More!

its cute its a shame this is dead

Good story. Hope you update soon.

Update soon...

[Continued]

As I was saying before I became about as primitive as a monkey with my fingers; I would wish you would not use so many spaces in the lines, as some of the details are left away from each other and it becomes confusing.

Overall though, I must say I enjoy your writing and hope to see a few of my tips not left out :P

Thanks!

Hmm...

The overall first chapter went along pretty well. But I have to admit, it would have done a bit better had there been some more detail and background setting. I can't judge a story by its length as long as it's good, and yours is pretty wonderful, but the overall idea of it almost seems a little bit cliche? I don't know... I just had that kind of gnawing sensation in the back of my head.

The second encounter I ran into is that giving Erza Fire Dragonslayer Magic is a little over the top. Some people like a "god-like" character by it usually doesn't mix well if the story isn't written to where it could work. Maybe you could give a little more insight on how this kind of transfer happens, or, maybe giving us a hint on how quickly her powers would grow over the storyline.

The last problem I had was the fact that this story seemed a little bit rushed. Try putting some more detail and commas in speech, along with cutting down on sentence length. Also, some of the sentences in a lot of the

I like it very much. Please continue this story.

Update pls

plz continue

more please

Please make more

AAGH! Can't wait! -Myra

Try not to add mirajane like shinji01ikari. Just Natsu and Erza pairing, so in the future chapter, the story plot will be different with shinji01ikari.
well, I'll add this story as my fav :)

Hello there, i think that if you edit the story and make the chapters make sense, then you will have a great story on your hands. Great job so far!

you better not add mirajane like shinji01ikari