This was an incredible piece of TF Prime fiction! There aren't enough stories that are gripping adventures in the same vein as the show, and you captured it perfectly! I must admit Optimus Prime almost shooting Knockout was unexpected, but to be fair he's probably had to kill a lot of Decepticons. Kind of shows how far Cybertronians as a whole have sunk. Everyone else was completely in character, by the way. Especially Knockout being conflicted about whether or not to leave Jack was perfectly in character for him, since he just seems to be a mass of walking contradictions. Overall a great story :)

I loved this fic! It was so awesome, I was literally hopping up and down in excitement while reading it! Your writing was brilliant, characterisations were flawless... It was all just so incredibly amazing! I absolutely loved Knockout in this fic, and I loved how you portrayed Soundwave as well. While watching the series, it was strange cause for some reason I didn't think Soundwave would be the type to lie about anything, but this story has explored a lot more of how he thinks, and you've done a fantastic job. I am definitely gonna be reading the sequel for this! :)

Wow! This was so good! I've been trying to find a well-written TFP fanfic for a while now, and this is the best one so far. Also, I super love that you wrote this way before Knockout actually DID join the Autobots! Haha

Knockout would make a great guardian for June. Great work on this story!

I liked this a lot. Knockout and Jack's interactions were great and the sense of danger was well conveyed. Definitely my favorite out of your stories. Well done!

I see Wendy has made a quest appearance...Before he became Wendy. I almost feel sorry for Soundwave. Almost.

This was great- I have to read the sequel now. The characters are done fantastically; I especially love how you kept Knockout in character through his deal with Jack, because no WAY would Doc Knock have just agreed out of sheer kindness. Lovely work.

OHHHhohohoho this is too good.

OH GOD I AM LOVING THIS STORY! Everyone is so in character and everything about it is just perfect! Screw going to bed at a decent time, I'm going to stay up to finish this wonderful fic!

Omg,, I don't know why but this makes me want to ship OP/KO (optimus prime/knockout)
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.I LOVE IT

Chapters 7-11

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Is it not ironic how a feminist such as yourself, who whines on and on about gender not being fairly represented, not create a single female character of her own or even use the few female characters in here – such as Arcee – as all? Hypocrisy, thy name is woman!

You write Soundwave being ‘visibly shaken’ by the resonance blaster, and seconds later, write that he isn’t. Pick one instance and stick with it.

Le sigh. Arcee is good at pacing in the Autobot base, and the Autobots are good at doing...absolutely nothing. Girl, what were you thinking when you wrote this? This is God awful.
Come on.

“I wasn’t always a ground-pounder” – Ah, the fan theory that he had an aerial mode? I doubt it. He’s always been an automobile enthusiast.

The Nemesis is at an unknown height in the Earth’s atmosphere. We don’t know exactly, because the author didn’t tell us, and I suspect that she doesn’t really know. Knock Out is going to take Jack, who has no gear, no protection, out the airlock. I hope you realize that without the proper equipment at a certain height, a human’s bones can break, and the chest cavity is especially vulnerable. It’s not hard to research sky-diving and the dangers associated with those who jump at really, really high altitudes. Remember the guy that made the jump at the edge of space? Everyone told him he would have died. He managed to live, got a world record, but in the end, proved a great study of the limits of the human body.

If an airlock’s open you wouldn’t be able to hear anything, especially Laserbeak.

Jack’s going to make the call while free-falling? What in the name of...? No. Just no. That would never happen.

June is counting on Arcee to bring Jack home? But all she’s done is do nothing! She’s broken her basic promise because of Reasons, and even when KO is clearly the one doing the rescuing, June still trusts Arcee, who failed her basic role of guardian? What kind of logic is this that you’re using?

There’s no way the Autobots would ever trust KO that quickly. His reputation precedes him. He also wouldn’t save a human unless it meant to save his ass, or as a bargaining chip, again, to save his ass. Not only that, but Megatron was IN THE ROOM THE ENTIRE TIME the fight went down between him and Soundwave. You never wrote him leaving. Why would Megatron believe that KO had betrayed him that quickly, and that easily? He knows KO isn’t the most consistent dude of the crew, but he’s still a Decepticon, and he is a gifted medic. He’s also an engineer when Shockwave is not around, so Megatron needs him.

I’m still confused about the whole Autobot virus thing. Okay, Soundwave has it and doesn’t want it to be traced to him for the leak of the Iacon files. But it isn’t like they’re stuck in the mud. They can just track the Autobots, steal the relics, and get rid of them, as well as purge and protect whatever data didn’t get leaked. Soundwave is being unrealistically stupid, and he’s not even close to that. Why would he frame KO? If anything, he’d want to barter with him, tell him he knows of KO’s duplicity, and blackmail him, if Soundwave feels like it. KO wouldn’t be that stupid, either, especially not be THAT outspoken. Yes, he’s been outspoken many times, but this is ridiculous. He has consistency of a melting popsicle. Jack and the other characters were good for nothing; they were backgrounds there for show. Arcee, especially. What did she do?

Nothing. She let Jack go. She didn’t try to go and save him. She didn’t try at all to talk to KO to get him back. If she ventured on the Nemesis to find Optimus Prime, she’d do it for Jack. Yet here, she was pacing around, mouthing off to everyone else, and June had the nerve to entrust her son’s life to her. With incompetency such as that, she would be a good guardian for long.

These chapters are easy reads, so once again, I combined reviews so I wouldn’t repeat myself. Like the last time I read this, it’s still bad. You don’t have much to offer your readers and you are a glaring, walking hypocrite, and more of this hypocrisy will be pointed out in your future stories.
Is this meant to be set in the Transformers: Prime universe? I couldn’t tell. It read like a badly written original work with robots.

Chapters 1-6

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You state right in the beginning ‘thoughts and criticisms are appreciated’, but I don’t think you really appreciate them. The last time I made a visit, you stated on your tumblr: ‘I just got four reviews from this person. They were hilarious!’ Classy. In any case, it seems you’ve doubled over on the derp and it’s time someone told you where you’re going wrong. You also state that: ‘I’m good with ideas and I think I’m pretty smart’. Lol, no. I’m here to tell you why, and no amount of reblogging on tumblr is going to help you.

Let’s start with this conundrum.

For one, you complain that there is a gender problem in Transformers and that Arcee isn’t a ‘proper’ female character, yet she acts like an intolerable Mother Hen. Jack is irresponsible and Raf has a computer in the middle of nowhere – of COURSE the Decepticons are going to pick up the signal – and BB is using a medical drill to tear through rock. Yeah...you wish. Medical drills / mining drills. The latter is meant for going through solid rock. The former, for softer materials. It should be common sense. Jack and Raf move away from the noise, but are so far away as to not notice Decepticons appearing out of nowhere and for the Autobots not to hear them. Knock Out wonders why they got there before he did, which is a no-brainer.

About Knock Out. He screams every other sentence. He has no strength. He is useless. Soundwave frames him for a virus that leaked the Iacon information to the Autobots even though most of it hasn’t been decoded yet (so both have a chance at finding the relics) and Knock Out and Soundwave fight. But in the previous paragraph it’s written that Megatron is still in the room. He then disappears. So did Megatron watch, or not watch, the whole thing? Jack was also a witness because he wasn’t moved to another location, and this all happens on the same day the relic was taken. Instead of shutting down the virus – as Soundwave would try to do – they waste time fighting. Even if Soundwave made an error like that, he would try his best to reverse it. Here, he randomly attacks and frames Knock Out because he doesn’t want to be punished for lying. This doesn’t make much sense when you think about it. For some reason, the Autobots got the coordinates when the kids were on the Nemesis, and took their sweet time to get the relic when the Decepticons could have gone after it. The amount of effort to get this relic astounds me. Are they just juggling around nonsense, or are they going to do their job?

Knock Out also considers joining the Autobots far too quickly. Megatron is brash, sure, but he really has no reason to lose his collective shit over this one incident where worse has happened. He can just go and sabotage the Autobots, or have Soundwave make a virus for Raf’s computer to scramble their systems. But here, KO considers joining the Autobots because he’s being framed for ridiculous reasons, and this moral code system ventures on third-grade level mentality. With! Exclamation! Points!

“It was a stupid idea then and it’s a stupid idea now” – In which the author describes her story.

Why IS Knock Out helping Jack? This is the shortest hostage situation I’ve ever seen. It might as well be a Dateline NBC episode, without Chris Hansen. Knock Out may be vain but he’s not this stupid. He wouldn’t start believing anything a human says, especially Jack. Just because he pulls the You Can Be Better card, it’s not going to work lickety-split. There needs to be build-up. KO is also Megatron’s medic, and it’s painfully obvious that Knock Out didn’t start the whole fiasco. Soundwave wouldn’t have a reason to lie, not to mention not having a reason to take Jack along for the ride. He could have thrown him out of the airlock.

The author has the nerve to say the characters are in character. Ha! Sorry, love, but that’s the farthest thing from the truth.

Good

This. Was. Awesome. It was JUST like an episode of the show-maybe even a step above the show in quality! Spot-on characterization, suspenseful plot twists, touching moments-man, I LOVED it! Good work!

Good God. This gets worse and worse, doesn’t it? You can’t expect me to believe anything you just wrote, can you? From someone who spends so much time wailing about how there are not enough Strong Female Characters in the TF franchise, your actual commentary is, again, sorely lacking. What the fuck am I reading here? Why didn’t Megatron take Jack right away? Why didn’t Soundwave actually DO something about the virus? Why does Knock-Out suddenly decide in less than five minutes that he’s going to be an Autobot, which is wholly unrealistic. But I guess you slopped this all together like your shitty art in those rolls of fat and decided this would be the best thing since Leo Tolstoy.

Did Jack fall out of the Decepticon warship with no respirator or nothing to protect his organs? Because at those altitudes and at that speed, every one of your bones would break like a twig and you would likely suffocate due rapid exposure to that air. Science, bitch.

Not to mention you made Arcee a completely useless bitch. She falls into that Useless Woman archetype that does nothing but bitch and moan – the stereotype you and other feminists loathe. It amuses me to no end to see you use the archetypes and tropes you claim demean women.

I have read this disaster of a fic to the end and thank God it is short. Not only does Knock-Out act like a useless faggot, he is more emotional and useless than he is in the show, and since you can’t stop going bonkers after every gay or allegedly gay, no wonder this sucks total cocks! Literally! Do you honestly expect me to believe any of this? Everyone had no purpose or rhyme or reason, and one of the most useless characters in this crap-fest was, not surprisingly, Arcee. She does nothing but whine. Knock-Out is a complete pussy and probably has wet dreams about Breakdown because I AM TRYING TO KEEP CHARACTERS IN CANON.

So, you want criticism? Alright, I’ll give you some of mine. This is awfully written from beginning to end, and for someone who is one of those feminist cunts who complains about this or that and actually doesn’t do shit about it, your social commentary is, again, sorely lacking. These characters are absolutely horrible; the story-telling abominable, and none of these things would fucking happen if someone actually did their job. You did the same stunts the show did: no cameras on the Nemesis despite Soundwave being the expert in that shit, and OMG Lazerbeak died! Who cares? He wasn’t even there for five minutes. And Knock-Out, being a complete idiot here, jumped into situations without even using his own damn eyes. No wonder everyone sees him as gay; being that much of a dumb fruitcake I am surprised he is still alive. The AllSpark must’ve been like: ‘Fuck this guy. I hope he gets fucked’ and then made him.

Holy fucking shit, was this ever awful. You’re an awful writer and your art is something for the ages, too.

BTW – That moshy guy? I wasn’t the first one, but the second instance was me. I wanted to see how riled up with HEY LOOK AT HOW SMART I AM memos and all the dick-rubbing between idiots. It really did work.

I give this an F for fail. Complete crap. Into the trash it goes.