While the writing quality of your story is good in terms of spelling only, please note this part of the Content Guidelines:

"Please note FanFiction does not accept explicit content, Fiction Rating: MA, and the rating is only presented for reference."

Remove all detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature in this story if you want it to remain at this site, or upload it to a site where "Fiction MA" content is allowed such as WattPad or Archive Of Our Own.

kyaaaa...
i never thought RenHime would be this hot...
Orihime really are good with the badboys..
Hime's fan...v_

*-* Amazing.

this was the first renhime fic ive EVER read and wow its good!

Loved it! And it would be awesome if you continued with them!

HOT! \m/ I love it.
- asdfghjkl anime

i'm all for renhime pairing, since there's so few works for them. yes, definitely ooc. ori was much bolder/uninhibited than her canon self. as far as the scene, its not terrible. for future reference, since you are depicting a first time, it would be more believable to have more awkwardness and shyness, especially from ori (especially 1st time giving oral-how much pressure, the sloppiness of it, etc, is weird at 1st). its natural to wonder if you are doing things right & worry about how you look to the other person. also, the 1st time for a girl involves pain or at least a fair amount of discomfort (even without a hymen, like if it had been lost in an accident or surgically, its the first time the canal is stretched beyond the girth of a tampon). often, there's light bleeding from tearing of hymen, all of which would be worse w/o foreplay, though you had some kissing & petting covering that. you also forgot to include mention of protection-he was no virgin so he could be carrying disease as far as we know, unless the reader learns via character that he's had a clean bill of health. she is a smart girl in canon, so she should have been concerned with protecting herself-even if its just mentioning that tatsuki went w/her to doctor to get on the pill when she started senior year or when she found she was crushing on renji... there are sexy, playful ways to incorporate condoms in love scenes or you can just mention it w/o taking up a lot of page space. just one opinion. since i'm a teacher i can't help but get very specific out of habit.