Very well-developed and explored. You have a very natural gift of taking only a sliver of an idea or information and then running with it - and with great results. It's very unique to see someone delve deeply into the human heart and elaborate, elaborate, elaborate - especially when it comes to fanfiction. It's not really an empirical matter that can be broken down in an equation of success or data - only, I can say that it is an innate ability to infuse life into writing, and you, my dear, have it. Some people are great story-tellers in the sense that their stories are exciting to follow; other people are great writers that can work magic with the text itself. Judging from this piece alone, I think you have all-around skill, but are definitely more of the latter, as it is the text itself that is outstanding versus the kinetics of what actually happens in this piece.

It can be difficult, at times, to translate a world that we all know and love from a video game into a fiction that can remain true to the source and carry on it's same themes, tone, and believability, but this fic raised the bar for others. This was an unexpected find but a true pleasure to read.

A few technical aspects to address: your writing style is very natural and fluid, which makes reading both easy and enjoyable. Your characterizations and dialogue stand out to me in particular, and I envy your ability to develop passages of conversations - and transitions. Descriptive writing strikes the balance between being believable and being trite and almost cartoonish. In short, you have good sensibilities in how you conduct your story.

Again, very well-done. Thank you very much for sharing this piece.

Oh, that was just the sound of my heartbreaking... But wonderful story! Beautifully written!

Beautiful story! Loved every word!

Once again you've proven your ability to write vivid characters that come visually to life in the scenes with your amazingly subtle details - little actions some (including myself) miss, you never neglect them or overdo them either. You have true talent, absolutely Awesome write!

Loved it! Sad, but really good.

Aw, that's so sad. Kind of how I felt after I beat the questline the first time

Perfectly describes the relationship I think most females have with Brynjolf. Outstanding piece of work.