I'm reading through this and I'm noticing that a couple of these lines are copies from another story called 'Chronicles of Winterhold' which has an almost identical plot to this story.

A story about the Dragonbourne as a mage attending Winterhold and befriending J'Zhargo and Brelyna? Sold! Looking forward to reading more!

I've been doing the same with myself in the game.

I also notice that the Dragonbourne's name is Revan. That said and seeing your profile pic, I can't help but think that was inspired from Star Wars: Old Republic. Did you actually name him that in your playthrough too? That would be awesome!

I wish you can finish the story sometime soon. It's very interesting.

There are a few minor negative things though:

• Character Diologue is too mainstream and predictable. Use more words than just "said" and make the characters more realistic.

• Be more descriptive. The amount of simple sentences in the story is too high.

Overall, it's really good and I hope you can update soon, and I'll send you Tom's potential love candidate through PM BTW.

Awww...it's cute. Lol, Brelyna is my wife on Skyrim, so it's extremely cool to see her in the story :)

I think Revan has leadership inside of him. You can tell by the way he checks on Brelyna when she runs out of the hall.

hmmm, didn't look up in Saarthal in that circular room, did you? The room is even bigger than I thought. I thought that that chamber of coffins kept going as you looked up in that room, but now I learn it's both up and down

lol i couldn't read past "Revan" i'll head over to the star wars section thanks

so far so good i like like your brelyna i am looking forward to seeing what happens. you are improving with every chapter. keep up the good work

NEED CHAPTER 11

Nice chapter, I can't wait for the next one. :)

oops i left a bit out!
the breton prefers shock magic most but can do fire well. SUCKS WITH RESTORATION. he uses things unknown to skyrim, like retractable electric claws in his gauntlets and "magicka containers" which are like soul gems, but recharge your own magicka.
so in a sense, a very early type of iron man.
this is the only oc so far, so I should win!?

i answer your call!
name: (you pick, i don't know any good ones.)
race: breton male
full enchanted dwarven armour (all armour boosts his destruction skill)
best enchanter in skyrim (which doesn't take much to be ;) )
a bit loony because of a run in with sheogorath...
uses a LOT of puns. e.g. shoots an ice spike, "this'll help you COOL OFF! BWAHAHAH!"
could enchant rev's sword and bow?

Awesome story so far. Can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Interesting, I really like your description of Sarthaal and the dungeon part. Well done!

This is pretty cool. Update Soon!

I've just read all of what you have so far and I must say you're doing a good job of it. No grammatical or spelling errors, good development of the characters and for one of my favourite quests in Skyrim. I always liked the College of Winterhold and you do the quest well so far. I'd like to see where you go with.
There's just one thing I've noticed. You have my own Skyrim story Favorited and I can't help but notice that the way you've done this wards chapter is almost exactly the same as I've done mine, damn near identical right down to the dialogue, progression and character thoughts... care to comment?