Sometimes, specific scenes from your story pops up in my head and I feel the urge to read them again. Lately, I’ve been thinking about that moment in LIALTHI where Quinn waits for Santana in the choir room while she sees her parents for the first time after the attack.
At first I wasn’t sure what drawn me to it. I realized it was one of the rare times where Quinn’s altruism is clearly shown. We’re not used to see her as the caretaker. Santana is usually depicted as the “mom friend”: we know she cares deeply for her friends and her countless acts of selflessness are highlighted throughout the story. But while she’s the protective one, Quinn is maybe the most empathetic and compassionate. She feels for others, she really does. And this scene emphasizes it.

I really liked the fact that it happened when they were not in a good place. Quinn is furious and heartbroken. Yes, she wanted to patch things up, but she stayed behind not because she wanted to have a chance to talk, but because she knew Santana needed her. She didn’t even know Santana’s dad would disown her. “No matter what Santana and I had going on between us, I couldn't let her face the aftermath of her parents' visit alone.” That’s beautiful.

Quinn’s selflessness, albeit less noticeable than Santana’s, is a recurring theme in your story. She’s constantly thinking about how her actions could affect other people. From the onset: "I didn't know…I didn't know, Santana. I would have never said those things if I had known." to the night of the attack: “What I had wanted was to provide any support that I could to Santana. […] What I shouldn't have done, was put my shit on her tonight of all nights. It was awfully selfish of me.” Sadly, I think this quality comes from the expectations that were put on her by her parents. It’s also the reason why she second-guesses herself so much. “What would people think…” is so close to “What would people feel…”

The way she reacted to the attack was also very telling: “People seemed to ignore or forget the fact that this was a horrible attack that was motivated by Santana's sexual orientation. Santana was a badass, we can all agree, but what happened to her would shake anyone to their core. Worse yet, Santana was not exactly the sort of person who would reach out for help or support when she needed it.”

Quinn understands people, she sees them (I don't think she became a photographer by accident). She was there for Rachel when things with Finn became complicated. She’s the one who thought about the impact her relationship with Santana would have on Brittany. She knows not to corner Santana when they’re talking about her intimacy issues. She also feels people’s pain: “I was so young that I couldn't recognize the overwhelming feeling of helplessness for what it was. […] Her pain was always more unbearable for me than my own. […] I've never been able to just do nothing when I can see that she's hurting. […] Her eyes are definitely glistening with the threat of tears, and it breaks my heart.”

The only times we really see her selfishness is in her relationship with Santana. She says it herself: "You are the one part of my life that no one has pushed me to go after. You are the one thing that is just for me. You are the one thing that I have done completely for myself. I chose you of my own accord. I am not with you for my parents, or my popularity, or my grades, or my reputation…You are all mine. My choice. My love. My everything."

Interestingly enough, it’s also the reason of their break up. Quinn didn’t need her parents’ approval to date Santana. But people’s expectations kept her from coming out. The dichotomy in Quinn’s personality between self-centeredness and compassion is what makes her an interesting and compelling character, imo.

It casts a new light on Quinn’s motives to cut all ties with her friends. She lost “her everything” in the breakup, or at least the one thing she chose for herself. Was it selfish to leave everyone behind? Maybe. But she needed it and I can’t blame her for that, not one bit. It was hard on her part and the guilt must have been excruciating: “Brittany is the person that I felt the worst about. I knew she wouldn't understand. How could she? I never wanted to leave her behind. I loved her. She was also the last person in the friend group that I wanted to know about my relationship with Santana. She would have been so hurt if she knew that we were together. I was the person that she confided in the most when it came to her feelings for Santana. I was sure that she would have felt completely betrayed.”

In some way, staying “friend” with Santana would have been worse for Brittany and the others. The times they didn’t speak to each other greatly affected the dynamic of the group: “This ignoring each other thing that you do every few weeks is uncomfortable for me and everyone else who is around. I won't spend another couple months of only getting to see one of you at a time like I had to this summer." By leaving, Quinn didn’t make them choose between the two of them. She let Santana keep their friends (because she knew she needed them more than her?). It’s a good parallel to your last chapter and Santana’s withdrawing: “What is it with you two thinking that friends are so dispensable?" (Sadie with the good questions).

Tl;dr: I love Quinn, I love this story and your understanding of these characters is remarkable.

Holy fuck I'm so upset I wanna puke.

I usually hate reading first person so I kept skimming and passing this story and then I decided to give it a chance and boy am I happy I did. This story is not only funny but sweet sensitive and incredible. Seeing as I myself am a Quinn Fabray in this case it made the story relatable and I loved every moment of it. And now I look forward to reading the sequel.

I thought exactly what Quinn thought at the cliffhanger in the last chapter. That is eas a car

normally I don't review till I get to the end but u r freaking hilarious!

Man.. I Love This Story. I Love The Series! I Do Hope You'll Finish The Sequel.

It's been a good 18 months, if not more, since I read this wonderful story - think it's time for a re-visit!

Please finish the follow up cx

WHAT?! it's over?! this chapter had me teary.. I just wanna shake them and make it all better!

man.. my emotions are all over the place for these 2!

Oh, i love Rachelle Lefevre! Jealous Quinn is my favorite Quinn LOL

I read this whole story and absolutely loved it. You portrayed Santana and Quinn's characters perfectly. It sucks that they didn't stay together but it makes sense. This took me like for days to read it, but very worth it. I don't really know what else to say but it was awesome. Best quinntana, maybe even fanfic I have ever read. Great story lol

Loved it! Such an awesome story! 3

Cannot wait for IBYM update! xx

As a quasi author myself (pun not intended) I'm always really worried about like, making sure not to intentionally address the audience breaking the 'fourth wall' if you will but still getting the neccessary information across to my readers. Somehow though, you manage ti do it so flawlessly. "Pain meet pleasure" (or something to that extent you said). When Quinn 'speaks' to herself it's always confessional but never directly towards us and it never breaks that transparent divide between us and I personally find that to be pretty incredible.
I also just love the way you crete conflict in their relationship. It never feels forced or like you're grasping at straws, making filler chapters or making up problems. They all have reasons and justifications and they all seem completely plausible and you never drag things out and you make it very clear that their lack of communication is a huge issue throughout some of this (like in the hotel I believe, favorite scenes) and it's almost pivotal to their relationship and even when you do it in something as small as this chapter. I don't know I just think it speaks to how awesome you are to sort of make a subtle emphasis of that.
Okay, I know, long review, but I mean this is what you get for being too good. I also just love your character development and I feel like I've already said this too much but just like, I love it. You hold nothing back and it's refreshing.
In summary, quit being a lawyer (congrats btw) and become an author and let me know when you're published.