That's cute as fuck, good job.

The Stag and the Wolf. Awesome sauce.

This is so enticing I have to keep reading. Good job.

Interesting stuff.

Oh man. Now it starts.

Oh man I love it! Arya and Stannis friendship commence!

An interesting premise.

Interesting story, but it needs more. Stannis is a difficult character to portray. Honestly, he should consider changing the law so that Shireen inherits before Renly, although I do not doubt that the Tyrell's would just kill her first. Getting glimpses of the past with the brothers is interesting.

I am intrigued by the conversations thus far. Not much has changed as yet, but the fact that Stannis and Ned are talking and Arya and Stannis (which was a surprise, but a pleasant one) is interesting. Though not commonly thought of as friends, Stannis and Ned can hopefully help each other. Also, it would be nice to see Davos helping as well, whether Stannis is directly asking for that or not.

I remember reading this chapter years ago but I forgot about Ned in the dungeons. Very exiting read!

Come on! It sounds like romance and do you know why? Because she speaks like a 20 year old artist after a psychology uni, not a kid. I liked the idea of a small change, but Arya is unnecessary for story and not behaving her age - she should be shouting, demanding. Height of her cunning should be forcing her father to buy her a candy. That's how children her age behave.

I enjoyed this story a lot, especially the complicated relationships between the Baratheon brothers and Ned. Stannis was excellently developed, with all his good points and bad points, and I loved watching him grow over the course of this story.

God little Renly is so adorable. But then grown up Renly is such a prick. But an understand prick, he was an orphan distanced from his family so it was easy for the Tyrells to sink their claws into him. I think Loras was the only one who genuinely loved him.

I guess you forgot about the Stormlords and the fighting men of the Stormlands?

This is an extremely tedious chapter. This reminds me of every young student who watched an Aaron Sorkin film and thought all dialogue need be written in a back-and-forth, quippy and self-aware manner in which the two parties infuriatingly dance around the topic the entire time and feel the need to act clever and congratulate themselves in their cleverness. The worst part about this way of writing dialogue is that it is its own justification for letting it go on FOREVER (because one can never be too clever). And that is what happened here.

You've stretched out a scene that is simply to establish the relationship between Stannis and Arya into a goddamn monologue without end, where very little of value is discussed, but many pseudo-clever exchanges are had. As if the need to feel clever is itself the whole point of the dialogue. In a more meta sense, I imagine that is why it is far more interesting to write something like this than it is to read it.

The story and writing in general, as I've read it to this point, is not bad at all. But this particular chapter is self-serving writing trying way to hard to be clever and subtle and ends up being nothing of the sort.