Awesome fic! I am really loving what you're doing here. Keep up the great work!

Wow okay so pretty much I’m horrible for not reviewing promptly and this will probably suck because I am sleep-deprived and my mind is on stressful things. Like finals I will probably fail. Still at least I’ll review before the next chapter gets posted. I would have reviewed right when I read it (aka immediately after it was submitted) but it takes my mind a while to wrap around it all.

Lace is someone I barely know yet I desire to know more. It’s just so heartbreaking that we’re having to learn about her after her life has ended, after all the bad things have happened and she’s nothing more than a memory that seems to plague not just Addison (although he seems to have the strongest connection, for obvious reasons) but also Sammy, and even Landa and Beck it seems. I love that she’s so interwoven in these kids’ lives even now that she’s no longer here. I can’t wait to learn more of her story.

Oh, how I loved getting a peek inside Harper’s mind but at the same time it fills me with sorrow. She is so young, no child her age should have to wake up and count the days until they turn into a monster. (Also I noticed in this section 5th line, Harper is missing an ‘r’.)

There is just so much that went on in this chapter that I cannot begin to cover it all but, my goodness. It was all fantastic and the action was perfectly executed. Please, share your secret of how to be amazing. We’d all like to know.

Favorite line of the chapter: “Connor had taught him everything except how to lose a brother and not feel broken.” Seriously like does this kind of stuff just come naturally to you? This is just so perfect and agsjfkgjhl; yeah, that.

YES. I was hoping for more Gabrielle and, there she is. Providing us an insider look to the Healer world, which is incredibly exciting in itself. Also you did a swell job describing the hospital without going overboard. It gave me a clear picture without becoming needlessly wordy and yeah.

SO MUCH SHIPPING GOING ON RIGHT HERE. You don’t even understand like srsly I’m dying. Goodness.

I really like the reversal of your transitions in the last chapter- this time, they’re polar opposites. Genius, not to mention well-done and smooth and beautiful and wow, just wow. Some of them legitimately sent chills down my spine. Just beautiful. I’m running out of ways to say how wonderful I thought it was.

More than lived up to the grandiose title, love. But it’s not like we were expecting any less. You always manage to exceed expectations.

I hope you’re doing well, and that I get the chance to talk to you soon about things. Stay wonderful, darling.

Hello, love, it's been a while. Sorry it took me so long to get to this (I read it on the day is came out, you know!), I've been having a rocky and unpleasant week. I'm sure you understand - you might be one of the few people I know who could.

In any case, I'm in love love love with this. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing how everyone is slowly, very slowly, but surely coming together. Kind of like woven tapestries, right, where every one is their one individual thread, and they may seem like something singular and unimportant, unattached to the others - but then they all come together to form a grand image. Everyone's part of the big picture, is what I'm saying, though what each character's role is to play in it, I'm not quite sure yet. (This, I think, is that part where you slap my wrists, tut and and tell me to be patient.)

Wow: the revelation of Vexes, of what they are, is terrible. I'm glad to know, and at the same time I wish I didn't. It also makes my heart break because we have been invested in Rence and little Harper since the beginning and now we see the inevitable, don't we? You've given us a prophecy of what's to come. All those poor, sick boys and girls and the people who love them - made into monsters.

I am also very interested in the Father. Before we were given the impression that he was some sort of horrible creature, a despotic and foul thing hunting babes in his land. But now we are also given the idea that he protects the people from Vexes. Peculiar. I wonder how people are able to decide whether they fear him or not. Maybe it depends. For instance, if you are about to slaughtered by Vexes, I bet the Father would be the most welcome of sights.

Also, I would like to tell you that I very much like how you write action. I see action in my stories like mini films, playing inside my brain, and sometimes it's hard to translate the pictures into words, but you seem to do it beautifully. It was easy keeping track of the characters, following the flow of what was happening. And it was suspenseful! I'm not kidding, I was on the edge of my seat. I worried that someone was going to die.

"Owen does not grimace, although his soul does." WOW PERFECT LINE ALERT. You always awe me with how you string words together and it just gives the reader a perfect sense of the emotion or action you're describing. It kind of reminds me of Nabokov.

I'm almost out of words here, but I think that my new baby is Addison (is he my new baby? I can't remember what I wrote you last time). I just mean, like, wow, him and Lace, and he's so broken and trying to be fixed. I'm a sucker for broken boys, you know. He is also very strange: I feel like he has this peculiar power, but I couldn't tell you what it is. Maybe he sees ghosts or the past or the future. Maybe he just sees possibilities.

Finally, I think Gabrielle deserves a mention. I am most curious about the lives of Healers. It seems strange and sterile and maybe a little painful. But Gabrielle seems like a wonderful person, like some sort of mixture of love and desperation. That may just be me.

Well, wonderful as always, sweets. Please know I adore you and that you're great.

Happy
xoxo

Last chapter the beginnings and the ends of sections were the same. Now they are opposites. I thought that was cool. Some of the inversions sent shivers up my spine.

So we know what is happening to Harper know. She knows it, Rence knows it, Deeter knows it. And it's breaking my heart, that she knows exactly what will happen to her.

Fi confuses me. Nisse confuses me. I can't help but wonder what the alleged circumstances of her death were, because "what are you doing here?" does not sound like a question you would adress to your suddenly-not-dead twin. At first she's more concerned about waking their two guests, and now I'm wondering if it's more a question of what did the Heights do to this girl?

I guess what I'm confused about is that we don't know anything about Stephanie's family. Her sister is dead, not-dead, then dead. Her father, mother, and step-mother have made no appearances and probably will not. I'm not sure where you are going with Stephanie.

When Rence decides to get back to her sister, a silly thing like this storm isn't going to stop her.

Yeah, at this point, I kind of forgot to make notes as I went through because the story just drew me in. It happened again while rereading. :/ So, the things that really stood out to me:

We know what the Father's point in this society is. He/She/Them/It kills the Vexes which would otherwise kill everybody. We don't know why yet, but I think this is the first time we've seen the Father as a kind of protector. This is why he can be called down. This is why anyone found in the wake of a Father's attack is killed; if he attacked, there are either Vexes or someone turning into a Vex, and people don't take chances with that sort of thing. This also makes me wonder if this is the reason for the regulations of hair and clothing; the Father comes for those who are not human, but it's not even that, because the Father isn't very good at distinguishing who is human, so they all have to look alike. I don't actually have any support for that, it just seems to fit with what we just learned.

On the topic of Vexes, those things are nightmares. (Haha, it sounds like a joke, but seriously. Nightmares.) The most telling thing is that a storm is going on that people can barely stand up in for the sheer cold and force of wind, and these things view it as the best time to eat as the Father is kept away. There's what they actually are and do; misshapen people, ravaged by a disease and turned into monsters who are still /almost/ human.

The switch from Nisse to Prime was one of those transitions that just adgadfaghgtwe your words do things to me.

Dill says familiar Vexes. Taylor is the only one who does not know what the Cliffs mean. They have all done this before, but that didn't make it any less intense.

I was blown away by this chapter. By this story, really, since I haven't reviewed in a while. It draws me in and holds me. There are so many characters you give life to. I don't know how you do it.

I... You're brilliant. I just re-read the story up to this point today and i think I finally have the characters down to recognition.
This chapter was perfect in all ways. I adore how you started out with them alone and brought them together for this extreme experience. He sheer brilliance of this story and the mysteries that it brings... there are no words to describe how much it means to me as a reader and a writer.
Anyway, I'd like to bow down to your way of writing Nikkia. She's perfect and this chapter really showed the side of her that you didn't know of before. The fight scene was actual quality material and I was hanging in every word.
I can't help but to love Taylor even though I sometimes think otherwise. She's just to perfectly broken that it hurts. I love how you've made her character so strong yet so very fragile.
Landa is amazing. I actually yelled at the ending scene with her and Nikka. I think I may ship them together. They're too wonderful. Same with Deeter and Rence.
So yes. Your story is fantastic and keep up the good work; it's the best there is.

I'll have you know that I was almost late for my first class period cause I checked my email and I saw the update and immediately I was like pshhh I am reading this and then I got absorbed in it in a way that I have now read through it twice because I was tearing away paragraph after paragraph.

Sammy so so so fascinates me. I mean, I don't like him, but I also understand that there is something terribly wrong with him. As has been obvious from the get-go, but the fact that he is still acting on these crimes despite the fact that he has some sense of a moral code. We know this for he is regretting his actions with Lace and he understands that she was innocent. She. Was. Innocent. To make that distinction means that he is not completely out of his mind, he knows.

This is the first time we get to hear Harper's thoughts, and this is the moment in which my thoughts, hypotheses from the previous chapter or so have been solidified. I was actually intending to message you over FB, asking if the vexes were those who suffered from the sickness to its full core, but then the rest of the chapter happened and now I know that horrible truth that you are so devious and delicious to have thought up. I wonder which genre of vex she will become.

Thank you for the gift of delivering me out of an open dislike of Taylor. It has now transformed into a pitying disdain after this chapter. For she is a little girl, in a big world that is not at its happiest and would you look at that he doesn't know everything and she's finally realizing it. Thank you for it was through her that we were able to confirm suspicions about the vexes, and so appreciate the sad realization that They Were Once Human. I am reminded of the zombie culture that is currently dominant in the media where some of the more serious film question what it means to be a zombie, where does the definition of human come into play, what if we could help these people come back from it? At least Taylor has the decency to cry, because she is way more humane than she lets on (which is why she bugs me. Just be honest about having feelings, yo!).

Back to the story as a whole.

Nisse and Fi are still on the edge but are solidifying more as characters. I do not question your judgment to have killed Fi off, by the way {if she did die}, though it does come to my own mind that while I appreciate Nisse's sadness, I am not hit by it in the same way. I simply did not know the girl, and I'm more curious about what happened to her and why there were secrets. By the way "Vul-tari", yeah, made me giggle.

Hope little Copper is doing okay.

Okay, the whole thing with Addison and Prime. The piece in particular that jumped out: "Prime does not pet her" ... ooooh girlie this line gave me delicious shivers of knowing.

As well as the fact that Addison called Prime his friend.

I think I would have liked to have seen the old Addison who had words that threaded themselves into a beautiful pattern and intricacy. By the way, I love that mountain lion already.

The next part of the chapter is where the pace really picked up and my dear you did such a great job at creating the intensity through which they were struggling in. The impending doom of the on-coming vexes I could feel and my reading increased and I'm reading through it again, once for for pleasure and twice for guarded comprehension. Rigby and Dill are heartbreaking because it's the end of them and they were so much of each other. I hope Dill is able to come back from it I really do.

"Lantern stare" which leads to "so you do care for me" is such a sad, wonderful feeling where you finally realize Oh My Goodness Could It Be This Person Sees Me And Loves Me All The Same? You described that so perfectly in a way I have not conceived.

And Rigby was going to propose? liuhgTLHGPUGpigALAGliFGLIUHG kjdgshoiwff

We seem to be blessed with the presence of Gabrielle again. Oh what a dear and how she is able to be a key to an unraveling story is a yumyum nectar and vinegar in one.

Then we have Prime who seems to be playing Doctor and Scientist all in one and that's never a good sign when you have a lion on your side. And then this whole exchange:

"The only thing I can say for certain is that you will experience extreme discomfort, possibly even pain. This is all part of the experience. I urge you to remain calm. In the event of an emergency –"

"An emergency?" Addison blurts, "What is this, the Showing?"

Prime's cat growls, low in her chest. It puts Addison's hairs on end. He tries to pull away, but Prime's fingers lock onto his skin.

"She doesn't like it when people interrupt me. I encourage you to think twice about doing so in the future."

oooooh this gave me so much. It pseudo confirmed an origin, or gave more weight to a theory about {where} this disease comes from and it also shows a crevice of Prime in a new, harsh light that we have yet to see. Then during this entire exchange and the following where he does not. let. go.

ugh I shiver with sardonically lustful delight

"What kind of person owns a lion? Lace had wondered." Such a good question. I'm glad you asked.

Then how Prime freezes with the lion when Addison pleads wait {don't hurt me} it worked, god I just, I feel this tension and it's just so lugahrlugiglarlighffff words

Then Prime offers tea and it reminds me how I have five cups of tea yesterday within an hour and a half because there were free offerings and I wanted to try one of each and damn it was good and I was hyper. Sorry, carry on.

Owen is such a super trooper and all I can think is {be my boyfriend haha jk} you are such a good person with your own demons, but bless you for not allowing the evils of your own world to corrupt you. And poor little Rosie who I adore adore adore is all alone and the image of her curled up with a protective Eclipse is so prominent in my mind. The poor dear and the house is near shambles and Owen is such a hero. I'd ship him and Nikka but Nikka is in another direction which is fine with me, dear author.

Then the fine distinction between crying for yourself and for fear of your brother that for whatever reason he could not keep his promise is just a smidgen heart breaking {and a little bit more than that}.

Okay, commentary on how you just weave the powers of the pokemon in the story ... you do it so well and in a unique way where the powers are mysterious, but not unidentifiable, because these are people who do not understand powers. How pokemon work. They just cross their fingers that they have them and boom there we go. The stealthy way you slip in the lion's and Eclipse's powers, as well as Solar's in this power I am just so impressed with.

Then we're back to Gabrielle and oh look they're doing vex work because damnit it looks like they are trying to fix the problem and they cannot help it. Or at least I hope that's the case. Knowing you there could be a sad little twist that makes me do a double take and guffaw with appreciation.

So, this whole chapter, I just, there was so much, so much. And congratulations for reaching the 50,000 word point! This is officially a book which, um, good for you darling. I'm so proud of you. xoxoxo

To be frank, my mind is all a-jumble right now so anything strange I say ought to be disregarded (actually, most of everything I say ought to be disregarded). Oh, and I suppose I should apologize, too, for taking so darn long to work my thoughts into words and giving them to you. I mean, sheesh, you deserve eloquent, prompt reviewers!

Regardless, I really am in wonder over how you are able to express lots of different things at once and yet still keep them separate: distinguishable and real. Almost hurtful in their honesty. I suppose what I'm trying to convey, is that I always feel what the characters feel (I've told you this before), and those feelings are always really honest, really true to the characters in and of themselves. Today, though, I felt like there was a lot of loneliness that's kind of hard to describe; loneliness of the subtly depressive, melancholic variety. The kind of loneliness people feel when they understand that they exist within singular, self-contained universes that are untouchable to other people. For instance: Deeter and Rence, both trying to keep their hurt to themselves. They're like two galaxies millions of light years away from each other, and yet are destined to spin into each other and self-destruct. I think they would be happier if they could just share each other's pain and thoughts.

I can't put into words how badly, badly, badly I want those two to be happy (preferrably together).

And then, uh, Nikka, who is totally wow with her patience and her kindness. Like, ugh, reading about her made me feel bad because she just seems like a wonderful human being, and she'll pull up the skin of her hands for strangers. Plus, how she handles Taylor is excellent: it sort of reminds of the strained patience of teachers with bad students, all pursed lips and quiet disapproval, subtly telling you to smarten up with every action, every word. Perfect.

I also really liked how all the parts were linked, like a chain of repeated ideas and phrases. That was really excellent, one of the things that pulled the chapter a bit better, in my humble opinion.

I want to say more, but my brain is kaput and I don't want to sound too silly.

Ciao, love.
-Happy
xoxo

Nikka is a star of this chapter. I am totally okay with this. Mostly because I’ve always liked Nikka, but I didn’t know enough about her to be as invested as I am in, say, Prime (because he is such a delicious mystery and I just eat that up). This was truly her time to shine, though. And goodness, new favorite maybe? Well okay I have a lot of favorites but um, she’s up there fo sho. She shredded her palms to save total strangers and she seems to have never-ending patience.

I want to hate Taylor but I don’t think I can. I mean, it’s just a shame she let the lemons life gave her turn her sour… but she’s real for that. I dunno. I think what I overwhelmingly feel for her is pity, because she is clearly a miserable little thing. So mostly I feel disdain for her- but I have to admit, I like the dynamic she creates. She makes me think of a cornered wild creature- tiny but all rage, ready to tear into you but as much motivated by fear as malice. And Landa, extra points to you for telling Taylor like it is. You go Glen Coco. I seriously love this girl for her monologue.

Ugh Rence and Deets can you guys just devour each other in a passionate embrace already seriously you two lovely things are killing me here. No but seriously, the love they clearly have (well, clear to everyone but the two of them, ‘course) is so… /intense/, ugh, I hurt for them when I read this. It’s so heart-achingly beautiful. I’m worried for Rence though, digging a knife into her thigh to keep from crying. That… she- well, damn, that girl is tough. I’m pretty sure if a knife was within an inch of my thigh I’d probably freak the hell out. Still, wow. That’s a strong expression of deep caring for Deeter. But I mean, that boy is like perfection, so I guess it makes sense. (That scene at the end where she was tracing that broad-shoulder narrow-waist back of his adsgfdgdjghkjhlkjl;)

I wonder if we will see more of Gabrielle. I think I quite like her, and I’m fascinated by the codes she has to follow as a Healer.

Owen, my little dear, you are shaping up to be even better than I expected. I love that he keeps referring to Connor, and that he feels compelled to go get Rose because he knows what it’s like to be lost and alone. Ugh. It’s just perfect, the way you have everyone all intertwined.

I don’t think I have a favorite line this chapter. Mostly because I can’t pick just one- there are so many that stuck out to me and being particularly genius. Um. It all just flowed extremely well in this chapter. I especially loved your transitions, how the end of one segment started the next. Seamless and wonderful.

{The great thing about books is that they are absolutely covered in darkness, and everyone loves them anyway. A book could bleed black and most people would rant and rave about the characters instead of wondering if the author ate today.}

This part really stared me in the face, because it is so very true and that is saddening to me. I think it’s because there’s that detachment from author to reader- since the author speaks through characters, it’s them we care and rave about because all we have about the author is a snippet on the back cover. But that isn’t true, at the same time. At least, not for stories on this website. Because we know you and love you and would worry very much should you give us reason to. We are here for you 110 percent. Just remember that, love. :)

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I hope you’re keeping well. Stay happy, stay healthy, and I hope to get the chance to talk to you soon.

Two so recent. I feel spoiled. Even though the other was late, but I digress.

I think Nikka is my new favorite. Actually, though. She is such a sweetheart. Nikka does not allow her past to get in the way. Landa calling out Taylor was my favorite scene in this chapter. Why? Because there is so much truth to everything she said. Whenever I see a person being cruel, doing something mean, what I see is weakness. They cave and take an "easy" way out to protect themselves, they act like they're victims and nothing is their fault. They take no responsibility for their own actions. They are hateful for no good reason. They blame their past, but you know, I have grown with people who have experienced true horrors, and they are precious, good people who aim to not be cruel. It would be easy for them to be all "woe is me" and be a jerk to the rest of the world {confession, big reason why I don't like House. eek don't hate me!}. True strength is choosing {and it is a choice} kindness, to hold on to positivity. I am not saying be an idealist, but negativity is weak. Remaining upbeat and not allowing the bad things to get to you, that is true strength.

And this is why I do not like Taylor.

Sorry about that, back to the chapter, and Nikka.

This girl is such an awesome character. She doesn't really take any of Taylor's crap. She has not really said anything cruel toward the girl. She "shakes off spite thrown toward her". I am practically shaking with You Go Girl! Also, her and her bow and arrow... I find her to be so cool. Though I am really, really curious about where and how she was able to acquire such a skill. That's my only thing, though I am sure you have plans and know-how.

Gabrielle is crooked, sad, beauty. Recognized her immediately.

Fascinating how there is such a strict policy on Healers. I shall be pondering the potential reasoning behind this. Hmm...

Now the whole transaction, Deeter going first. Oh lord funny how what you were describing was a little relevant to a conversation I was having with some pre-med friends and ay yi yi ... I wish that technique on no one. I mean, yay for efficiency, but ... ugh. I shudder. Deeter quieting himself so that Rence does not worry breaks my heart. It's proven that cursing helps to relieve pain a bit, yet in his mind, to protect Rence, he held back, so he was fully embracing the pain. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, what a love it is that you possess.

The piece about Rence taking Stephanie by the elbow ... fascinating.

What more, Rence feeling up his back, ooooh a man with broad shoulders and narrow waist. Can I get a hear, hear?

Back to Owen now, little sweetie I am growing quite fond of. He gets twenty points for being a medic. Real fond of the medics in this 'verse, I am. And oh, Rose, that poor little girl. I had been wondering about how she was doing and I'm relieved that she has been thought of. Props to you for thinking of that important detail.

Addison, on the other hand, Addison I have folded hands and am observing with open, critical curiousity. I know what he did was terrible, that poor girl Lace, but I haven't decided yet. I am just ... waiting. For more information to uncurl and bloom and present the truth of him.

The description of Death is one that you have created that I so like, because Death is feared, and I feel at times lonely. If Death were to be a conscious thing. Though how figurative this memory is I feel may be up for grabs.

Nikka the hero. She's just, she gets all of the win. Jason I like a little more now, because he can swim and has use besides being a stereo heart breaker. Then Taylor, of course Taylor, well I understand the attack first ask questions later thing in this kind of world, but come on! They came in with Nikka {perfect Nikka}! I'd say that Taylor and Carrie a little too alike in this action, but then I {remember} and I laugh.

The next painful piece, oh that love, is watching Deeter struggle when Rence goes under her own operation and I just ... wow I'm actually envious of these characters for their love of one another. It is so powerful it's bleeding into me. Except then I note how they are in even greater pain because of it since neither one of them is willing to act. I want to shake them, tell them that they have something beautiful, that life may be the longest thing a human can experience, but don't let it pass by you all the same. Nisse wins points for speaking truth, though.

Owen is a hero, too. While I'm not a real shipper of any sort {too much energy required} I am struck by the idea of Owen and Nikka. Even though I do like Prime and Nikka as well, except of course that he is who he is and that makes me a little sad but it must be as is.

The transitions you do in this chapter, by the way, feet to feet, words to words, well done. The flow eased like liquid smooth.

Then of course, the monumental shoot-down of Landa. She has won uber points. I don't like Taylor, I doubt I will unless she has some serious character growth.

Ugh you made a cliffhanger with a knock on the door? Why of why?

I want to say something about Fi but I do not have much. She has spirit, I can see, and she has come for her sister, but where has she been? I have ideas, but I think they should be shared face to face {like next week whaaaaat} so I may stew and not risk spoiling.

Oh dearie me, Prime on a bed. That sounds delicious. Addison, tell me of your preferences ;)

Now chapter as a whole? I think this chapter has such great ease in its dialogue. You've flowed the characters and are fleshing them out and how they're all weaving together is Shiver Me Timbers.

Sweetheart, have a lovely Thanksgiving, and can I have a squee for the impending meet up/hang out that hell yes is going to occur?

xoxoxoxo

Happy writing, love

I... You are a writing genius. I'm enamored with these characters and I liked how you jumped from place to place with where everyone was. I'm really loving the Nikka-Taylor dynamic and they add some humor to this serious story. I cannot wait for next time. Until then, have an amazing week and take care.

Oh my gosh, Shade, where to start...

You nearly brought tears to my eyes, for how well I could connect with your writing. It flows and twirls seamlessly, each character's story integrated perfectly. The only bad part about this chapter was that Carrie was unconscious for all of it. (I tease, it was beautiful even without her)

Taylor... Oh wow, I love to hate her already. She's just so dark and mean and I don't like her, but that's PERFECT! The way you're writing her is better than I could've ever dreamed possible. For me, she's the character you think is obnoxious and mean but you like her because you have all these genuine feelings towards her, not the "oh my gosh, I hate that character, it's so poorly written/obnoxious in some stupid way" (which you have none of in your story anyway...)

The storm... I'm wondering if it's a metaphor for something. Knowing you, it is. But what that could be I can't decipher.

Departed! Finally! I get what that means! It's not cryptic slang or anything like I was overthinking it to be. xD

Shade, if you dream about people implanting electrodes into your back with unimaginable pain, I need to make you go watch puppy videos. All day. Until your dreams are happier. I wouldn't mind if everyone in TLO got a Unicorn to ride, and a kitten perched on their shoulder...

How can you leave us until next Friday! D: It'll be torturous to wait! But just know that Thanksgiving is important, so spend it with your family and friends, don't worry if that means the update is late. I'm sure everyone will agree with this. :)

Stay beautiful,

Pika

This... wow. Shade, you take my words away. Even your dark is beautiful, tantalizing with bitter hints of sweetness laced into its consuming temptation. I don't even know how to describe this. It's wonderful. You write the characters as if you've known them your whole life, and you're simply retelling the tragic events that happened to them. Tragic lives, for sure, but it's so easy to fall in love with the characters that I almost want to cry sometimes.

Please, take care of yourself, and continue being beautiful,

Fear

I've been sitting around for ages, you know, trying to think of all the proper words that I want to write, but they're really hard coming. You know what I mean.

Anyways, I think it's appropriate to remind you that you're great and you're beautiful and that there are a hundred people at least who wish they could be as wonderful as you are. It's always a good time to remind you that you're excellent, of course, but now especially, I think? Right?

So, wow, you hurt my heart. This chapter made my chest all tight and my nose kind of runny because I wanted to cry, but couldn't because this isn't a story about tears. I think it's a story about sadness and anger, crazy and hate, and love, fear too, but not about tears. Tears are too weak for these characters and this world, you know? Like, vomit 'till you can't no more, peel your skin back and carve flowers into your flesh, but don't cry. It's like that, and I read about these boys and girls, and I know that they're one hundred time tougher than I'll ever be.

I think, more than Sammy or the idea of the Father or anyone, Prime scares me. He is very, viciously intelligent, and educated-seeming in the way the others are not. The way he speaks with Nikka, about books and the potential energy of ideas and thoughts as impossibly quantifiable is perfect. And not only because it is perfect in the sense of the story, and in the sense of Prime and his existence, but also because I read it, and I thought to myself that it's like that in real life, too. Would we too, in the world outside of yours, have ascended if we hadn't tied ourselves down with such heavy concepts as literature and criticism and expression through ink? I don't know, but reading what Prime said made me think that we might have.

And then, ah, Deeter and Rence, who are just so very precious, and their relationship with one another seems like the one bright speck in this dark setting. I mean, wow, they are perfect. I kind of imagine them as Newton's third law, if Newton's third law were human beings: equal and opposite reaction of each other. Great. Excellent. You make me want them to be happy, and that's almost worse than having a character I wish would suffer.

"In the beginning, Addison wore the touch of his mother's love like a halo on his skin." It's become a thing: we give you our most loved line of the chapter, and this one's mine. Because don't we all? Mummy loves me, Daddy loves me. We achieve a sort of self-actualization through receiving the love of others, I think. And then: "One morning he woke up and instead of a halo, he wore shame." Delicious, really, the way you make it so I've known Addison for about three sentences, and I already dig him, and I already know he's going to be heart-breaker.

In any case, I think one of the things I liked most about this chapter was how we're now starting to see how everything is connected: there are no parallel lines here, only intersections, and where these people and their lives cross, I worry there will be nothing but pain. Maybe that's just me? You've established a bit of an expectation for heartache, sweets, I have to admit.

I feel like there's more I'd like to say, but it doesn't really come to me, so here. Have this mediocre offering, this profession of my love for you, at the very least, ha-ha.

Cheers, and know you're darling.

-Happy
xoxo

I’ve tried multiple times to sit down and crank out a review of this chapter. I usually just end up rereading the whole thing (because I don't want to miss a thing, and I crave more), and then I am just at loss as to what to say. Should I tell you that all of the characters are spot on? That your descriptions are not only effective but also creative; beautiful in a haunting way? I cannot recall ever reading a story and then literally counting down the days until it gets updated, because I’m just that attached to the characters. Other than this. Maybe it’s because the setting allows for such raw emotion, but each character shines in their own way and has been imprinted in my mind. Even if I do not like a character, I am heavily invested in what made them the way they are. And you spin that tale beautifully, in a way that is believable and /real/, even though our world is vastly different from the one you have created. Now I could babble forever about this, so I’ll stop myself right there and move on.

Seriously though there is so much in this chapter I can’t even begin to cover it all. You worked in the introductions of the new characters quite well. It was natural. I already have a good feel for who they are (although it helps I read the OC forms, heh), and they’ve only appeared in one chapter.

It became apparent to me in this chapter that all of the characters are interconnected, or at least they’re a lot closer than I thought. This either means the “Father’s Kingdom” is relatively small, or you’re focusing on a smaller section of it. Owen’s mention of Beck makes me realize he may be a bit more well-known as a medic than I originally thought. That or he just happens to live near them, I dunno. It also became apparent in the way Prime also has a history with Taylor, enough that he knows how to get to her. There’s also the fact that Owen, Bree, and Zyon’s younger siblings all go to the same school. Which leaves me wondering- if it’s such a small community, how is it that many of them don’t know each other? I’m so curious and I can’t wait to see how all the characters are connected.

Prime gets his very own shiny little section in this review because he just keeps becoming more intriguing to me. So in an earlier chapter Prime approached Sammy, and it appeared that they did not know each other. I think. Anyway, now it’s implied that Sammy is in on… something, with Prime. And maybe Addison. Except we don’t know what this something is. Prime’s speech to Nikka was beautiful and thought-provoking, and only adds to his mysteriousness. I don’t know who Prime is, or what his role is in all of this. He’s one of my favorites to read about, just because he keeps me wondering.

Can I just say that Rence and Deeter are too adorable and precious for their own good? Okay. They are. I’m rooting for them hardcore, because they deserve happiness. (Also you used my name suggestion for her Growlithe. :D)

What is this 'Showing' that everyone is talking about? I don’t recall it being mentioned before, so I look forward to seeing what it is. Judging by Nisse’s reaction, it’s not going to be happy times.

Favorite line of the chapter, because it’s becoming a thing: "Well, it's what we gotta do," he says slowly, "So it's gotta be right." You never cease to amaze. Your writing touches parts of my heart and mind that most things can’t reach.

I know there are a lot of things I didn’t cover in this review, but life calls. All you need to know is that, even at 4:30 AM (which by the way, love, get some sleep and take care of yourself please!) your writing is magnificent.

Love and hugs sent your way

When I try to make the good words with my mind, they get caught up and I don't say em no good.