for some reason only part of my review submitted so I'm trying again. this is one of the first shape daughter stories I've read and I really like it. the only thing is be careful of making it too much inner dialogue vs human interaction. the key of making any character more relatable is their social interaction with the people they care about and in some cases seeing how human a grey or dark character is/can be will make them scarier and more compelling because it really makes you see that this could have happened to anyone even yourself. characters like that really hit home for me.

I like how you've done Snape and I really hope we can see how their relationship or lack of one develops in the future.

questionable and grey behavior

I've read all three chapters and like it so far. You put in a lot of detail and inner monologue type stuff, internal wmotions and the like I guess I mean, and that makes it really good.

The pace is good too at risk of sounding like Goldilocks its just right.

One thing I noticed is when you wrote its' in this chapter it shouldn't have had an apostrophe to make it posessive.

I like the characterisation of Snape, it's some of the best I've seen in a Snape OC story for a while. Keept that up. And poor guy feeling so defeated like that. I hope they have an argument soon so that he says those two little but all important words.

Simone is really good too. I like that hse'a broken inside but is still very strong and determined. I hope she gets better the more she starts to rrust and love her father.

I hope this is of some sort of help :)

I'm lookimg forward to reading more!

FuryPossesed

I absolutely love this story so far! :D I always adore stories in which Severus has a daughter, and there are so many unique elements to this one! Update soon! _

Poor Simone! Severus really needs to think before he acts with her! Looking forward to reading more!

Wow! I don't have any criticism to make, and the only thing I can say is keep going! The concept may have been pre-existing, but the execution is unique! I can't wait for the rest of this story!

Wow, this story is amazing. I absolutely loved every minute I was reading it! Your writing is superb and flows so well, and you have a unique story plot. Plus, you put in so much detail, which really adds to the story and the reader's experience. It felt like I was right there in the story! And your characters are well-defined, their personalities just jump off the page. I love how you add in Hermione, Harry, and Draco too, while keeping your own characters together. I will definitely be reading more when you get the chance to update :) Excellent job, and keep up the good work! You have the potential to be a great writer.

Loved it! My heart breaks for Simone to be bullied for years and having to live with a sickness as bad as she has I shed a few tears for her! Severus has a lot of making up to do with his daughter! I love how you made him a tool in her plan it shows how truly hurt she is and how scared she is to trust! Looking forward to reading more!

Brilliant first chapter! Severus has really messed up! Looking forward to reading more! Poor Simone! What illness does she have?

Marvelous. So much fanfic has all the Slytherins adoring Snape, who is a wonderful father figure to them in private. I look forward to seeing you develop their relationship.

please continue! love it!