Fix that grammar bro...

Did you chuck the Spanish version into Google Translate? Because that's what it reads like. I would suggest fixing the grammar mistakes in here, maybe by getting a Beta reader or just having a friend help you with it. Also, hyphens are not quotation marks. Instead of something like
- Will you be my girlfriend? -
it would be
"Would you be my girlfriend?"
Just a couple of tips.

This story is shit.