Awe! Love it SO much!

awwwee!

*Squeal* CCCCCCUUUUUTTTTTEEEEEE!

Loved it nuff said

I really loved your story.

Danny was so sweet as Santa and I liked how you described Tucker it was funny.

I hope you write more stories :)

THIS IS ADORABLE
THANK YOU

Awwwwww that is cute!

Heh, just imagine, what would happen if Sam some day finds out that Danny was Santa?

A very amussing fic indeed.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.

I love this I like the idea

ok WAY CUTE! :D nice job!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW! MERY CHRISTMAS!HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Cute little story for Christmas.

Hi,

I read your story. It was so cute, but I only wish that I could help you out with writing it.

I figure it's better late than never, so from me to you I will help you improve your writing.

I don't ever want to sound mean or critical, but at points it seemed almost clumsy. Also, some imagery could have been better. So I'm gonna take some sentences and say how you could write them better to make your writing more enjoyable. Hopefully you will not be quick to anger and will take heed.

Some of your endings are incorrect. Like 'delightfully' should be delightedly. A better word to use would be happily.

These paragraphs would flow better like this:

"You're 'it'!" Dani squealed delightfully to her cousin as she flew towards the mall, "You'll never find me!" Was the last thing Danny heard before she vanished. He smirked and turned around. "1...2...3...4..." He counted. Danny and Dani were currently playing hide and seek.

Sam had dragged Tucker to the mall because he had some last minute shopping to do and wouldn't do it if Sam hasn't taken him there. Sam just wanted to go for the Christmas spirit in the mall and Tucker's misery.

When you have them the way they were then its kind of like saying "It snowed today. Burritos."

This sentence: "You can't go past there to hide." Isn't specific. You can't go past where? You should instead get rid of it and the previous sentence and say "In the Phantom's game of tag, you can't go past Amity Park city limits." I'm not going to dissect all of your sentences and paragraph so I'll stick to saying just this- a lot of your sentences are like that, or pieces of them should be paired with different ones.

Sentences like this "She was surprised by his action" are clumsy. Instead you should say something like "This surprised her" or "She was surprised that he had done that" or "She was surprised by this". Shortly after you say "she looked at his face"... Wasn't she already looking at his face? Maybe instead you should say "She was surprised by this and looked into his eyes. He looked... happy." Or joyful, whichever you prefer...

This last bit isn't grammar. Instead of saying "making me realize my feelings for you" (because he always had them and knew they were there" you could say "Making me realize I should profess my love to you." Although both sound a bit grown up for fourteen year olds ;)

Merry Christmas.

THIS WAS HILARIOUS! I... I couldn't stop laughing. When Sam jumped on "Santa's" lap, I had to look away from laughing so hard. And Tucker... oh my gosh Tucker... xD I loved it! So... fluffy...

It's so mushy I puked on my dog.