Hey there,
So, I've heard many good things about your Skaven stories from my better half Mennina.
And I thought, despite of still writing my Bachelor Thesis, I can give myself a bit of a look at what's in store for me, when I have more free time again. ;)
So don't expect many reviews in a short amount of time, but I will work my way through your two stories from now on.
Then let's begin with the prolog and the first chapter.

Your style of writing is good to read, I really like it. One can easily follow the path, you as the author has given us.
The details are great, maybe I would wish for a bit more specific details about certain things, but oh well, that is only my own taste I persume.
As a writer myself I can get a bit too explanatory in my stories from time to time.
But back to yours.
Well, it begins as all things do. With the birth of our "heroes"...if can call Skaven such a term.
It's nice to see the perspective of the "ratwife" as you called him and his fear of being punished, if the breeder doesn't deliver a certain quota. That's Skaven life for you.
And our, what I would persume main or two main chararcters in Chitik and Psody.
I've heard many things from my girlfriend about him specifically, so I'm really looking forward to seeing him develop.
I like your description of the other brothers and their interactions with each other.
In typical Skaven fashion they are at eacht others throat in a moment. Classic.
Psody's master is a handfull too. Typical Grey Seer with his scheming and planning...and probably backstabbing.
I really enjoyed your style of showing us their actions in their first mission together, the Eshin doing Eshin things and so on.
Then Chaos worshippers. Well, that's a nasty bunch of ugly bastards.
And from Slaanesh too, the Prince of Pleasure and Debauchery...
Ohh boy, that's a good start. The imprisoned breeder probably was lucky not to get to see too many tentacles...
It's really intersting, the thought about using the reproductive cycle to kill ones enemy.
But, coming from a biology background, I would rather make the breeder produce some kind of chaoticly warped offspring that isn't so far of from a real Skaven, that it would get passed of, as a strange one.
Then wait, until it multiplies in typical rat fashion and then initiate some sort of mass genocide, using the warped offspring.
Much more efficient, than killing just the few lucky Skaven, which get to lay with a breeder.
But besides that, the vision was very interesting too.
So definetly something about Lustria and the Lizardmen...maybe Lord Kroak with the big toad in bandages and the golden mask?
Either way, thats bad juju.
I'll see how Psody gets analyse this vision and get a bit more wary of his master. ;)
A really nice start into your story, I'm looking forward, when I get the time to read the next chapter!

Best regards,
Torbr

Hi SPX Special

I finally finished reading your fanfiction. Well, at least part 1. Since I write a lot myself and know that feedback is very helpful and motivating, I wanted to leave you a review even if English is not my native tongue, but I hope I can still make myself understandable.

First of all, I love Skaven. I was very excited, when I searched for Skaven fanfiction and found yours, because there are not many to find.
I’m so glad I that I did find yours though.

I like that you show how the society of the Skaven works with nice details. They are not very kind creatures. The strong live, while the weak die. Except if you have white fur and horns of course. Than the horned rat smiles upon you. ;)
I really like the six brothers. They’re so different to each other and present their clan's typical mindset. My favorite was Klur. I have a thing for Clan Eshin, I have to confess.

Losing Skal at the beginning did not really hurt. There was not enough time to form a bond to this character. Nearly losing Psody at the other hand was another matter. I was happy when he survived the attack.
Following him during his adventure was exciting and his conflict was great too.

What I also enjoyed was, that you did not forget his brothers. I shed tears, as Molly died. Till the end, I had hopes he would survive the arena. But life is a cruel mistress. Before I read your story, I had no sympathy for plague monks. But now... I really did like Molly, you know?

Then there was Klur. As he got shot, I thought "Oh no. Don't let him die! Come on, you already killed Molly!"
Well... you killed him as well. :(

After Klurs death, I enjoyed the few moments with Tweezil. Interesting Character AND he survived your Fanfiction. I saw you wrote a second part, so maybe I’ll meet him again.

As they found Heike, I was afraid you would kill her too. Luckily, she made it out alive.

Funny is, I almost never had that kind of fear losing a character I like, if the chapter jumped to Psody. There was a feeling of "They are safe! They are Safe!"
That does not mean, I didn't enjoy those chapters less than the others. I just was sure they would make it.

But... but... why Diassyon too? It was such a sad end. Only Chitik made it out alive.
It was sad, yes. Losing characters you like really hurts. On the other hand, this is a Skaven we are speaking about. Don’t feel safe for the characters you like so much, rather build up a... I guess "excitement" is the right word? Skaven lives are pretty much expendable after all.

Great job, really. I enjoyed every single word of your story so far. :)
I hope, you could understand what I was trying to convey. Writing reviews is much, much easier if it's in your native tongue.
Keep up the good work and I will start reading the second part, as you read these lines. ;)
With best regards, Meninna

This is some legit good story. Still sad you killed off the Clan Moulder brother.

Brisingr, that’s a reference isn’t it? That’s the exact word from the inheritance series of books in the elf language for fire.

Though I have yet to finish this story, I feel that I need to fave it because it's amazing! It's well-written, it's lengthy and it's engaging in so many ways! Fine work- hopefully, I can completely read this some day...

I had to make this account just so I could review your story. I have such a frustrating time with finding good fanfiction, but this was brilliant. I became so involved with the characters and the entire story was a great trip. I really looked forward to reading a new chapter each night. You've given me a great story so here's a great review. Thanks again.

A truly well written story. Only problems i had were some lore bits involving the clans mainly consisting of admitance to them and confusing his and her a lot. Also im pretty sure you meant face instead of faces most of the time.

Just finished chapter 11 and I really like the story so far. I am just feeling a bit ambivalent about Psody slaughtering his fellow skaven to the last in order to break the siege. I understand why he did it but I hope he realizes that he could have been one of them under different circumstances and that he starts showing more mercy in subsequent chapters. After all, he only got his second chance because someone took pity on him. The other skaven weren't so lucky.

Just finished chapter 11. Loving the story so far but I am feeling ambivalent about Psody being granted a chance to change his ways despite his many crimes and then having him slaughter other skavens without mercy. Given the fact that he was just like them a few months ago I would have hoped that he would show them some compassion.

Well, I just finished the whole story in only a couple of sittings. It was definitely a good and very original narrative and you managed to tie up the loose ends and bring completion to all the sub-plots very well (except maybe for Tweezil the assassin, I guess we’ll never know what happened to him in the end).

The fact that Psody and Chitik have completely different attitudes towards their own race is quite interesting. Psody has assimilated into human society and rejected most of his heritage so thoroughly that he seems to consider the ‘non-reformed’ skaven to be little more than vermin and sends the army to destroy Brissuc and kill the survivors who didn’t take part in the invasion. That’s something I found very harsh. Psody was able to reform his ways because people showed extraordinary compassion and patience towards him in spite of his crimes and the potential threat he posed but throughout the story he definitely isn’t very eager to extend the same courtesy towards his own people.

On balance I actually liked Chitik much better as a character. He accepts that the skaven are far from perfect but he prefers to reform or escape the worst aspects of their society without rejecting it completely (I liked the reference to clan Mors as a more ‘respectable’ skaven clan). Psody’s plan for the skaven to adopt the same lifestyle and customs as the humans would lead them to simply become ‘normal people in rat costumes’ which, imo, would be a bit of a loss considering that the alien and wacky aspects of the skaven are what makes them so interesting.

That being said, thanks again for the story! Definitely hoping for a sequel one day.

Just finished chapter 11 and I really like the story so far. I am just feeling a bit sad about Psody slaughtering the skaven to the last in order to break the siege, especially after we've seen that not all of them are intrinsically evil. I understand why he did it but I hope he starts showing more mercy to his former comrades in subsequent chapters. After all, he only got his second chance because someone took pity on him. The other skaven weren't so lucky.

I don't know why it took me so long to finally come back and read this thing but I'm sure glad that I did! Your writing makes me regret that I only know well one language. I hope you find success as a professional writer, in spite of how difficult it is to do so.

This was a great story. :)

game of thrones quots realy

I loved this series and thank you for writing it. Always thought the skaven were a fascinating bunch. Learn a lot about them from reading this and got to see some lizardmen, always fun. Hope to learn what becomes of the last brother and his band of survivors. I'm sure they made it and are well. Thanks again!