my 1st review of this fic but wow. can tell you this story is [so far] amongst the best! I've read hundreds and its the plot, flow, characterize and execution that makes SL enjoyable to read. English and your grammar may {as you say} be a bit off but the above things are there so great job. hope this fic is finished but thanks for writing as much as you have. cheers.

Please update soon I think sasuke should stay loyal to konoha as the mission showed him he was strong as a team and Kakashi was actually teaching them

love the story hope to see more soon. defiantly one of the most orgenal storys i have read on the site

I always wondered why no one ever seems to give the Nara clan either a Kunai-with-Rope specialty or a ninja wire-weapons specialty, just wrap your enemy in rope or wire, and you have a direct line to their shadow.

Factoid: Eating food while walking or even outside of assigned dinning areas is practically taboo in Japanese culture. The one exception being ice cream cones and the like for some reason.

Iruka has alway been playing Naruto if he really cared about Naruto he would of helped with his chakra control or addressed his clone problems. I don't believe that he was unaware of the real problem behind Naruto's clone problem.

So, are we to take it that the overpowered Cloud ninja is going to be a main enemy?

I understand your happy passing up the wave arc, but the way you did forces us to assume that the leaf is going to leave wave to fall. Congratulations.

Hope you continue this eventually. It's been good so far.

Well, I must say that I'm interested on this story. Especially how you deviated from the canon, something that many don't dare to do often. Thought, I must say that the introduction of Tenten into the mix, is not that well received of my part, why? Let me clarify:

Canonically, Tenten isn't actually shown as an orphan. Truly, not much is know about her, even on the info books that have been released that add some deep into the characters. Her lack of family name, might be because she's part of a family that doesn't have one, or at least hasn't given her one. In some Asian cultures, the female doesn't gain a last name until they get married. In this case, Tenten seems to come from such an environment.

Now, canonically, Tenten has shown that she's actually attracted toward Sasuke, or at least finds him attractive, in the manga and the Anime, when they're on the second floor of the Chuunin exams and in front of the Genjutsu, she haves an inner dialogue where she openly states how she finds Sasuke attractive.

Later, we know that she's close to Neji as they normally train together. But nothing seems to truly hint of a more deep relationship going on there. So far, canonically they seem to be good friends, but nothing more from that, apparently.

Then, we fall into confusing territory, she's been actually shown as pretty close to Lee, it's even teased in the chuunin exams that something is going on with them. Especially as she tries to wake up Lee after he had been beaten by the Oto Shinobi. True, that was set as a comedy moment, while exploiting such a trope of the beautiful maiden waking up the boy that was profoundly asleep.

Later, it's shown that when Neji dies, she isn't even affected by that, actually she doesn't even shed a tear. And it's more worried by Lee's distraught self, than anything else. Later it's even shown that she curses Neji for dying and leaving her alone to control Lee and Gai without help.

Now, why I'm putting this information here? Well, it seems that while this story is definitely an AU. You're grasp of the character shown some hints of the Fanon interpretation than the Canon one. (It's Canon, as Cannon is a weapon). And sadly, you're about to fall into one of the pitfalls that you said you are trying to avoid.

The introduction of another girl that would in the end, fight willingly or unwillingly for Naruto's attention, creating romantic tension between the pre-teens.

I feel, that at this point, and thanks to what had happened to them in the last months, romance would be the last thing on their minds, and the last thing they actually need. They now all have a price on their heads, and let me remind you, because you don't seem to know that particular detail, or in this case had forgotten about it.

Kumo had desired an Uzumaki too, probably even more than a Hyuga and an Uchiha. They went first for Naruto's mother, because of her bloodline. The fact that he's an Jinchuuriki sweetens the deal. So that whole team is simply, the main focus of Kumo right now, as everything they desire from Konoha is simply packed in one single unit.

IF, you want to talk sometime about your plot, or haves doubt about what an character does, or anything else regarding your story. Feel free to PM, me. I have also been writing an Naruto story on English and been publishing the chapters on a Yahoo group. (I will not publish it until I feel satisfied with the content).

And if English isn't your first language, Es español el primero? Or is it something else?

Still, thanks for the story. It's certainly interesting.

Nice story. The pressure is really on. I can't wait to see what happens. Please update soon.

I love reading this fic! I can't wait for an update!

I hope this story is not dead...

very absorbing, i think this is done quite well

Cool chapter, patiently waiting the update.