I really liked the story (it did make Mary, as you said, more vivid and human), and I liked your interpretation of what it would be like to be human and without sin. As to the complaint of "368235," far be it from me, a non-Catholic, to argue with a Catholic about Church dogma, but it seems to me that the idea that someone without sin cannot have a moment of human weakness is clearly contradicted by Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34. But I do have one Biblical complaint: If you think Moses was only 100 when he died, you need to read your Old Testament! (Deuteronomy 31:2 and 34:7)

um, ok. it's a little contradicting, what you're saying. you're definitely 13 and I'm sure that has a lot to do with the way you wrote Mary believing that her own value is only worth her feeling relevant and famous. you have to know that that is not Roman Catholic at all (which you mentioned you were) and doesn't make sense in relation Jesus' quote "he who values his life will lose it." you mention that you believe Mary to have been sinless, which, yes, correlates with Catholic theology (the Immaculate Conception) but then, logically, she wouldn't be capable of sinning in desiring the perceived excitement you describe: "Maybe it was the looming imminence setting her on edge, or maybe it was thinking about the long, tedious years ahead. Either way, the necklace was a chain, tying her down to her little town of Nazareth instead of being able to see the world and all its glory." clearly, your Mary doesn't think her place in the world is good enough as is and only gets excited when she gets news that she'll get to be the great King God's mother. ever hear of the sin of pride? theologically, you see, your story makes no sense and is a bit insulting to Mary if you really venerate her. otherwise, you have a nice style. I would keep writing if I were you, but be careful with re-writing the Bible because a misinterpretation can be disastrous to the sentiments of your readers and to your own reputation as an author.

This is beautiful. I love the song 'Mary Did You Know', and I hope you do write more bible fanfics (although I understand if you choose not to). I really enjoyed reading this. Everything flowed together and I didn't take my eyes off the screen for a minute. Fantastic :)