Great story :P shoilda continjed though

Yea I think you can continue this but yea with out the crazy stuff mostly just showing how Jaden and Alexis relationship is going, hopefully good.

It is a good read!
I think you could have taken it much further thought. It seems like it ended on a dead note, when the chaos could have been expanded to the point where Jaden and alexis brake free themselves to save the day. Now that's an ending that have worked.

You're right, this story could have been much better, but it wasn't bad either, not bad at all for a first fic, so you probably don't need to feel ashamed. You recognize it can be better and you completed it. It was simple, clean, and it was a fairly believable concept considering what happened to Bastion in season 1 and how that whole epsiode started. I liked the choice of villain and the choice of who ultimately saved the day.

I cannot offer any advice on the writing process, as far as what might be "proper". This fic could have been expanded and detailed a bit more, like how and why did Yubel get involved at the end there, what their friends did after the duel, and what Jaden and Alexis thought of the situation before deciding to stay together. Just stuff like that, and that's not even necessary stuff.

I'll keep a look out for your other stories.

Your idea and setting for this story are idealistic and unique. However a diamond is only as valuble as the way it was made. This story needs to have direction, not pointless romance. Jaden and Alexis are a great couple, but simply throwing them toether the way they were isn't good for a story. Give this story another shot but add the following things please.

1. Have a set in stone idea for the plot. What is happening, who is responsible, how to fix it and who is affected. I believe this story was born of simply not seeing them together the way you imagined it in a different story.

2. Give it detail. Random spirit at the begining aren't story like. Introduce the character, give them motives, and foreshadow there intentions.

I have faith that you can do better.

Wow, Jaden and Alexis are really... I have no words. :D
Well, I hope my review is enough for you to continue. :3

Really good chapter. Maybe a bit short for my taste, but still...
I hope in the next chapter we will know more... :)

I believe they're meant to be truly together. May not anything interrupt the love they've for each other. If they desire to be truly together, then they deserve to be in love in peace. Jay and Lex do truly belong together. May their own love shall b 4ever eternal.

Very nice chapter. :) Well done!
The OCCness is seen, but I think it's really just because of the events in your story.
The story is great and I can't wait for the next chapter of this.

I like where this is going keep it up.

I am still waiting for when they will snap out of it

maybe trow in a lemon or 2 :)

Nice Chapter! :) Jaden and Alexis kissed! :D
I will wait for the next chapter of this story.

Good chapter I world like to see where this is going

they dont know but I wounder will Ubel save them? _