i also hate the way you put spaces in between quotation marks and the dialogue.
"this is the correct way to use them!dialogue tagif the sentence doesnt require anything more than a period to close off the sentence, a comma is used,dialogue tag]. i appreciate most of your writing, its skillful and the plot isn't difficult to follow, but i have gripes.

the excessive Commas, and Capitalization, is aggravating, and Destroys the Immersion. see how annoying that was? i doubt you passed first grade english, jackass.

kira isnt japanese for killer. kira is the way killer is pronounced in death note because most japanese people cant pronounce the ls correctly.

honestly when you correct and edit...leave prejuice in...it made me crack

... too many commas

Draco- "Stop saying perhaps!"

Harry- .

But, honestly this was great. Love your work.

Honestly Harry, I would have the same reaction if someone grabbed MY ass. Im a boy too.

A dark muggleborn lord/lady: come to the dark side we have cookies
Most people: yeah... Okay I'll join cookies are magnificent
Me:in no than-
*he/she cuts me off*: we also have infinite data and a strong work connection
Me: I didn't know that the dark side could be so enticing * whilst walking over and hearing the terrified screams because I sided with the dark side*

Please stop, with all, the, commas. It makes, it, hard to, read.

Now that you've made him buddy-buddy with Granger, it's definitely not worth the pain that is your grammar skill, to continue reading.

Jesus, the commas... It's like you're channeling Captain Kirk from Star Trek while writing, or something.

It's, fucking, painful, to, read.

Commas are not YOUR friend.

You sprinkle those bitches like rice at a fucking wedding.

Do us all a favor? Next time you get the urge to hit that comma key while typing? DON'T.

"Stop saying perhaps." Drake
Me-" Perhaps... "

This is a very good story, even with the grammar, I couldn’t stop till I finished reading it. Thank you, and I look forward to any sequels.

Your story should be titled 'Attack of the Unnecessarily and Distracting Commas'.

The plot is beginning to take shape, but the grammar and spelling are simply horrible and I'm choosing not to finish this story because of them, it's just too distracting. Too bad, this could have really been a great story.

Holy crap, the commas actually made this painful to read... Love the plot, don't get me wrong, but Jesus... The grammar...

Loved it and hope u will write the sequel one day