Coming back to this story when you said Harry hasn't met any sentient species before I'm hoping you meant outerspace. If not, the Goblins, Unicorns, veela, vampires, etc... would Like a word with you

Umm... you kill the turian Councilor's son in one paragraph and then about 4 paragraphs later you have Harry tell the counselor that he saved his son

It seems that Potter luck is still running true.

They should have scanned for any ships on the planet or in the area that may belong to the Yahg, and disable or destroy them.

Harry should have a picture of Liara with white pointy hat, a long blonde wig, white sleeveless mid-thigh dress, and low-heel pumps!

I think the others would be shocked to find out Harry does not have any amps to use biotics.

It's strange you're writening is so so. Yet your conversations are so formal. Just weird

The story seems interesting, at first... as I begun to read it, I started to notice some mistakes... which I tried to ignore and go on with the story... but the mistakes grew, a lot, so i'm sorry that I have to abandon the reading, but it became unreadable.

I am no english speaker, and in reading this story I had to stop, return back to read and trying to interpretate what you were trying to write...

I get this story was written with all good intentions, but it is honestly quite hard to read...

Ol Joe is right, the premise seemed fine but the text chunks completely turned me off, sorry. Didn't finish the first chapter.

This story is unreadable due to 'wall of text'. The premise seems fun, but the strain isn't worth it.

Have you played ME? Your time line is Impossible. You have Omega run by Aria, but they don’t know what a human is? You need a re-write.

Two points: First, your charters responses and interactions are very bland and static, i find no way to connect with them personally as they are not very well fleshed out. Second, your time line is very short and cut, events happen quickly and are not described in detail, with the addition of the large time skips i also have a hard time relating to the story, i feel like im just being told; this happened, a few years passed, then this happened

You mean trunk not truck.

I'm not trying to be mean but I don't think I'll continue reading this story. You don't seem to know how Asari reproduce. There is no way for Liara to have inherit magic or Harry's green eyes because there is no transfer of genetic material. I'm guessing that Liara having magic is going to be a main point and that doesn't sit well with me. I did enjoy reading the story up to this point though.

So, where is part 12?

This is an interesting story.