the darkness.

Characterization is pretty good, though I'd expect a just a tad more competence, composure and sternness in the moments where there was none or little from some of them, like that outburst from Koharu, or the shock from Jiraiya; I figure the latter would be more "surprised" than "shocked". These people are old enough, intelligent enough, and experienced and competent enough to not have many moments where there composure is broken under serious situations when they're actually being serious. But there weren't many.

All in all? Thumbs up! I give this a solid 9.5.

Awesome. Love it so far, I can't wait for the next chapter... xD

Hmm very nice something new i really hope the story gets to a certain length, i really would like to read more of that

Should create a better summary. I don't know about others, but I personally sift my way through entire fandoms for FanFictions that go along the lines of throwing an Earth OC into X Universe. Current summary has no indication of that whatsoever ;o