Tell me the truth: you are Rowling in disguise, posting this here because you forgot to add it in the third book, isn't that right? Because it's the only explanation! This was PERFECT!

Best fanfic I've read on this site up to know!

I do like this story, I think it's something that could have happened in the canon.

Hey,

I think you did a great job with this story and capturing the mentoring dynamic between Lupin and Neville. I love how you show enough of the pair's body language to show exactly how nervous and edgy Neville is and how Lupin is hurting but is still trying to be strong and reassuring to Neville. I also love how you start to bring Neville's parents to life and your acknowledgement of the burden Neville carries because he loves his parents. And I thought that ending was a neat (and plausible) way for Neville to have started to want to become good at Defense. Great work!

That being said though, I did think the ending lacked some of the polish of the rest of the story. It seemed almost a bit corny, especially in comparison with Lupin's educated diction and Neville's nervous evasions. I liked the ideas present; I just think they could have been expressed in a way that fits the tone of the rest of the story.

On that note, I would like to refer you to a creative roleplaying site called Rocky Mountain International (www. rmimagic .com). From this story it looks like you'd fit in wonderfully with the other creative writers there, and I think they need a staff member too. You should definitely take a look. :)

Cheers,
Julia