"Dani having her first period"

Why? Just fucking why?
You don't write about people going to bathroom but we can assume they do so you really don't need to bring this up either. We can assume the other women and older girls have their periods there's no reason to call attention to Dani getting hers. There no fucking way it will ever be relevant to the story or the plot or even mentioned again after the chapter it’s brought up in. Sure, it's a big deal for girls but you as a guy are inevitably going to fuck it up. Especially since you don't understand how to write people and you definitely don't know who to write a sensitive/embarrassing subject.

Also, the just for comedy scene, as overused as the word is, was cringey.

"Danny was dying he doesn't have time to make speeches"

Yeah, and the three long-ass run on sentences could have kill him all by themselves, goddam. Speeches aren't marathons to see how many words you squeeze into a single fucking sentence.

“I abandoned this idea after realizing that the gauntlets from the alternate future and I would have to come up with something to explain them existing here,”

Oh, what you couldn’t have Clockwork bring them on silver platter for Danny to use instead of the thermos?

It's Danny fucking fault this happen he said he would protect his daughter then left her with someone who couldn't protect her. But he feels no guilt for putting Sam in danger by doing so and has the nerve to be surprised that the man who's already try to kill him his daughter and Sam before would attack again! Like what a fucking shock his arch-nemesis hurt people he cares about who the fuck could have seen that shit coming?

Also first real crush? The fuck does that mean? Are you saying is feelings for Paulina and Valerie were imaginary?
"Learnt your lesson last time you took Dani"
Learn from what? Danny didn't even attack Vlad! He never fought back against Danielle, if he had we all know he would have won. And as far as he knows he completely got away with his ruse to fool Valerie.
Dialogue is still atrocious. Like how did people get through this shit.

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the stories so much. I would like to do my own version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally understand. I do not have an account for , just to let you know. Thank you

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the stories so much. I would like to Do my own version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally understand. I do not have an account for , just to let you know. Thank you

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the stories so much. I would like to Do my own version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom Elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally understand. I do not have an account for , just to let you know. Thank you

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the stories so Much. I would like to Do my own version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom Elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally understand. I do not have an account for , just to let you know. Thank you

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the Stories so Much. I would like to Do my own version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom Elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally understand. I do not have an account for , just to let you know. Thank you

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the Stories so Much. I would like to Do my own version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom Elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally understand. I do not have an Account for , just to let you know. Thank you

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the Stories so Much. I would like to Do my own version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom Elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally Understand. I do not have an Account for , just to let you know. Thank you

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the Stories so Much. I would like to Do my own Version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom Elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally Understand. I do not have an Account for , just to let you know. Thank you

Hey The Storymaster1000 I was wondering If you could send me a Copy of your episodes for Daughter and Mother of a Phantom. I love the Stories so Much. I would like to Do my own Version of it. Where I take the Danny Phantom Elements and Replace with Elements from Pokemon. You can send them to me at . If you don't wanna send them that is okay. I will totally Understand. I do not have an Account for , just to let you know. Thank you

To that person in the back's comments.
Just NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO (皿)
That's beyond GROSS to put it mildly
Danny should have rip them apart molecule by molecule
（‵′）

You don't have to immediately post the first draft just because you finished writing it.

"Tucker she's physically twelve, however mentally she's about only a year old."

NO, she does not have the mental abilities of a one year old, you fucking idiot. She's far smarter than that if she was one, she would talk like a baby and cry all the time. Would a one year old be able to a handle the cold rejection of a parent without having a complete emotional break down? She may have been created a year ago but physically and mentally she is twelve, she may be underdeveloped socially or emotionally and naiver than the average twelve-year-old but she is twelve years old. She survived on her own for a good while, a one year old couldn't do that; they don't understand what money is or where food comes from, or that actions have consequences, or that stealing is wrong, they can't do anything for themselves.

"He used his super-human hearing to scan the park,"

NO, Danny does not have super-human hearing he's not fucking superman. At no point is it ever even suggested he has super hearing, the closest was a joke in Doctor's Disorders which was repeated with Tucker at the end. And the other half-ghosts are clearly shown not to have it because Jazz was literally hugging Vlad and he couldn't understand what she said and Danielle didn't hear what Valerie said when she was like six or seven fucking feet from her.

"That sounds like fun; you have quite an imagination, almost like me when I was young."
Why does Danny sound like a fucking 80-year-old man recalling his youth? He's fucking 16 he still is young.

"Now Dani, do you know how these work?"

"Well I've seen other people use them, one sits and the other pushes."

"Well that's one way, here let me show you."

My god you really think she is one, don't you? Like she's never seen anyone push themselves on a swing before and just copied them? Danny really has to teach her this!?

"I didn't know swinging was that complicated?"

And she thinks it’s COMPLICATED! (Or maybe Danny explained it in a needlessly complicated way.) No wonder she could be replaced by a flying sack potatoes with a loud speaker. She contributes nothing to the plot other than being there to get in trouble and yelling for mommy and daddy like a baby.

Shit, I take it back the way you write her she may as well be a one year old.

"However when she was torturing Phantom he REVEALED that she was half-human and that Vlad was evil. For some reason Valerie felt that he was telling the truth..."

NO, Valerie found out Danielle was half-ghost when she saw her go ghost with her own goddamn eyes. Also, what great writing she just believes the guy she hates and thinks is evil for no reason.
Just like how Dani shouts Daddy for no reason because why would you as the writer help us understand how she feels so her actions make sense or are at all justified, no characters should just do things because you need them to because you're too lazy to even half-ass a reason or can't remember what actually happened in the show.

“then I would have known why you would care for her."

Yes, because her being a child in danger of being killed isn’t a good enough reason, it only makes sense that he cares because she’s his daughter. WTF

“two Ghost do have emotions we can love, feel, cry just like any other human,”

What does this have to do with what she was asking him? She didn’t say anything about ghosts not having emotions though apparently, she does think this as we see later her surprise that Dani can cry but did, he read her fucking mind or something?

“I helped you rescue her a month ago from Vlad,”

“wait what did you say about Vlad?”

“I know Vlad Plasmius is Vlad Masters,”

They both know Plasmius’ first name is Vlad so he shouldn’t question her saying his name and he knows Vlad was the one who kidnapped Danielle so what was he even asking about? And why did she suddenly admit that? Was it just for no reason again so Danny could warn her about Vlad? Because you didn’t think through a reason why she’d reveal she knew that?

“Valerie listened to Phantom’s words, with Vlad being Phantom’s arch-nemesis he probably could describe him the best.”

1 How does Valerie know that Vlad is his arch-nemesis?”

“For some reason though she knew he was telling the truth,”

2 Why say “for some reason” if you’re then going to list reasons, she would believe him.

My god a lot of the dialogue in this story is horrible, who the fuck talks that way (these characters don't and real human beings damn well don't), they all sound the same too and also nice "As you know Bob" conversation. Earlier the narration said that Danny already explained all this so why is all this dialogue dedicated to him trying to convince her of what she already doesn't believe; he didn't even make new arguments.

"No you didn't, tell me have you grown closer to your father since then, he's around more and you do more stuff, am I right, you have true friends, you were rich and had popularity when you lost it you found out just what your friends were like, they abandoned you and treated you like trash, you met Danny Fenton and his friends who became your friends without popularity or money, you may have lost your wealth but you didn't lose anything of importance Valerie."

1 She already knew Danny Fenton and didn't like him.

2 They didn't even become friends until like Reign Storm.

3 Tucker and especially Sam still don't like her.

And how does this not freak Valerie the fuck out? How would Danny Phantom know that unless he was stalking her or something?

"Tell me ghost, if you really are telling me the truth and tell me why she's half-human." Valerie said pressing the button shocking Danny.”

"Fine, Danielle is a Halfa, she's a half-human, half-ghost hybrid, she has both human blood and Ectoplasm pumping through her veins, she can switch between a human and ghost and she can use some of her powers while she's a human."

Wow! Not only did he not answer her question he just said a bunch of shit we (Valerie and the readers) already fucking KNOW, again. (You trying to pad out the word count?)

"Valerie looked at her, those tears were real, ghosts can cry, which means she did have emotions."

Where did this ghost don't have emotions bullshit come from? She knows Dani is half ghost wouldn't she think that was the reason? Also, Danny already showed ghosts have emotions by caring about Danielle; because clearly, he loves her!

Sam patching up Danny is a fanon thing I don't understand, why would he need her to patch him up if he has a natural healing ability and pretty quick one too? Like if its a major injury sure but otherwise?

Nitpick: Danielle has definitely been in Danny's room before.

The media getting this story is her fault but Danny affirmed it so they can share the blame. Also he thinks Danielle first instinct is to run from trouble, that she caused. -_-

Why does Dani have a sudden guilt complex? As far as I can tell she visited him twice (as seen in canon) and neither time did she look like what happened weighted on her conscious at all when she left. And those problems were way more serious than this, she helped Vlad capture him and unwittingly helped Valerie captured him too.

“no matter who or what you are,” What is this supposed to mean? Seriously what is he trying to say here?

Considering the last time, she visited she was on the verge of dying I think she should be bit easier on herself about the “burden” thing.
Those aforementioned ( in my review) problems she caused weren’t really her fault, in my opinion, first time she made the mistake of trusting her father which up until a certain point she had every reason to and second time she didn’t really have a choice when trusting Valerie because she desperately (because again she was dying) needed to get to Danny.

Again, Danny has repetitive dialogue that doesn’t sound like him and while Dani’s dialogue is written slightly better but I don’t think she would some of these things.
Nitpick: Neither Danny nor Danielle have ever call themselves a halfa (Which I personally think is a dumb word.)
Why doesn’t he just teach her about and where the weapons/defenses are? He’s able to get around somehow why can’t she learn to?

“What about Vlad, what if he comes after me again.”

“Dani you know that I won’t let that happen if he comes after you…”

Right, Danny. I know you’ll do everything you can. /s