Will there be more or is this abandoned

The instant he got back into his universe and mention of HP numbers on his computer screen I lost all interest in this.

See now, that's more like it. Seven .50AE rounds from a Desert Eagle not even scuffing the paintwork.

But, I spoke, to which this chapter has answered. The whole 'These are specifically the guns Arthur is stealing. He has this exact many everyone! With this much ammo as well!' really makes me gnash my teeth. I really don't care about that sort of thing, to be honest.

If you told me he raided a bunch of military bases for equipment then stockpiled it in a freshly-excavated cave outside of town, hidden by a Psionic Shroud, I would have been fine and dandy for him to whip out an M249 just because it's fun. I believe that people really don't give a single damn about the more focused numbers.

The amount of 'ands' written also really hurt to read, and, while I understand that avoiding the use of the word 'and' is quite difficult, it's still pretty bad to have 4 whole 'and's' used in a single sentence.

"He looked down, 'AND' he saw his own blood slowly making its way down the blade of a sword, 'AND' the rest of the sword was visible, 'AND' he could see the single drop of blood traveled('travelled', two L's boo) down the blade 'AND' touched the fat man's right hand." Four uses of 'and' is a bit extreme, don'tcha think?

I enjoyed the idea, but between silly writing, bad spelling/sentence structure and other irritating points, I'll be dropping this here.

NOW! I want you to know that in no way do I say this is, overall, a bad story, it isn't. It just...niggles me in that incorrect way, much as I believe my own 'By Tooth and Claw' story niggles StarCraft fans considering I have changed many things, like Creep not actually killing forests. The idea is good, the writing is at an acceptable level for other people, I'm sure, it just isn't for me.

But, I do honestly wish you the best! Good luck with your other stories if you continue them. I particularly would enjoy if The Swarm of War were to be re-written a little and continued, it is one of the reasons I started my own StarCraft story, though as you can plainly see, it was also not quite my cup of tea.

Ciao!

This chapter really pushed my limit for shrugging and going along with it.

A G36 with a C-mag? Really? That sounds way less cool than you think it does. Maybe a G11, or an ARX160, but a G36 with the 'testicle mag' isn't a very awe-inspiring image. Nor does it go well with the whole 'trench-coat detective' vibe you're building around Adams. It honestly just hurts to imagine this trench-coat wearing idiot running OUT OF COVER, shouldering his G36, then blasting 100 rounds out over 7 and a half seconds.

And the paint falling off? Ex-fucking-cuse me, WHAT?! A regular Astartes armour would have paint which doesn't even get marred by Bolt Pistols. Those PISTOLS fire the equivalent to .75 caliber. As in, OVER THREE TIMES AS LARGE as a 5.56x45mm NATO round. And apparently this absolutely pitiful round managed to DENT IT?!
...
Just...no. Those rounds would be like being pissed on by a squig for all the damage it'd do to that armour.

I really hope the rest isn't as horrifically inaccurate, or this will be a short read. Before this, I was enjoying the story, it had a good basis, and I like the idea of a psychopathic and ignored/abused kid getting these ridiculous powers, basically fucking with the world.

But holy shit did this chapter just say 'Fuck your established preconceptions.' in a bad way. Space-Marine armour getting dented by 5.56, fired from a gun wielded by a Western Wannabe, with the typical belt-busting career cop and a tragic past I already forgot (It involved arses or something I think.) just...really makes me worried that I'm gonna hate chapter 5.

I hope not, before this I was perfectly happy with the story.

I need more CHAOS!

It's been so long since I've reread this.

Dammit I need more evilllll it's makes my throb in my pants when I find a awesome evil self insert or OC mc I fkin heroes wish they all die

I can not wait for more this is one of the best stories that I have ever read in my life

I hope to see more in the future

*cough* Only chapter of the summer holidays you mean

All racism should disappeared and die.

Junko from Danganronpa is a descendant of Arthur?

This is in my a opionion a very nice and very fun fanfiction to read and it's therefore quite a shame that it's been 2 years now.

I remember when you still posted updates for your fanfics and I hope you start doing so again.

I'll pop in every now and then for a reread and to see if you've come back :)

1

it just gets worst and worst. At this point, I'm not even sure why I'm reading.