Thank you for the story
I am glad you aren't completely stoping the story line and I hope to read more soon

Oh poor Alex
I hope to read more soon

lol that last line is funny cuz the saying lier lier pants on fire lol update soon

please make the chapters longer, i am looking forward to finaly seeing axel and roxas together and when will alex tell the others

i'm confused is this about axel and roxas or alex?
if its about him then maybe you should add that to your summary

Other than working on your grammar a little bit, I would say this isn't too bad from what I can see. There's nothing a grammar/spelling checker wouldn't pick up anyways. Except for one thing that popped up a couple of times. I thought at first it was just a typo, but you did it twice, so I'll point it out.

For instance, you have this part here:

"His d-dead," I said in a quiet, broken voice, I wasn't even sure he could hear me through the glass. "There all dead."

And this one as well:

"His still asleep, I'll bring him home when he wakes up."

Other than what I've mentioned, it's alright. I feel bad for Roxas though. That's got to suck.

Anyways, I wish you all the best with your writing. Take your time and have fun! :)