Christmas will be in six months, but I couldn't resist the temptation to read the story now. I haven't read Dicken's book but I have seen plenty of adaptations, so I have an idea of what it is about. I must say yours it's a great job.
Susan feels authentic to the Susan Lewis briefly described in the LB, a young girl too attached to materialism and beauty. Some think that maybe she was too hurt for being 'banished' from Narnia, that she convinced herself it was all fantasy. I think so too, and that's why I love the stories where she finds somehow the way back, and I'm convinced she did it. For "once king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia" Even when Susan's fate in the las book seems unfair or sad, it's not the end for her. Thank you for taking the challenge of creating a better future for her.

That ending was just appropriate. A new Susan, happy and loving, indeed gentle.

Merry (not quite almost) Christmas!

What a wonderful conclusion! I had tears in my eyes at Susan's gifts for Brett and his wife and the message to go with them, and I couldn't help but be affected by her enthusiasm upon waking, after showering, and while frolicking with the jeweler's son. And of course, all teary-eyed with those last 4 paragraphs - her redemption, embracing her past with her siblings and in Narnia, and finding Him here at last. Favorite line this time, believe it or not, wasn't even the last one but this one: "And she did return." It's so rife with meaning; return to the Lion, to the Lamb of God, return to Narnia or more accurately (if I'm remembering LB correctly) return to Aslan in his country, the homeland of the Emperor Over The Sea, for which even Narnia is but a shadow of that realm.

What a lovely, lovely Christmas story. Thanks for sharing!

I loved how you wove Narnia and Dickens' Carol together, how you adapted Carol to a Narnian tale with situations that make sense to Narnia. I loved your running with Lewis's hints and ideas of how the material world meant more to Susan than anything else, with her doing her utmost to preserve her youth and beauty - because that meant more to her than anything else - and how that ultimately backfired since all the cosmetic surgeries pretty much made her look like a clown, and how the Susan of now could see that in her future self. You kept Susan's confusion intact as she beheld what the Spirit showed her - much as Dickens did with Scrooge - when she first beheld these future events yet didn't follow the original too closely, twisting it instead to what made sense for Lewis's characters. And not only did the Spirit speak, but it echoed its' brethren and flat out told Susan Who she needed to turn to: for the Day means nothing if you don't remember for Whom it is celebrated.

I don't even know what to say...

Beautifully done … imagery is fabulous … what Peter-Spirit showed Susan, Christmas as it could've been with a man who adored her and how it is with people she's finding out she doesn't even know, all this present Christmas … the depth of her fears, that she had done too much, hurt too many for Aslan to forgive her and her greatest hurt, 'He sent me away' vs 'He sent you back', a tiny word change that makes all the difference … and Peter, as Lucy had done before, trying to get her to see she was sent back to know Him better in *this* world, to know Him here too and not just in Narnia … just all of it, wonderfully, wonderfully done. And the message slowly sinking into Susan's head, into the readers'. Just … kudos; kudos for all of it.

Aha! The Spirits *are* her siblings! It does make the most sense (as Susan said last chapter, it's only logical).

I love how you blended Dickens with Narnia, and the descriptions and style are beautifully rendered. It stays true to Lewis, while still being yours. I love the dialogue between Susan and Lucy, Susan working through and out the things that had so negatively affected her in her past and how Spirit-Lucy tries to get her to understand the truth now. Yet it still follows "A Christmas Carol." Very well done all the way around.

I like this better than how "The Chronicles of Narnia" ended because although I understand what Lewis was doing by making Susan no longer a friend of Narnia, I love what you're doing even more: there's always hope, always a way to come back to Him and as long as you do it before death, you can always come back to Him. I don't think Lewis would mind your adjusting his message; after all, the Bible is full of stories of sinners and those who turned their backs on God coming back to Him before the end - and being forgiven and welcomed home. It's the reason I was so excited when I saw this story in your library and had to read it. It's a lovely, lovely story. Thank you for writing this!

What a fun parody, combining Narnia with Dickens. I recognize lines and phrases from both; my favorites being the Professor muttering about what they teach in school these days and always winter and never Christmas. I was also amused by Granger (but that's only because of a NUM story I'm working on with Colby Granger; seeing the name here just made me grin). I know Dickens, of course, (and am tempted to read the book now) so I know where it's going but I'm looking forward to seeing the Narnian twist in it. I can say I was smiling reading this first chapter - they do pair rather nicely, don't they? - and I'm curious as to who you'll use as the Christmas Spirits. At first I thought Peter, Edmund, and Lucy but in the 'Disclaimer', you only mention Susan, not the other Pevensies, so now I'm unsure. But I'll find out soon enough!

Sorry, but I didn't easily like the fact that Susan stopped believing in Narnia. If I were Susan, I'd still believe in Narnia no matter what, like Lucy.

OH my. I fear words are wholly inadequate to express my thoughts regarding this story. But, for what it's worth...

Wow. Just wow. Flawlessly written. Perfectly combines two of my absolute favorite stories. I like how she didn't recognize the three Ghosts at first. That makes it more realistic both in a literal and a spiritual/metaphorical sense. And Professor Kirke was an added touch of genius. (I'm trying to phrase this review as carefully as I can to avoid spoilers, if possible...)

These two stories fit together seamlessly...or, is it simply because of your writing genius? I wanted this story to go on and on...yet, at the same time you kept it at the perfect length. Easily digestible, yet rich in imagery.

Absolute, sheer, unadulterated golden story.

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nice

Wonderfully done! I always hoped - and believed - that Susan must eventually join Aslan and the others... :-)

Ooo...looking forward to this!

You're so right about the different types of cold... I have always felt so awful for Susan - what a terrible thing to be the only one left.

This was brilliantly written. I love your choices for the ghosts and for Susan. Excellent story!

Amazing job! Its great to see Susan finally believing again. And using her siblings as the Ghosts of past, present and future was genius nd the Professor visiting her as a ghost instead of Jacob Marley. Keep up the good work and may all your stories be better than the last one.

I know it's still 4 months 'til Christmas, but you have some of the best Narnia stories on this site and I really wanted to read this, so... :P

All in all, a wonderful job! I had a feeling the three spirits would be her siblings, and I enjoyed reading each one. A nice merge for the classic tale and our beloved series.

Wonderful job!