I think you should write more when you can as it is really good so for, a nover one like this one but make it cute,please and thank you.

That was a really climactic ending - Bunny changing into his crazy six-armed monster form and taking away Pitch's hope - and your writing's improved a lot! I know you mean for this to be the end of the story, but I I really think it needs an epilogue. Nothing too long or fancy, just a little bit of falling action where we see how Jack's healing (or not healing) before rolling to a close. This one feels just a smidge too abrupt as an ending for the whole story.

Wow I think this is my favorite story with of Jack almost becoming the fearling prince. I really liked your concept of possession. I'm really glad you came back to finish this. The finale was epic. Great work.

Nooooooooooooo!
You've gotta continue!

RIP
E. ASTER BUNNYMUND
BECAUSE NO ONE CAN LIE TO QUEEN TOOTHIANA AND GET AWAY ALIVE
MAY THIS BE A LESSON TO EVERYONE

GO ON JACK! HE'S THE ONLY PERSON WHO WOULD GET ATTACKED BUT STILL SAY THAT!

That’s it? Seriously? You can’t stop there! I need to know what happens next!

oh no. it's in first perspective. *runs away*

This is really great! Hmm, what would an evil Jack look like?...

You should add more details to the torture. That was very vague. He could have been wipping him, punching him, cutting him, hell for all we know, he could have been raping him. More details let us know these things. It adds to the suspense and fear

Please continue! I know you've been on this site back in April and I know you're probably really busy, but please update. I will give you a cookie. A big fat one that's chocolate chip with sprinkles and whipped cream. And ice cream and hot fudge on the side! Plus hot cocoa! So please...please? For the sake of my little bit of sanity I still have? Please?

I am so, so sorry. I have never felt that yet and I feel lucky. But you are so right. That isn't supposed to happen. Again, really sorry. But you are a talented writer. And funny thing is, when something sad happens, my muse pops back up. So, I'm still really sorry. Hope you feel better soon.
-Sophie

OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIOGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD! Please update as soon as you can!

Poor jack pitch leave him alone

Aww.. I'm sorry. I lost a classmate a couple of years ago too... He was special needs.. And one day he went home early because he wasn't feeling good. Then the school called the next day to say he had passed away...